America’s Mindset Coach. Intentional living expert.

3 Tips on How to Not Take Things So Personal

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Not take things so personal

When I had on my friend and spiritual guide Greg Friedman on my show, we went deep into the subject of how to not take things so personal. Greg is the host of an amazing radio show called, “Inner Journey with Greg Friedman” and I have been lucky to be on Greg’s show a couple of times. We always have great conversations together. This show was no exception. If you’d like to watch it, click HERE!

Greg has interviewed Don Miguel Ruiz, whose book “The Four Agreements” enlightened me to this concept during my reinvention and transformation. Having the capacity to practice this skill and live this way is so freeing!

Not take things so personal

Here are 3 Tips on How Not to Take Things So Personal:

1. EED Process of Breathe, Think, Praise

I teach this process in my book, and I use several examples about how powerfully it works on negative emotions. It works incredibly well when you’re trying not to take things personally that someone else has said or done. You can get a copy of the book HERE.

2. Understand that People Don’t See/Hear Themselves

You can’t see the back of your head. That holds true for other people as well…they can’t see the back of their own heads. What that means is you can’t always know what’s going on with someone else, what’s going on in their mind, what happened to them right before you had an encounter with them, etc. So, if someone is being rude to you (flipping you off on the road as they speed past you), do you need to take that personally? No! They probably don’t even know how crazy they look and sound in that moment. Clearly, their emotions are running high and they are behaving irrationally. IF they could see and hear themselves, they might respond differently. Yet again, they might not. Either way, it doesn’t matter…it has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it in. Let it roll right past you.

3. Don’t Ever Let Outside Circumstances Take You Out of Alignment

This takes some time and patience. Make it a rule to never, ever let anyone else’s mood affect yours. If you walk into a room, or come home, or walk up to a group of people talking at a party or work function, and you don’t like what’s being discussed, walk away! Remove yourself from toxic people, toxic conversation, toxic energy! Your job is to stay happy, as much as possible, as often as possible. One of the best ways to maintain a happy state of mind is to be aware of how important that is, how good it feels, and that it’s your birthright to feel that way every single day. So, don’t let anyone knock you out of your state of alignment and connection with your spiritual self.

It’s worth being reminded of this powerful skill set frequently because when you do “get there”…life is so much easier, I guarantee it! Remember the acronym QTIP, and keep physical Q-Tips in your surroundings to remind you to Quit Taking Things Personally!

Affirmation Statement:

I HAVE TODAY to…understand that I am the only one responsible for the way I feel.

With Love,

Diane

Quote: “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

One more thing…in case you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out the “10 Days to Your Passion and Purpose” Program.  For those of you looking to make some serious changes to your life, if you give me a dollar a day for ten days, I promise I can make that happen for you!

Click Here to Get Started Now!

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When and Where Are You Most Creative?

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We are ALL artists…did you know that? We all are creators and creative beings. Some of us devote our lives to our art. Some of us squeeze it in when we can. Some of us let it lie dormant our whole life!  I just finished re-reading Steven Pressfield’s book “The War of Art.” If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. He talks about the role resistance plays in our lives. He says, “The more resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise is to you – and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it.”

Head the Call!

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about learning how to flow.  Much of what I write and speak about is the Law of Attraction, and how easy and fun life is supposed to be. We make it so much harder on ourselves than it needs to be. Many of us spend so much time taking care of things like bills, errands, and commitments that we forget to make time to do what we inherently came to earth to do. That is express ourselves as artists.

So many of us were told when we were young and wanted to be in a band, or travel around the world taking pictures, or become a dancer, “Go to school and get a good job. You’ll never make a living doing that.” So, we grew up thinking it wasn’t important enough and we “tucked it away.” The thing is, eventually your soul will call you out and beg for you to do what it longs for you to do. Either you’ll heed the call, or you’ll live a “less than” life filled with excuses and deep-seeded anguish. I say, “Head The Call!”

I believe everything Steven Pressfield talks about when it comes to the artist and resistance, and I know, personally for me, when I start to write, I feel it every single time. But, the “pro” as he calls it, forges ahead despite the fear and doubt, and gets it done.

What is YOUR Art?

So, what is YOUR art? Are you expressing it? If not, do you wish you could find a way to do so? I’ll tell you this…when you do and you share your art with the world, we will THANK YOU for it! We crave it. We desire it. We need it! It fuels our souls in addition to fueling your own soul. If you’re feeling unsure and need some ways to start, or start again, here you go:

Think about what you used to do as a kid that you’d lose all sense of time about when you did it.

