America’s Mindset Coach. Intentional living expert.

The Second Half is WAY Better! Getting real about life after 50!

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The Second Half is WAY Better! Getting real about life after 50!

On “I HAVE TODAY with Diane Forster” Silke Schwarzkopf, co-founder of 2nd Act TV, was a guest on the show, and we GOT REAL about life after 50. It was a fun, lively conversation! If you missed it or want to watch it again, you can catch it HERE. You may want to pour yourself a glass of wine first, if you partake.

Who says that 50 is old?

Who says that the “back nine” means you’re on the down climb? HA! Let me just say this…Life is just beginning in your 50’s! Attitude has a lot to do with it, but if you are cognizant about your mental health and well-being (meditation and mindful practices), and you take care of your physical body, prepare yourself for the ride of your life!!! Because, guess what? This stage of life ROCKS!!!!

I love Silke so much! She is like a soul sister because our backgrounds are so similar. We both “re-invented” our lives at 50. Both of us wouldn’t change a thing, because had we not gone through what we went through, we wouldn’t be the dynamic, fearless women we are today. We bless and forgive everything from our past, and we’ve moved on like eager children…ready for what’s coming next.

What about you? Where are you on the age, mindset, physical spectrum? How do you feel about the 2nd half? Are you or have you “started over?”

Here are three positives about life in your 50’s and beyond:

1. You Are MUCH Clearer about What You Want in Life!

When you know what you don’t want, you know what you do want…the opposite! The universe hears what you mean…not what you say, so if you know what you don’t want, the universe is setting you up for what you DO want. So, so cool…right? Here’s the thing…it sometimes takes up until your 50’s to figure all that out! You grew up thinking you wanted certain things. Then, you realize after you’ve gotten them, they may not be exactly what you wanted. The key here is CLARITY!!! Entering your sixth decade, you have so much experience to draw upon that creates clarity for you!

2. You Move into a Level of Greater Self-Acceptance!

When you get to be this age, you worry less about your physical appearance being so “perfect” and shift into a level of self-acceptance, deeper love of self, and frankly, not caring what other people think. At least, that’s what happened for me. I remember at 40 I started not caring, but once 50 rolled around, I REALLY didn’t care! In fact, if you ask my sisters and my friends, my three-word motto is, “I don’t care.” You realize that other people’s opinions and judgement of you are just that…THEIR opinions and judgement. Once you understand that the only truth that matters is your own, you let go of that need to do things for other’s approval. Wow, is that ever freeing!!! Nothing feels better than just being YOU for your own sake!

Age is a state of mind anyway.

As Christiane Northrop states in her book, ‘Goddesses Never Age’ “Your beliefs and thoughts are wired into your biology. They become your cells, tissues, and organs. There’s no supplement, no diet, no medicine, and no exercise regimen that can compare with the power of your thoughts and beliefs. That’s the very first place you need to look when anything goes wrong with your body.” Yep…You are what you BELIEVE!

3. You are Wiser, Sexier, Present and More Intentional!

This is a time in your life when you “OWN” it! You’re still young enough to look great, and yet, you’re old enough to know that life is a precious gift and every day matters! What a fantastic dynamic! You have the wisdom of years and experience behind you, your confidence is elevated…which is so sexy, and you embrace the “little moments” more intentionally because you know that you probably have less days in front of you than behind you. How delicious!

Getting older is inevitable, aging is a state of mind.

What state do you want to be in in your second half? Enjoy EVERY DAY of this fantastic journey of life! Live it Intentionally. Live it the “I HAVE TODAY” Way! Enjoy the ride! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Intention Statement: I HAVE TODAY to…live each day to the fullest!

With Love,
Diane

Quote: “Age is just a number, and agelessness means not buying into the idea that a number determines
everything from your state of health to your attractiveness to your value.”
― Christiane Northrup, Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality, and Well-Being

If you like this, you may also like:

You’re Beautiful and Don’t Ever Forget That

3 Ways to Not Piss Off God

One more thing…in case you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out the “10 Days to Your Passion and Purpose” Program. For those of you looking to make some serious changes to your life, if you give me a dollar a day for ten days, I promise I can make that happen for you!

