It does not make you a “loser” if you are a “quitter.” You’re not meant to do everything you set out to do! So, forgive yourself for quitting, for crying out loud!
Many of my clients have this habit of pointing out their so-called “failures” to me. Most of the time, they are focused on something they quit or gave up on. Some of them didn’t complete college, and they beat themselves up for not having a college degree and use that as an excuse for why they can’t be successful. Naturally, that is not true at all!
By the way, I don’t have a college degree. I study more now than I ever did as a kid, and now, I’m ready for it! Back then, I wasn’t. Back then, I was enticed to take a full-time position at an ad agency the summer between freshman and sophomore year, and I took it! While working full time during the day, I decided to attend court reporting school at night. I did that for two years before I realized I hated it, and so I quit that school, too. It just wasn’t for me! So, I focused my attention on advertising, and the result was an amazing career in advertising media and television sales that lasted for 32 years! No college degree required.
Now, I’m not saying that you don’t need college. All I’m saying is that we all have our own, unique paths and there is not one, cookie-cutter way to go. I’m also saying that if you are doing something (working at a job, playing a sport, etc.) and it’s not resonating with you, it’s perfectly fine to quit! If you put in a decent amount of time to fully assess your feelings about the situation and it’s not working, …Quit! Don’t worry what anyone else thinks.
Our time is so precious! We don’t get it back! Therefore, do not waste one moment of it doing something you don’t enjoy doing. Being able to do this without feeling any guilt requires you to be able to forgive yourself.
In my book, I have a section on the Three Levels of Forgiveness. First, of self, second, of the act or person, and third, of self again. Why are we the recipient of two of the three steps? Because we are so hard on ourselves, and we need to learn how to forgive ourselves over and over again.
Here are three ways to learn how to forgive yourself for quitting:
Draw a Timeline of the Peak Emotional Experiences in Your Life
Draw a straight line on a piece of paper horizontally. Start to record all the positive and negative moments in your life on the timeline by age. Put the positive moments above the line and the negative moments below the line. This will help you see how many positive experiences you’ve had in your life…many of them have been as a result of you quitting something so you could pursue something else. This is a GREAT way to look at a snapshot of your life and all the successes and wonderful memories you have had.
Write Down One Moment of “Quitting” that Plays Over and Over in Your Head
I have a client who can’t get over the fact that she left a man she loved but wasn’t sure about. He is now married to someone in the public eye, so she is constantly reminded that he is the one she let go. It torments her. Therefore, I had her do the following exercise and it helped her put him behind her and go on with her life.
Write down one thing that you play over and over in your mind thinking “shoulda, woulda, coulda.” Once you have it down, write a list of at least 10 reasons why it was the RIGHT decision! Go deep! Think it all the way through on how many other gifts you’ve been able to attract into your life because of the results of you quitting something or someone. Just like the timeline exercise, this will really help you move past being stuck in un-forgiveness of yourself for quitting, and create the feeling of satisfaction instead of regret.
As Soon as You Feel Like Something is Not Right, Quit As Soon As Possible
Sometimes quitting is the best solution. If the relationship is not working, get out of it! Do not stay in a relationship too long, thinking it is going to get better. As soon as you feel something is wrong, get out of it. The same applies to a job, or a partnership, or a toxic friendship.
Understand that the sooner you quit, the sooner the doors will open up for the universe to bring in something better for you. Trust your gut and really listen to your intuition. If you need help tuning in to your intuition, reach out to work with me directly on how to tune into it. I teach my clients how to manifest and how to tune in to their own intuition.
Forgiving yourself for quitting and learning the art of letting it go is actually being smart enough, wise enough, trusting yourself that it wasn’t the right thing or the right time. You got a lot of value from it and the exact lessons and gifts you were supposed to…including pain, sadness, rejection, relief, clarity, confidence, etc. Now, forgive yourself for quitting and move on.
LOVE IT!: I LOVE BEING ABLE TO CHANGE DIRECTION IN MY LIFE!
THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY INTUITION WHEN IT COMES TO DECISION-MAKING!
BRING IT!: I KNOW EXACTLY WHEN TO GET OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP OR SITUATION THAT’S NO LONGER WORKING FOR ME!
Quote: “Forgive yourself for not having the foresight to know what now seems so obvious in hindsight.” – Judy Belmont