As a child, or a teenager, what did you LOVE to do? When I was very young, I used to love to color and build with Legos. As I got a little older, I loved making scrap books and writing poetry and stories. I’ve been writing in journals since I was a teenager. My soul’s calling was for me to be a writer. Now, with one book complete and many more to come, writing a weekly blog, writing poetry whenever I’m feeling inspired, and short stories, I KNOW that I was destined to be a writer, and the signs showed up when I was a young girl.

What showed up for you back then? Athlete, dancer, singer, artist, painter, sculpture, engineer, designer, musician? Take some time for a moment and think about this. We tend to forget about that time and not think it important because it came to us so easily and effortlessly, that we didn’t value it for the gift that it was!

If time was no object, how would I spend my days expressing myself creatively?

This is WHEN you’ll discover your art. “When” I am writing, time loses all meaning. “When” I am performing on stage, I lose all track of time. “When” I am acting, I feel like there’s no one else in the world but me. “When” I’m painting, I get lost in thought and my fantasies. This is your WHEN. Ask yourself this question and determine your “WHEN.”

What needs to happen in order for me to make time for my art?

This is WHERE you’ll fit this into your life. Time is NOT outside of us. Actually, it comes from within us. We are the ones in charge of our time. Therefore, once you create the heightened awareness that you WANT time to have fun with your art, all you need to do now is figure out where to schedule it in. Then, all you need to do is JUST DO IT! Make it a priority to work and play with your art. Express yourself authentically, and don’t let “resistance” stop you! Then, let the rest of us see it, because we WANT to!

The company is I HAVE TODAY. That’s all we have. Are you spending your day the way you want to? Is there something you’re doing each day that you can feel a sense of accomplishment and pride for at the end of the day. If not, it’s probably because you’re not making time in your day for the thing that feeds your soul the most…and that is your art. So, stop putting it off. The nag and pull won’t go away. Get to it!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!: I LOVE BEING AN ARTIST AND EXPRESSING MY TALENT!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY ARTISTIC EXPRESSION!

BRING IT!: I MAKE IT A PRIORITY TO BE THE CREATOR I WAS BORN TO BE!

 

Quote: I couldn’t pick one, so here are three by Pablo Picasso:

“All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”

“The chief enemy of creativity is ‘good’ sense.”

“The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.”

 

If you liked this blog, you may also like:

Learn How to Flow 

The Power of The Shower

Be Present in Your Tasks

When and Where Are You Most Creative?Read More

The Boomerang Effect: A 3 Step Process to A Happier Life

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In psychology, the “boomerang effect” means a theory stating that attempts to restrict a person’s freedom or change a person’s attitudes often produce a strong opposing response. But, in spirituality, it means something totally different. The way you toss out a boomerang and it comes back to you, the boomerang effect, means that what you put out to the universe comes back to you…whether you want it or not! Like karma, you get what you give, you reap what you sow. Your attitude and actions reflect back to you what is “showing up” in your life.

So, the question is what are you “boomeranging” back into your life? Your relationships, your love life, your health, your family, your money, your career. Do you have the life you want? If not, let’s explore how to change that.

Here is a 3 Step Process to become more aware of what is “showing up”in your life and how to create more awareness around this topic:

Write down a description of where you are right now in your life in the following areas: Health, Love, Money, Family, Friendships, Spirituality, Career, Home Life.

By doing this exercise, you can see what is working in your life and what you may want to improve upon. If you’re like most people, there are some areas in your life that you would consider going well, while other areas could use some help.

Circle or write down descriptive words, adjectives and emotions you feel about each area.

This process will help you identify the language, feelings and energy you associate with each one of these categories in your life. Be as descriptive as you can be, and write as many as you can think of.

Look for and highlight the patterns and similar words. Use one color for positive words and a different color for negative words.

This piece will be the eye opener for you. For example, if you are not happy with your love life, and the words you use to describe your love life are negative: we fight, I don’t love him like I used to, I feel alone, we are like roommates instead of spouses, etc… That is a clear indication of WHY your relationship feels like that for you.

It all comes down to self love. It’s about knowing who you truly are. It’s about coming to the realization that when you love and accept yourself completely, you operate your life from a place of pure love and compassion. You understand that everyone deserves to be loved and accepted just as they are. The best thing you can do for yourself and others is to always be thinking about what you can do for others because you know that you are already complete…just as you are! When you know that, you put out that energy to the entire world, and it comes back to you…over and over again. Hence, you “boomerang” back your goodness, kindness, compassion and love.

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!; I LOVE THE BOOMERANG EFFECT IN MY LIFE!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL THE UNIVERSE LET’S ME KNOW HOW I’M DOING ALL OF THE TIME.

BRING IT!: I GIVE FIRST! I LOVE FIRST! I FORGIVE FIRST! I GET WHAT I PUT OUT THERE!