10 day passion and purpose program with diane forster

Click Here to Get Started Now!

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Forgive Yourself for Quitting: 3 Ways To Not Feel Like a Loser!

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It does not make you a “loser” if you are a “quitter.” You’re not meant to do everything you set out to do! So, forgive yourself for quitting, for crying out loud!

Many of my clients have this habit of pointing out their so-called “failures” to me. Most of the time, they are focused on something they quit or gave up on. Some of them didn’t complete college, and they beat themselves up for not having a college degree and use that as an excuse for why they can’t be successful. Naturally, that is not true at all!

By the way, I don’t have a college degree. I study more now than I ever did as a kid, and now, I’m ready for it! Back then, I wasn’t. Back then, I was enticed to take a full-time position at an ad agency the summer between freshman and sophomore year, and I took it! While working full time during the day, I decided to attend court reporting school at night. I did that for two years before I realized I hated it, and so I quit that school, too. It just wasn’t for me! So, I focused my attention on advertising, and the result was an amazing career in advertising media and television sales that lasted for 32 years! No college degree required.

Now, I’m not saying that you don’t need college. All I’m saying is that we all have our own, unique paths and there is not one, cookie-cutter way to go. I’m also saying that if you are doing something (working at a job, playing a sport, etc.) and it’s not resonating with you, it’s perfectly fine to quit! If you put in a decent amount of time to fully assess your feelings about the situation and it’s not working, …Quit! Don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

Our time is so precious! We don’t get it back! Therefore, do not waste one moment of it doing something you don’t enjoy doing. Being able to do this without feeling any guilt requires you to be able to forgive yourself.

In my book, I have a section on the Three Levels of Forgiveness. First, of self, second, of the act or person, and third, of self again. Why are we the recipient of two of the three steps? Because we are so hard on ourselves, and we need to learn how to forgive ourselves over and over again.

Here are three ways to learn how to forgive yourself for quitting:

Draw a Timeline of the Peak Emotional Experiences in Your Life

Draw a straight line on a piece of paper horizontally. Start to record all the positive and negative moments in your life on the timeline by age. Put the positive moments above the line and the negative moments below the line. This will help you see how many positive experiences you’ve had in your life…many of them have been as a result of you quitting something so you could pursue something else. This is a GREAT way to look at a snapshot of your life and all the successes and wonderful memories you have had.

Write Down One Moment of “Quitting” that Plays Over and Over in Your Head

I have a client who can’t get over the fact that she left a man she loved but wasn’t sure about. He is now married to someone in the public eye, so she is constantly reminded that he is the one she let go. It torments her. Therefore, I had her do the following exercise and it helped her put him behind her and go on with her life.

Write down one thing that you play over and over in your mind thinking “shoulda, woulda, coulda.” Once you have it down, write a list of at least 10 reasons why it was the RIGHT decision! Go deep! Think it all the way through on how many other gifts you’ve been able to attract into your life because of the results of you quitting something or someone. Just like the timeline exercise, this will really help you move past being stuck in un-forgiveness of yourself for quitting, and create the feeling of satisfaction instead of regret.

As Soon as You Feel Like Something is Not Right, Quit As Soon As Possible

Sometimes quitting is the best solution. If the relationship is not working, get out of it! Do not stay in a relationship too long, thinking it is going to get better. As soon as you feel something is wrong, get out of it. The same applies to a job, or a partnership, or a toxic friendship.

Understand that the sooner you quit, the sooner the doors will open up for the universe to bring in something better for you. Trust your gut and really listen to your intuition. If you need help tuning in to your intuition, reach out to work with me directly on how to tune into it. I teach my clients how to manifest and how to tune in to their own intuition.

Forgiving yourself for quitting and learning the art of letting it go is actually being smart enough, wise enough, trusting yourself that it wasn’t the right thing or the right time. You got a lot of value from it and the exact lessons and gifts you were supposed to…including pain, sadness, rejection, relief, clarity, confidence, etc. Now, forgive yourself for quitting and move on.

