America’s Mindset Coach. Intentional living expert.

Tired of Being Alone? 3 Ways How to Fall in Love Again

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If you’re someone who has been single for quite some time, THIS IS FOR YOU!  Loneliness is epidemic in the world today, and it’s made worse by the isolation created due to our technology.  We’ve never been more connected in one way yet so alone in many other ways…especially when it comes to love.  There are so many people longing for true love and the feeling of deep, intimate connection with their partner.

You’ve been hurt in the past.  You’re scared.  You feel like you’re afraid to trust again.  You don’t want to feel rejected.  You can’t find what you’re looking for.  You’re picky.  You’ve convinced yourself that maybe being in love and living happily ever after isn’t in the cards for you.  Does any of this sound like you? Are you ready to fall in love again?

What would it feel like to…

  • Find the one you’ve been longing for?
  • Trust that you are worthy of a rich, divine loving relationship?
  • Be living each day in a loving, committed relationship and be happy?
  • Go to sleep with and wake up next to the love of your life?
  • Never feel lonely ever again?!?

Sounds great, right?  Too good to be true? Nope.  It’s absolutely yours to have.

3 Ways to Fall in Love again with Diane Forster

Are you ready to find out how? 

  1. Make Sure You’re Really READY!

As an avid student and practitioner of Manifestation and The Law of Attraction, there is one thing I know for sure…if he or she isn’t showing up, it’s because you’re not ready.  You may think that you are, but your actions are saying something else.  Let’s assess your level of readiness:

  • Do you have room for him/her in your life?
  • Do you keep yourself so busy that you hear yourself saying, “I don’t have time to date?”
  • Are you taking regular actions and putting energy around inviting him/her into your life?

If you want it, then your actions need to mirror that.  How committed are you?  My last three relationships came into my life the moment I was READY!  One showed up two days after I asked for him.  The next relationship appeared on the EXACT DATE I asked for him by.  My current relationship happened less than two weeks after I got clear about what I wanted, and WHAM…there he was!  YOU NEED TO BE CLEAR AND YOU NEED TO BE READY!

  1. Embrace Online Dating!

Online dating is AMAZING, but it gets such a bad rap.  If you’re on a good site that verifies profiles and you’re smart about not giving out too much personal information, you have access to a world of incredible people!!!  Turn your negative attitude about it into a positive attitude, then watch how different the experience becomes for you!  HAVE FUN WITH IT!!!  Instead of feeling like it’s a chore and another job, treat it like a fun, shopping spree!  Don’t be so quick to judge a book by its cover.  Connect, connect, connect!  Remember, you’re looking for “the one,” but in order to find him/her, you need to get out there and date a lot.  Every date you go on gives you greater clarity about what you really want and moves you closer to it each time.  Plus, you make new friendships and relationships along the way.  Don’t forget, they are looking for love and connection, too.  What you seek is seeking you!

Don’t do the “texting” thing.  Go meet for coffee.  Get together immediately.  Don’t waste each other’s time.  Find out right away if there’s a connection.  Make the time.  Make the effort.  Date frequently.  HAVE A POSITIVE, UPBEAT ATTITUDE about it!  (Note:  please read or watch my “Attitudes Determine the Outcomes” blog and webinar to help you become a better attractor.)

  1. Be Open, Vulnerable and Optimistic

Before you begin any communication, whether it’s online or an in-person date, SET THE INTENTION:  “I Intend To Be Open, Vulnerable and Optimistic.”  Be your authentic self.  Don’t play games, don’t be shy or coy, and especially…don’t be guarded.  Be brave enough to make the first move.  (I love BUMBLE because the woman MUST make the first move.  It takes all the guesswork out of the equation.)  By being “real” you give the other person the opportunity to be “real” too.  Remember, we are all perfectly imperfect…so when you’re open, vulnerable and optimistic from the start, you create an environment to make a “real” intimate connection right from the beginning.  Isn’t that what you want and what you’re looking for?

We’ve just scratched the surface here…but, this is a great start!  Do these three things and you will be well on your way to falling in love again!

Affirmation Statements:

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE MYSELF AND I LOVE BEING IN LOVE!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL TO BE IN A DIVINE, LOVING RELATIONSHIP!

BRING IT!:  THE MOMENT I DECIDED I WAS READY, MY LOVE SHOWED UP!

If you want to find out exactly how to create room for your relationship, how to set up an exciting, engaging online profile, and learn what to say and do on the first date, then email my team at info@dianeforster.com and schedule a private session with me.  You’ll be in a new, fun, exciting relationship so fast guaranteed!  I promise you, it’s closer than you realize!  ARE YOU READY???