Quote: “When you speak directly at things and don’t say you’re going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way – a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.” J. B. Smoove

The Boomerang Effect: A 3 Step Process to A Happier LifeRead More

Forgive Yourself for Quitting: 3 Ways To Not Feel Like a Loser!

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It does not make you a “loser” if you are a “quitter.” You’re not meant to do everything you set out to do! So, forgive yourself for quitting, for crying out loud!

Many of my clients have this habit of pointing out their so-called “failures” to me. Most of the time, they are focused on something they quit or gave up on. Some of them didn’t complete college, and they beat themselves up for not having a college degree and use that as an excuse for why they can’t be successful. Naturally, that is not true at all!

By the way, I don’t have a college degree. I study more now than I ever did as a kid, and now, I’m ready for it! Back then, I wasn’t. Back then, I was enticed to take a full-time position at an ad agency the summer between freshman and sophomore year, and I took it! While working full time during the day, I decided to attend court reporting school at night. I did that for two years before I realized I hated it, and so I quit that school, too. It just wasn’t for me! So, I focused my attention on advertising, and the result was an amazing career in advertising media and television sales that lasted for 32 years! No college degree required.

Now, I’m not saying that you don’t need college. All I’m saying is that we all have our own, unique paths and there is not one, cookie-cutter way to go. I’m also saying that if you are doing something (working at a job, playing a sport, etc.) and it’s not resonating with you, it’s perfectly fine to quit! If you put in a decent amount of time to fully assess your feelings about the situation and it’s not working, …Quit! Don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

Our time is so precious! We don’t get it back! Therefore, do not waste one moment of it doing something you don’t enjoy doing. Being able to do this without feeling any guilt requires you to be able to forgive yourself.

In my book, I have a section on the Three Levels of Forgiveness. First, of self, second, of the act or person, and third, of self again. Why are we the recipient of two of the three steps? Because we are so hard on ourselves, and we need to learn how to forgive ourselves over and over again.

Here are three ways to learn how to forgive yourself for quitting:

Draw a Timeline of the Peak Emotional Experiences in Your Life

Draw a straight line on a piece of paper horizontally. Start to record all the positive and negative moments in your life on the timeline by age. Put the positive moments above the line and the negative moments below the line. This will help you see how many positive experiences you’ve had in your life…many of them have been as a result of you quitting something so you could pursue something else. This is a GREAT way to look at a snapshot of your life and all the successes and wonderful memories you have had.

Write Down One Moment of “Quitting” that Plays Over and Over in Your Head

I have a client who can’t get over the fact that she left a man she loved but wasn’t sure about. He is now married to someone in the public eye, so she is constantly reminded that he is the one she let go. It torments her. Therefore, I had her do the following exercise and it helped her put him behind her and go on with her life.

Write down one thing that you play over and over in your mind thinking “shoulda, woulda, coulda.” Once you have it down, write a list of at least 10 reasons why it was the RIGHT decision! Go deep! Think it all the way through on how many other gifts you’ve been able to attract into your life because of the results of you quitting something or someone. Just like the timeline exercise, this will really help you move past being stuck in un-forgiveness of yourself for quitting, and create the feeling of satisfaction instead of regret.

As Soon as You Feel Like Something is Not Right, Quit As Soon As Possible

Sometimes quitting is the best solution. If the relationship is not working, get out of it! Do not stay in a relationship too long, thinking it is going to get better. As soon as you feel something is wrong, get out of it. The same applies to a job, or a partnership, or a toxic friendship.

Understand that the sooner you quit, the sooner the doors will open up for the universe to bring in something better for you. Trust your gut and really listen to your intuition. If you need help tuning in to your intuition, reach out to work with me directly on how to tune into it. I teach my clients how to manifest and how to tune in to their own intuition.

Forgiving yourself for quitting and learning the art of letting it go is actually being smart enough, wise enough, trusting yourself that it wasn’t the right thing or the right time. You got a lot of value from it and the exact lessons and gifts you were supposed to…including pain, sadness, rejection, relief, clarity, confidence, etc. Now, forgive yourself for quitting and move on.

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!: I LOVE BEING ABLE TO CHANGE DIRECTION IN MY LIFE!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY INTUITION WHEN IT COMES TO DECISION-MAKING!

BRING IT!: I KNOW EXACTLY WHEN TO GET OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP OR SITUATION THAT’S NO LONGER WORKING FOR ME!