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!: I LOVE BEING ABLE TO CHANGE DIRECTION IN MY LIFE!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY INTUITION WHEN IT COMES TO DECISION-MAKING!

BRING IT!: I KNOW EXACTLY WHEN TO GET OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP OR SITUATION THAT’S NO LONGER WORKING FOR ME!

 

 

Quote: “Forgive yourself for not having the foresight to know what now seems so obvious in hindsight.” – Judy Belmont

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The Real Four Letter Word that Starts with “F”

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The real four letter word that starts with “F” is… FEAR!  Why is there so much fear?  What the heck are we all so afraid of???  What are the fears that are keeping you awake at night?  Fear of dying?  Fear of getting sick?  Fear of being alone?  Fear of running out of money?  Fear of failure?  Fear of rejection?  Fear of never being good enough?  Fear of…..fill in the blank!

In my work with clients, fear is the number one emotion that paralyzes people.  Fear causes people to stay in relationships, or jobs, or situations longer than they should because they are afraid of the unknown.  Fear keeps people from going after their dreams because they are so afraid to make a mistake.  Fear stops people from pursuing what they want because they are so afraid of rejection.  This craziness needs to stop!

I used to have many fears as well.  I can honestly say that I am now no longer afraid of anything.  I do not fear death or illness, going broke, being alone, something happening to my kids or family, what other people think of me.  None of it.  I was able to lift the veil off of fear and see it for what it really is…an emotion!  That’s it!  So, when it occasionally surfaces, I remember that…and I CHOOSE to feel a different emotion!

It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen quicker than I would have expected.  Now, I want that to happen for YOU!  I want you living without any fear!  Like I speak and write about worry, 99.999% of the things we fear NEVER happen!  We spend so much time, thought and energy on fears, which means we are living in our future and not our present moment!  Let me say it again…this needs to stop!

Here are three steps to help you overcome your fears:

Step 1: Read “Dissolve the Problem” by Richard Dotts

Richard Dotts is a modern day spiritual explorer, and he’s written over 20 books on the science of manifestation and reality creation.  This is one of my favorite books because he talks about his three-step process (sound familiar J?) on how dissolve our problems through his process of soften-shift-stay.  Essentially, it’s about being in an altered state.  This book is a great read, as there are so many wonderful nuggets in it.  This book will help you to see that our perceived problems, which cause us to feel fear, aren’t even real!

Step 2: Write down all the things you are afraid of so you can then speak them aloud.

I learned this trick from Sonia Choquette.  If we feel fear over something and we don’t express it, then it’s living inside of us.  When we speak our fears aloud, we release it from inside ourselves and, in essence, we give it away to the universe.  I added the first piece to the process because by sitting and thinking about all the things you feel fear over, you can eliminate all of them at once.  I believe in efficiency, so why not get rid of all your fears at once.  Then, if you notice new fears or fears you forgot about at another time, just say them aloud.  Let them go!  There is no need to have that bottled up in you!

Step 3: Change your morning routine and you will change your whole life!

How do you start your day?  Do you sleep with your phone next to you and grab it first thing in the morning?  Do you jump out of bed and get going right away?  Do you mentally get involved in all the responsibilities you need to handle?  If this is you, please stop doing that!

Les Brown says the way we spend the first 20 minutes of our day sets us up for success or failure!  So, it is crucial that you spend that morning time in a very specific way!  I’m going to lay out steps that take longer than 20 minutes, but if 20 minutes is all you can spare to start, that’s good enough.  It is my belief that once you begin this morning routine, you’ll look for ways to find more time for yourself.  I personally spend two hours on my morning routine!  OK, here we go:

  1. Upon waking up and opening your eyes, stay in bed for at least a minute or two (5 minutes is best) in gratitude and appreciation of your bed, the sleep you got, how safe and warm you are in there, how comfortable it is, how lucky you are to have a bed to sleep in (do you realize how many people around the world will never know that feeling?)
  2. Once you get out of bed, go use the bathroom then brush your teeth. Put on your morning pot of coffee if that is what you enjoy.  But, before drinking it (or tea, or anything you normally drink in the morning) go find a quiet place to sit down and meditate.  If you are new to meditation, there’s nothing more to it than sitting still, eyes closed, and breathing in and out.  Focus your attention on your breath, and allow yourself to be still.  Do this for anywhere from 5-10 minutes in the morning (15-20 minutes is best.)  If you want to learn my meditation practice, email me at info@dianeforster.com for more information.
  3. After you meditate, go get yourself your cup of coffee, or tea, or juice and go sit down to write in a journal. Write what you are grateful for, how you want to feel, what you WANT your day to look like, etc.  Take control of it…think of only positive things!  Get your mind used to doing that practice…focus on positive, NOT negative thoughts.  You are a creator, so CREATE WHAT YOU WANT!
  4. Last, listen to something motivational or inspirational. If you don’t have time to do it at home, listen to it during your commute to wherever you’re going.  I love Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Lisa Nichols, Wayne Dyer, and many, many others.

What is the purpose of this and how does it relate to fear?  This will help with your mindset.  When your mindset is positive and upbeat, fear can’t get in there!

You no longer have to be a victim of fear.  You can CONTROL your mind and your thoughts, and re-direct them in a much safer, happier direction.  Follow these steps and let me know how they work for you!  Let’s get you fearlessly living the life of your dreams!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE HOW FEARLESSLY I LIVE EACH DAY!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY FEARLESS ATTITUDE!

BRING IT!:  I AM IN CONTROL OF MY EMOTIONS, DECISIONS AND MY LIFE!

 

Quote:  “The eagle has no fear of adversity. We need to be like the eagle and have a fearless spirit of a conqueror!” – Joyce Meyer

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Only 4% of Women Think They Are Beautiful …Four Steps to Change That!

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The brand Dove put out an incredible piece awhile back about women in five cities around the world.  They were given two doorways to choose to pass through…the “Beautiful” doorway or the “Average” doorway.  Guess which doorway most of the women chose.  I’ll post the link to it at the end of the blog so you can see it if you haven’t.  It’s worth the watch.  Enlightening. 

It’s so heartbreaking to think that only 4% of women think they are beautiful.  4%…Really?  This is dedicated to the other 96% of women out there.  My intention is that by the end of this, you’ll see yourself in a new light.  A new, beautiful light.  The light that reflects on your incredible beauty.

What is the definition of beautiful anyway?  Well, it means “pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.”  It also means “possessing the qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind.”    Based on those two definitions, I believe beauty is a CHOICE.  If you sense it and you think it, then aren’t you?  Would it matter what the rest of the world thought?  No.  It would only matter what others thought IF YOU LET IT. 

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are bombarded by the media with messages that subliminally make us believe we are not good enough.  Buy this lipstick, wear these Spanx (no offense, Sara Blakely, I’m a huge fan!), dye your hair, don’t eat this, eat that, and on and on.

When we do these things, the reason we do it needs to be for one reason, and one reason only.  Because it makes us feel good about ourselves.  We cannot and should not be doing them for anyone else.  Now, I’m not saying that your man won’t benefit from your beautiful new haircut and your hot sexy dress.  Hopefully, he’s the type of man to notice that level of detail.  However, the reason you do it is for YOU.  When we pamper ourselves, love ourselves, do things that make us feel good, we light up!  We just FEEL better, plain and simple. 

Yet, the real issue is that we women tend to always COMPARE ourselves to other women.  She’s got nicer hair than I do, her body is in better shape, she has porcelain skin, her smile is radiant. 