 

With Love,

Diane

QUOTE:  “First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love.”  – Maya Angelou

 

If you enjoyed this post, check out these:

Attitude Determines Your Altitude

How to Figure Out What You Want Out of Life

How to Give Yourself Permission to Be Happy

How to Trust Yourself

 

 

Tired of Being Alone? 3 Ways How to Fall in Love AgainRead More

15,509 Days… That’s Not Enough! Top 3 Lessons I Learned from my Mom

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Top 3 Lessons I Learned from my Mom

Today is a very special day in my life. It marks the 15,509th day of my life. Today is the number of days that my mother lived. Today marks the cross-over point where I am now alive longer than my mother lived. Oh, she died so young! Today, I feel more young and alive than I have ever felt, so I can’t imagine what she must have been feeling as she crossed over. Such a short life… so much more to do and to share.  So, today, I dedicate my writing to my sweet, wonderful mom, who lived such a short time, but taught me so much in her brief time here on earth.

Top 3 Lessons I Learned from my Mom

This blog is devoted to my mom. I want to share with you the top three lessons I learned from her.

Lesson 1: Be Forgiving

My mother had the kindest, sweetest, most open heart of anyone I’ve ever known. It’s no wonder she left this earthly plain as early as she did. I suppose heaven needed her angelic gifts. My mom would accept anyone into her home for as long as they needed a place to stay. She would cook for them, take care of them, and love them unconditionally. Despite the concerns of those around her fearing she was being taken for granted, my mother would dole as much love and affection she had to those who needed her love and support.

I learned to be forgiving and accepting from my mother.

Lesson 2: Be Gracious

My mother was so appreciative of any and all gifts bestowed upon her. She took nothing for granted. She exuded class and style with every movement and gesture from another. My mother never made anyone ever feel “less than” or not worthy of her time, her energy or their offerings. She was the epitome of grace and gratitude. I was in awe of her.

I learned gratitude and appreciation from my mother.

Lesson 3: Be Fun

My mother had a fun, witty, effortless humor about her. She found delight in the simple and casual moments. She had a deep, hardy laugh and it seeped deep into you, leaving you feeling light and loving. I always felt better just being in her presence… feeling her light-heartedness and her extraordinary gift to put everyone at ease. I miss her laughter, and I miss her light.

I learned how to find the fun in ordinary moments from my mother.

 

It’s been over 21 years since her passing, and I still miss her so. I wish I could see her. I wish I could share my stories and my life with her, and I wish I could see her growth from her own journey. But, being as intuitive and connected to the pure positive energy that we all are, I can feel her. I still have a relationship with her. It just looks different and feels different than it would if she were still alive. And, while I’m grateful for her “whispers” and guidance, a hug from her sure would feel nice.

I pray to you, I hear you, I love you… always. Thank you for your love and your life lessons. Forever, your girl.

 

LOVE IT: I LOVE THE WOMAN I BECAME BECAUSE OF MY MOTHER’S GUIDANCE.

THANK IT!: I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE EXPERIENCED THE LOVE OF MY MOTHER.

BRING IT!: I CARRY MY MOTHER IN MY HEART AND TEACH MY CHILDREN WHAT SHE TAUGHT ME.

 

Life is so precious… don’t waste it. Not a single day! Shout “I HAVE TODAY to love my life!” Love all the good, the bad, the gifts, the grace, the lessons and most of all, the laughter.

PS: This is blog post #54. Her birthday was 5/4. Coincidence… I think not! Oh, how I love the way the universe works!

 

If you like this blog, you may also like:

Butterfly Miracles

Forgiveness is SO Freeing! 3 Easy Steps to Forgiving

3 Ways to Pay Closer Attention to the Signs

15,509 Days… That’s Not Enough! Top 3 Lessons I Learned from my MomRead More

Attitude Determines the Outcome

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You’ve heard the expression, “Attitude is Everything.” How we feel about something, anything, comes from our attitude about it. If something, or several things, in your life, aren’t what you want them to be, then the question needs to be asked, “What is my attitude about that?”

I work with people of all ages and all stages of life. I hear from my young clients things like, “I can’t meet a girl. I don’t know how to talk to them. I’m not good at it.” With an attitude like that, of course you’re not good at it! How can you meet anyone you’d be potentially interested in getting to know better if that is the energy and the attitude you have? It can’t happen.

When it comes to money, is your attitude that of “I never have enough money” or “money is hard to make?” If it is, you are blocking the abundance of money available out there, and there is plenty, to come to you! Everything is energy, even money. So, money can feel that. Yes, this may sound a little “woo woo” but, like it or not, that is the way the universe works.

Let’s talk about people. If your attitude towards people is “I don’t trust people” or “people always leave me” then you’ll have untrustworthy “leavers” that come into your life.