 

 

Quote: “Forgive yourself for not having the foresight to know what now seems so obvious in hindsight.” – Judy Belmont

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Stop Multi-Tasking: 3 Ways to be More “Present” in Your Tasks

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Are you a multi-tasker?  Do you have trouble staying focused on one thing?  Do you lose things, break things, forget things?  I have good news for you!  I can help you stop multi-tasking.  In fact, there really is no such thing as multi-tasking.  When you think about it, you can truly only be doing one thing at a time.  When we multi-task, we are splitting our time between multiple things, but we are only focused on one thing at any given moment.  For example, if you eat in front of the television, your attention and focus is going back and forth from the screen to your plate and back again.  You’re not fully engaged in either activity.  The same holds true for eating at your desk at work.

Another way this shows up in your life is by over estimating how much you can get done, so you try and do several things at once.  I reference a story about this in my book I Have Today:  Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile…Finally!  Have you ever experienced trying to do too much at once, then you start dropping things, or forgetting things, or losing things?  That’s because you’re not supposed to be doing too many things at once.  Our brain can’t handle it.

What I learned is when you live in the present moment, and stay present on the task in front of you, you remain calmer, your mind stays clearer, and you can get things done faster and more efficiently.  I also learned that it does not matter what the task is…whether it is cooking, doing laundry, paying bills, working out, driving, working…when you focus on what you’re doing and feel gratitude and appreciation for it, the experiences become more pleasurable.  When you multi-task, you are spending time in your future and not your NOW!

Here are three ways to become more present in all you do:

Write Down the Areas Where You Struggle the Most

By doing this exercise, you’ll be able to identify your patterns.  What will surface for you is that you’ll find the areas of struggle are around the things you least like to do.  This is valuable information.  It leads into Step 2…

Learn to Appreciate the Tasks You Don’t Like to Do

We all have things that we must do, and some of them are things we really don’t enjoy doing.  But, what if you turned that into an opportunity to find some joy in the task?  For example, I don’t enjoy doing laundry.  To make it more pleasurable, while I’m doing it I think about how lucky I am that I have a washer and dryer, clean running water, how convenient it is to do, and how many people around the world don’t have that.  Those thoughts make the experience much more enjoyable.

“Time Block” in Your Calendar and Schedule Everything You Can

This is a great technique!  This allows you to be in control of your time.  Schedule days and times and make appointments with yourself to do as much as you can think of.  That way, when it’s time to do a task, you only need to focus on that task!  Time blocking also gives you a deadline to get it done, so there’s no procrastinating.  In fact, it becomes a game to get it done faster!  For instance, I gave myself a two-hour window to write this blog.  I will get it done with time to spare!  The sense of accomplishment feels so good!

We can only live each day a moment at a time.  And, we don’t get them back.  So, you may as well enjoy AS MANY as possible…with both the tasks you enjoy and even the ones you don’t.  By staying present, you’ll enjoy every experience more and more.  Trust me, your lunch tastes so much better when you sit and relax to eat it.  Enjoy the food.  Enjoy the experience.  Your emails and texts can wait until later.

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!  I LOVE BEING PRESENT IN ALL I DO!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR EACH MOMENT!

BRING IT!:  I SAVOR EACH AND EVERY MOMENT OF MY LIFE!

Quote:   “Mindfulness isn’t difficult, we just need to remember to do it.” – Buddha

If you like this blog, you may also like:

Learn How To “Smocus”…The Art of Focusing on Small Goals

Three Steps to Setting Intentions and Outcomes

Stop Multi-Tasking: 3 Ways to be More “Present” in Your TasksRead More

The Ripple Effect: 3 Ways to Make a Better Impression

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Like the drop of water on a calm lake can have an infinite effect on the body of water, so do we!  How is this showing up in your life?  What is your “ripple effect” on others?  What’s the impression you are leaving people with?  And, as a result, what are you attracting in to your life based on the energy you are emitting out to the world?  Figuring out how to make a better impression is worth exploring.

As spiritual beings having a human experience, our energy fields, and our thoughts and words, are a direct reflection of what shows up in our lives.  What we “put out” ripples out into the universe, and those who are on the same vibrational wave will align with it.  But, those that don’t can miss “seeing” you altogether.

You want to attract a soul mate?  Get that job?  Land that account?  Win that award? Be accepted into the club?  Here are three ways to heighten your awareness on the ripple effect you have and the impression you make.

Set the Intention to Be the Biggest Energy in the Room!

Before you walk into any situation…the board room, the meeting, the date, the classroom, the party, the networking event…take a few moments before you enter the room to become present and then expand your energy and say aloud “I am the biggest, brightest energy in the room.”  (If you don’t know how to expand your energy, send me an email at info@dianeforster.com and put in “Energy Expansion” in the subject line.  We can schedule an appointment for me to teach you.  This is SO POWERFUL!)