I did an experiment a while back, shortly after my divorce and in the midst of my self-awakening and personal development.  Every time I saw myself in the mirror, whether actively looking or just walking by, I stopped for a second and said “I am GORGEOUS!”  I did this for about two weeks.  Then, I attended a networking event, and I was stunned at the number of people who approached me and referred to me as “GORGEOUS!”  Not pretty, not looking great, not even beautiful.  They used the word I used.  Now, if that’s not powerful proof that we are what we say we are, then I don’t know what is!  It was just an experiment, but what it did for me was lift my spirits, it gave me power and confidence, and it proved to me that the only opinion of myself that truly matters is my own!    Because the way I see myself is a mirror reflection of the way others will see me.  It’s in the energy I am emitting.  I’m passing it along telepathically.  Isn’t that fascinating!?! 

Well, guess what…so are YOU!  What is the program about yourself that’s running through your mind and running your life?  Not beautiful enough?  YOU ARE, YOU ARE, YOU ARE!  I can scream it from the mountaintop, but it will not matter!  It will only matter when YOU BELIEVE IT!  So, I encourage you to please believe it.  Now, I’m going to give you some steps to make that happen.


Step 1

Grab a handheld mirror or stand in front of a mirror.  Look deep into your eyes.  Stare into the opposite eye of your dominant hand.  Keep staring, for at least a minute.  Maybe two or three.  As you’re doing that, do Louise Hay’s work of saying “I Love You, (add your name), I really, really love you.”  As you’re doing this, you will start to notice that your edges start to fade way.  You can literally see yourself expand and see your soul.  It’s so powerful!  THAT is who you are…not just the physical form that you look at every day.  You will be connecting with your BEAUTIFUL Soul!  Enjoy this, and do it every day, if possible.  You’ll begin to feel a shift in you, and you will definitely start experiencing your inner perfection and beauty.

Step 2

Pick a word to describe yourself, like I did.  Feel free to use “GORGEOUS.”  It’s a good one!  But, pick a word that you would like to be referred to as.  Stunning, Radiant, Pretty, Gorgeous, Sexy, Dynamic, and of course, Beautiful, are all great ones!  Then, do what I did…take every opportunity to call yourself by that word every single time you are in front of a mirror.  Then, pay attention, because people WILL start referring to you that way.  It’s so magnetic!

Step 3

For 30 days, abstain from all media related to beauty, or any topic that you KNOW makes you feel bad about yourself.  Do not read any fashion magazines, blogs, watch anything on the internet or TV.  No celebrity gossip.  Nothing.  It’s only one month, you can do it!  Listen, I abstained from meat for 30 days, just to see if I could do it.  Here I am, 15 years later, and I still no longer eat meat.  You don’t know what’s possible until you try.  I’m not suggesting you make it a permanent change.  I’m only asking that you try this experiment and see what starts to happen to you in regards to the way your feel about yourself.  It’s SO worth the effort.

Step 4

This is probably the most important step of all.  I want you to write down a list of ALL the things that you LOVE about yourself.  (We referenced doing this in our “Get Your Sexy Back Blog and Webinar,” but this time you’ll be writing it down and going deeper with it.)  Write down every little detail, like, I love the curve from my waistline to my hipbones, I love the feel of the back of my neck, I like my knees, I like my eyes, I like the way I look when I smile, I love the arch of my eyebrows.  You get the picture…write down EVERYTHING.  Make the list as long as possible.  You can keep this in your journal, or you can keep it near one of the mirrors you spend time in front of every day.  That could be your make-up mirror or your bathroom mirror, but place it somewhere that will keep it top-of-mind for you.  When you see it, stop for a minute and read it.  Remind yourself DAILY about how much you love about yourself.  When you do that on a regular basis, what you love about yourself will expand.  It’s the Law of Attraction.  And it works…every single time!  That’s why it’s called “Law.”

Well…I hope you’re excited about these four steps, and I hope I made good on my intention at the start of this blog…that you see yourself in a new light.  Or, at the very least, the possibilities.

Watch the “DOVE” video, and think about yourself when you watch these women struggle with something that is truly our birthright…our unique, exquisite beauty!  See yourself in all of them, and make the decision that YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!

Watch the Webinar!

Quote:  “Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself.  When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.”  – Zoe Kravitz

Only 4% of Women Think They Are Beautiful …Four Steps to Change That!Read More