What that does is it creates that desired “ripple effect” as soon as you walk in the room.  People can’t help but feel your energy and your presence and notice you.  People will be drawn to you and want to interact with you.  Ladies, if you are at a singles mixer, the men are going to be drawn to you!  Your confidence will be highly elevated and your presence will light up the room!

The purpose…GET NOTICED!  In a crowd of mediocrity, be the shining star that stands out!

Understand How Fast Energy Moves with Pam Grout’s “Alby-Einstein” Experiment

In Pam Grout’s book, “E-Squared,” Pam writes about nine do-it-yourself energy experiments.  Number 3 is called ‘The Alby Einstein Principle.”  In the experiment, you take a wire hanger, cut it in half, take the cardboard tube, cut it in half, and basically make two “guns” with the hangar.  Then, while holding one in each hand by the cardboard tubes, the wire swings around loosely.  The next step is to focus on good feeling thoughts, then bad feeling thoughts, and watch how the wire part of the “guns” moves in and out with your thoughts.

The purpose…to show you how we move energy IMMEDIATELY based on our thoughts and our words!  It’s so powerful!  When we focus on good thoughts and words, the energy opens up wide and creates a powerful ripple effect of good energy out into the universe, which allows all of that goodness to come into our lives.  But, when we focus our thoughts and words on bad energy, the space gets closed off immediately…blocking anything good from coming into our lives!  It’s the coolest experiment in the book!

If you’d like to see the experiment in action, watch me demonstrating it live on my webinar.

Can you see how you might use this knowledge in your life?  Can you visualize how powerful your thoughts and words are.  This will help you catch yourself when you slip up now and then, which we all do.  But, your recovery time will be so much quicker!

Take Notice of the Top Five Relationships in Your Life

If you want an indication of how you are “showing up” and the ripple effect and impression you are having on people, take a look at the five closest people around you and you’ll get a clear picture of it.  Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Do the people I surround myself with lift me up or bring me down?
  2. Do I really like and feel supported by the people I surround myself with?
  3. Am I spending time with people because I want to or because I feel obligated to?
  4. Is this the pond I want to be swimming in?

 Answer those questions honestly.  If you don’t like the answers you get, it’s time to look in the mirror and ask yourself some tough questions:

  1. What could I be doing differently to attract more of the people and things I want in my life?
  2. Where might I need to love myself more and boost my positive energy to be more of a magnetic attractor to what I truly want?
  3. What would it take for me to feel worthy of amazing relationships and to live an empowered, happier life being seen the way I want to be seen?

 The purpose…If you want to live an empowered, intentional, happy life, in every area of your life, which is what I teach, then you need to be fiercely committed to NOT wasting a single moment of your life with people and things that bring you down!  When we get dragged down, our ripple effect, and the impression we leave with others, gets dragged down, too.  Life is too short to spend any time around others who don’t lift us up and elevate us.  But, in order for that to happen, we must first look in the mirror about what we are attracting in.  It’s tough love, but it’s so important to living an authentic life!  It’s so worth it, and so are YOU!

Implement these steps into your life and let me know the results you are experiencing.  When you make these small, subtle changes, week after week, they have a powerful, massive impact on your life, getting you closer and closer to getting everything you want!  I love hearing your transformational stories!

Watch my Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  MY LOVE OF LIFE HAS A POSITIVE RIPPLE EFFECT ON THE WORLD!

THANK IT!:  I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR MY POWERFUL FIRST IMPRESSIONS!

BRING IT!:  I AM A MAGNET FOR ONLY POSITIVE PEOPLE AND EXPERIENCES IN MY LIFE!

 

 

Quote: “You must so impress others that they will feel that in associating with you they will get increase for themselves.”  Wallace D. Wattles

 

 

 

 

The Ripple Effect: 3 Ways to Make a Better ImpressionRead More

How to Master the Art of Magnetic Manifestation

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I love the power of manifestation!  But, what is manifestation?  How does it work?  Why does it work better for some people than it does for other people?  How can it work for YOU???

I’m going to show you how you can tap into your own manifestation skills to create the life of your dreams in EVERY area of so you can HAVE IT ALL!

Manifest means to display or show (a quality or feeling) by one’s acts or appearance; to demonstrate; be evidence of; prove; become apparent through the appearance of symptoms.  Simply put as it relates to the Law of Attraction, manifestation is the process of thoughts turning into things.

So, how can you dial up your manifestation skills to attract more of the things you WANT into your life and less of the things you don’t want.

What do you want? Is it…

To be in a romantic relationship?

To be healthy and well?

To be wealthy and financially free?

To have a career that you love?

To feel inspired every day?

To be happy?

To be able to live in the present moment without thinking about the past or worrying about the future?

To be so in love with life you can’t believe it???

Well, you can HAVE IT ALL!!!  There is nothing stopping you, other than your limiting beliefs!  Let’s consider all that exists in the world today.  Every single thing started out as a thought or an idea.  By the time the thought or idea has manifested, the object to which the thought or idea came from has ALREADY been created vibrationally!  The non-physical creation of it is ALREADY DONE!  As Bob Proctor says, “If you can see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand.”  EVERYTHING is a creation of thought first.

Here are three ways to get you there:

Focus on Where You Are Going and What You Want, Not on Where You Are and What You Have

Take out a piece of paper and on the bottom left side of the page, draw a circle.  Inside of the circle, write “YOU ARE HERE” just like you see on directory signs.  Next, draw a big circle at the top right side of the page.  Inside, write “WHAT YOU WANT.”  Then, draw an arrow from the first circle to the second circle.

When you want something, think about this diagram.  Picture this in your mind, and focus your thoughts and your words on what it is you WANT, not what you HAVE.  Keep thinking about the BIG CIRCLE in the upper right corner of the page.  Let that become your “trigger” for remembering to focus all of your energy and attention on what you want!   You can’t get what it is you long for from the same thinking place where you are.  You must be thinking about your DESIRED OUTCOME.

Talk About Your Life As If You Already Have What You Want

This creates magnetic manifestation.  If you’re running a new business, talk about it as if it’s already wildly successful.  Talk about your HEALTH, not your sickness.  Talk about your relationships exclusively from a place of love and admiration.  If you’re in a relationship that is 80% of what you want, but 20% of what you don’t like, focus on the 80%!  Your attention to the positive will create more positive!  Then, act and imagine that the rest of what you want in the relationship is there…watch how things that would normally drive you crazy begin to disappear!

Release Your Attachment to the “Thing” You Want

This may seem counter-productive to the manifestation processes listed above, but this piece is critical to the speed and outcome with which you attract things into your life!

Don’t be SO focused on your desire for it that you create energy around the fact that it’s not here.  Otherwise, it CANNOT come into your life, because more of the energy will be focused on its absence instead of the desire.  If you want love in your life, but you have so much thought, focus and attention on the fact that you don’t have it in your life, your love can’t come in!  Your energy is blocking him!  You must first love yourself and love the idea of VISUALIZING him already in your life!  Imagine him in bed with you, eating dinner with you, watching TV with you, going to the store with you, taking walks with you, etc.  When you do that in a fun, playful, UNATTACHED way, he can’t help but come into your life!

Other powerful tools for manifesting quickly into your life are:

Journaling:  Write about everything you want, and FEEL GOOD while doing it!

Vision Boards:  Very POWERFUL way to manifest things into your life.

Gratitude:  Be grateful for where you currently are, knowing that you’ll always want more and that it is a journey.  We are forever chasing the rainbow until the very end.  We are never done wanting, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy where we are right now.  Be grateful.

Meditation:  When we meditate and quiet our minds, thoughts about what we want flow in.  That is especially effective if you struggle with not knowing what you want sometimes.  So, allow the thoughts to come and pay attention to them.  This is part of manifesting.

Visualization:  Spend 10-30 minutes per day DAYDREAMING!  Yes, just like a child!  Return to that ritual.  It is a VERY productive use of time!  When you do that, you allow your thoughts to expand, and one desire will help lead into another desire, and so on.  You’ll get caught up in the dream and how good it feels, which is what we all want anyway…to feel good!  When you feel good, you are even more magnetically powerful because your energy field is wide open!

I could talk and write about manifestation every day!  It’s such a blessing and a gift once you know how powerful it is, and how easy it is to do!  Pay attention to your thoughts and your words.  Focus only on what you WANT.  Release your attachment to outcome.  Trust that you deserve everything you want and you are limited by NOTHING!

Manifest on!!!

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LOVE IT!:  I LOVE THE WAY LAW OF ATTRACTION AND MANIFESTATION WORK FOR ME!

THANK IT!:  I LIVE IN APPRECIATION FOR ALL I HAVE AND ALL THAT’S COMING TO ME!

BRING IT!:  I HAVE THE POWER TO MAGNETICALLY ATTRACT EVERYTHING I WANT WITH NO LIMITATIONS!

 

 

Quote:  “The moment you say it the skies will open for you and the non-physical energies begin instantly to orchestrate the manifestation of your desire.”  – Esther Hicks

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You ARE So Worth It! 3 Steps to Improve Your Self-Worth

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I talk about how worthy you are all the time.  But, now, let’s talk about WHY you are so worthy, and how much you are, and how very special and unique you are.   Knowing these things is integral for you to improve your self-worth.

Self-worth, self-doubt and self-esteem are epidemic in our world, especially among women.  We need to expose this and empower you to know just how valuable you are and just how worthy you are of every damn thing you want in this world!

When I’m working with my clients, and women in general, I hear their stories of struggle in their lives related to men, relationships, work issues, family issues, parenting issues, etc.  The glaring piece of information that is in common with all of them is their lack of self-worth.  What I started to discover is that it’s the one common denominator with everyone I work with.  They have no idea how worthy they are.  That realization created my mission statement, based on empowering women who don’t know their self-worth to discover their true divinity, power, and purpose.

Many women feel subordinate.  Many women feel incomplete in many ways.  Many women feel like second class citizens.  Many women feel like they are nothing if they don’t have a man or children.  Many women are so hard on themselves!   Why are women so hard on themselves???

This is worth exploring more.  I believe the reason women feel this way is because of old paradigms in their mental programming.  I believe if women knew just how powerful they are, they would use their strength and intelligence in a much more profound way, creating a world so rich in love and harmony.  Instead, their fears, doubts and insecurities create jealously, disconnection and competitiveness.

Here’s the thing…Women ROCK!  Women are multi-talented, multi-dimensional, and multi-taskers!  Women can handle so many things at once!  Women are the greatest leaders in the world! We mother, we teach, we nurture!  Women are the most powerful creators…we birth life, for goodness sake!  That is the greatest definition of creator next to God!

So, ladies, how can I enlighten you and empower you to know just how WORTHY you are of your existence and your place on this earth?  Here are three steps to create your worthiness. All three of these steps have been taken straight from my book, “I Have Today: Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile…Finally!” If you’d like more information, you can purchase on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and my own site!

Empowering You through Affirmations

Empowerment means everything. We tend to take the back seat by putting everyone else’s needs in front of our own. Then, we inevitably get lost in the mix. We want so much to please everyone. By doing so much for others as opposed to putting ourselves first, we wind up feeling depleted, drained, and exhausted…which is very far away from feeling our strength and power.

With all that depletion comes the self-defeating negative conversations within ourselves. Why do we talk about ourselves this way? We are divine, amazing, wonderful beings. But we say things to ourselves like we are not smart enough, we are not good enough, we are not pretty enough, we are not deserving enough, we are fat, we are ugly, we will never lose this weight, we will never get married, we will never have time to do the things we want to do. We can go on, and on, and on. We have to stop it!

Our self-dialogue, whether spoken aloud or even just to ourselves, is having a ripple effect on everyone around us…especially on our children. They learn by example. They watch what we do and they mirror us. They can’t help it.
So, it’s incumbent on you to empower yourself with empowering words…words like “I am worthy, I am a goddess, I am divine.”  Affirm words like that over and over, and over again every day until you believe it!

Affirmations can be really powerful, but you have to use the right affirmations. If they don’t resonate with you, then it’s just empty airtime.

Usually, I list the Affirmation Statements at the end, but TODAY, given the subject matter, it’s appropriate to list them here.  Say these aloud and see how they feel for you.

LOVE IT! I AM SO EMPOWERED!

THANK IT!  I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR MY EMPOWERMENT!

BRING IT!  I HAVE ROCKET SHIP POWER!!!

If you want more affirmations, there are over 150 powerful affirmations in the “I Have Today System: Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile in 90 Days or Less” at HERE

I have found the more I affirm, the more the empowerment flows to me and through me. It’s good to “own” it and know who you are; what you’re willing to do and not do; to be “selfish” in a good way.  It is not something to feel guilty or bad about. You are not taking away from anybody else by you being selfish and putting yourself first and empowering you.  The truth is…when you do, you will be able to give even more!

Create Healthy Boundaries

Another element to connecting with your power is by creating healthy boundaries. One way to do that is by getting comfortable saying the word “no” to people. There are many ways to say “no” in a very healthy way to all the people in your life without causing negative feelings or reactions. If you don’t want to do something, for heaven’s sake, do not do it! Be less willing to say yes right away and more time to process a request before responding.

For example, let’s say you’re in an argument with your mom. A great way to create safe boundaries is to create some space…for you! Here’s how: you might say to her, “I hear you Mom; I appreciate where you are coming from, but I can’t take this on right now. And, while I appreciate and respect what you are going through and where you are coming from, I hope you will do the same for me and appreciate where I am coming from right now. I just need some space and some time. Maybe we can talk about this later or at another time under different circumstances. I am happy to do that, but right now, I have to respect my own feelings.”

Another example is this…

Something in the moment may sound really good. But, upon further reflection, it’s maybe not such a good idea.  Instead of instinctively saying “yes,” learn to say “no” in a respectful way. For example,  “I appreciate your offer, request, etc., but I’d like a little time to think about it and get back to you. I hope that you can appreciate where I’m coming from.” Simple, easy, understandable. You are taking into consideration what works and does not work for you. That’s how you decide what your boundaries are. That is how you respect your time and your worthiness.

You are worth taking the time to create a space where you can process things and not overreact.  When you give yourself time and space, the situation dissipates.  When you revisit it, you come from a place of WORTHINESS and POWER, not a place of victim and wounded child.  That is a much healthier state of being.

Practice this wherever possible by asking yourself this question in any given situation. Do I really want to be doing this? Will this bring me happiness? Am I doing this out of some sense of obligation? By asking yourself questions like this, you’ll start to recognize patterns of where you don’t honor your boundaries, and the “lines” will become clearer.

Be Selfish in a Really Good Way

When you are selfish in a really good way, you can serve the world with much more enthusiasm.

This is a stretch for many women because we have become so accustomed to serving the needs of others first. When you are selfishly loving yourself, caring for yourself, nurturing yourself, you will be emanating radiance, happiness, and joy. You will feel better about doing everything in your life.  My “Selfishness” is I get up every day and express my gratitude. Then, I go and do my routine of nurturing my spirit, mind and body. After that, I feel amazing and ready to take on the day! That’s because I put myself first! That’s the definition of being selfish in a really good way.  It means figuring out how you can serve YOU FIRST above everyone else so that your heart, your soul and your energy tank are full and ready to take on whatever may come during the day.  By putting you first, your level of self-worth sky rockets!!!  So, be as selfish as you can be, then go conquer the world!!!  We need you!!!!

I can’t say enough about the force of being an empowered person. It is your birth right. It is who you are. It is your essence. Do not discount that…don’t play small! When you play small, you deprive this world of your greatness.

You have to play big. You have to shine bright. You have got to be the biggest, boldest, most wonderful being that you can possibly be…and that takes empowerment and knowing your true worth!

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Quote:  “When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.” –  Brene Brown

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How High We Rise is Based on How Low We Fall

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The lowest moment in my life became the most powerful moment!  We don’t know how strong we are and how high we can rise until we see how low we can go.

For some of us, it takes drastic things to occur…like a suicide attempt.  For many of us, it doesn’t take anything nearly that drastic.  But, for me…that’s what it took.

I allowed myself to live in an auto-pilot, unfulfilled, robotic lifestyle for FAR too many years.  I allowed myself to be in an unhappy, unfulfilling marriage and relationship WAY TOO LONG.  I say that I “allowed” myself because I am the one who’s in charge of my life…no one else.  I am the one who was the enabler.  I was the one that made a DECISION to stay…to keep trying.  My ex did as well, but I am not responsible for his actions.  I am only responsible for mine, and I am the one who decides about my life. 

It took a very dark, drastic event to get me to finally wake the heck up!  And I am SO glad I did!  I have NEVER felt better, happier, more fulfilled in my life than I do at this very moment!  And…each and every day keeps getting BETTER and BETTER!!!!  I LOVE LIFE so much!  I love how every day of my life is different than the day before!  It’s interesting, it’s adventurous, it’s exciting, it’s wonderful! 

Had I not gone through all of that darkness, I would have NEVER known how much LIGHT was waiting on the other side of it for me! 

Everything I went through opened me up.  I discovered that there is nothing “outside” of me when it comes to determining my happiness.  It’s all an “inside job.”  I discovered how EASY, FUN, and EXCITING life can be!  I learned that I am limited by NOTHING, and I am capable of ANYTHING!  By the way, so are YOU!!!  I hope you know that!  I am not special, and I’m no different than anybody else.  I’m just more aware than most of how powerful we all are and that we are only limited by our limiting beliefs.  I no longer have limiting beliefs, and if one shows up every now and then, I kick it to the curb!

Part of the reason I can live so joyously and happily every day is because I’ve learned how to see the GIFT in every single thing that shows up in my life.  It is a SKILL I developed.  I was not always this way, but I learned how to be this way.  Once you learn that skill, you will be living your life in a whole new, richer way.  It’s part of what I teach…how to find the gift in everything. 

So, take a few minutes right now, and look at your life.  Look back into your past.  Look at the events that are happening now, and happened back then, that you might be holding on to some negative emotions about.  Are those events STILL showing up in your life, perhaps masked as something else?  Could it be that you are still keeping old pain and old memories alive in your current TODAY?  If that’s the case, see if you can turn that memory into something POSITIVE.  See if you can find the GIFT in it and realize that you are actually better off today BECAUSE of that event. 

Let that “LOW” point ALLOW you to see how “HIGH” you can rise from it.

 

Quote:  Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it.  – Eckhart Tolle 

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