My work with my clients focuses on mindset, emotions and language — in that order. What you think determines how you feel. How you feel determines how you speak. How you speak determines what shows up for you. It’s that simple. However, if you get those three areas in check, you’ll be amazed at how much easier, more fun, more productive, more abundant your life will be!

Let me give you three strategies to help you take a look at your attitudes and turn them around so they are working FOR you, not against you.

Make a list of everything that is happening in your life right now in four, easy categories: Love, Money, Success and Happiness.

I have a process called the “Desired Life Design.” It’s a powerful exercise that looks at everything going on in your life, wanted and unwanted. It is my belief that everything can be categorized under these for things. For instance, I categorize my kids under “Love.” I categorize my coaching under “Money.” I categorize my home under “Success” and I categorize my fun under “Happiness.” If you want the template for this exercise, you can email me at info@DianeForster.com and I’ll send it to you. List EVERYTHING and be HONEST with yourself. Write down what your attitude is towards every single item on the list.

Look at the list and see what you consider “Working” and “Not Working.”

This is so telling! When you do this part of the process, you’ll begin to notice where you may have negative or limiting beliefs about what you deserve. For example, making money may come easy to you, but you may have trouble in the area of love, or you may be working so much you haven’t given any attention to fun or social activities in your life. This list is going to tell you volumes about yourself! This is a little harsh to do, as it makes you take a good, hard look at yourself and your beliefs.

Write down what your beliefs and attitudes are about the ones that aren’t working.

We are all a work in progress, so don’t beat yourself up about this. Embrace the fact that you are an ever learning, expanding being and that if you don’t look at what’s not working, you cannot begin to adjust it. Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” Hence, your attitude! The same attitude you had won’t render a different result…ever!

So, take the time to look at this list, then write down the OPPOSITE view, or attitude, about that situation.

Our unconscious mind represents 90% of what goes on in our minds. It is FILLED with old memories, negative chatter, harmful memories, and on and on. The good news is the unconscious mind is literal. It will believe whatever we tell it. Therefore, by “reprogramming” it to believe what we WANT to have happen versus our current reality, and we affirm it over and over again, it WILL change and it WILL believe it. We can adjust our thinking and attitude to be WHATEVER WE WANT IT TO BE! We just have to take the time and care to do the work. It’s totally worth doing.

Change your attitudes and your thinking and you’ll change your life!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!: I LOVE MY ATTITUDES TOWARDS LIFE…FUN, EASY, FREE!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL TO HAVE A MIND THAT I GET TO CONTROL!

BRING IT!: NOBODY GETS TO TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN’T DO! I GET TO DECIDE!

 

 

Quote: If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

 

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The Boomerang Effect: A 3 Step Process to A Happier Life

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In psychology, the “boomerang effect” means a theory stating that attempts to restrict a person’s freedom or change a person’s attitudes often produce a strong opposing response. But, in spirituality, it means something totally different. The way you toss out a boomerang and it comes back to you, the boomerang effect, means that what you put out to the universe comes back to you…whether you want it or not! Like karma, you get what you give, you reap what you sow. Your attitude and actions reflect back to you what is “showing up” in your life.

So, the question is what are you “boomeranging” back into your life? Your relationships, your love life, your health, your family, your money, your career. Do you have the life you want? If not, let’s explore how to change that.

Here is a 3 Step Process to become more aware of what is “showing up”in your life and how to create more awareness around this topic:

Write down a description of where you are right now in your life in the following areas: Health, Love, Money, Family, Friendships, Spirituality, Career, Home Life.

By doing this exercise, you can see what is working in your life and what you may want to improve upon. If you’re like most people, there are some areas in your life that you would consider going well, while other areas could use some help.

Circle or write down descriptive words, adjectives and emotions you feel about each area.

This process will help you identify the language, feelings and energy you associate with each one of these categories in your life. Be as descriptive as you can be, and write as many as you can think of.

Look for and highlight the patterns and similar words. Use one color for positive words and a different color for negative words.

This piece will be the eye opener for you. For example, if you are not happy with your love life, and the words you use to describe your love life are negative: we fight, I don’t love him like I used to, I feel alone, we are like roommates instead of spouses, etc… That is a clear indication of WHY your relationship feels like that for you.

It all comes down to self love. It’s about knowing who you truly are. It’s about coming to the realization that when you love and accept yourself completely, you operate your life from a place of pure love and compassion. You understand that everyone deserves to be loved and accepted just as they are. The best thing you can do for yourself and others is to always be thinking about what you can do for others because you know that you are already complete…just as you are! When you know that, you put out that energy to the entire world, and it comes back to you…over and over again. Hence, you “boomerang” back your goodness, kindness, compassion and love.

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!; I LOVE THE BOOMERANG EFFECT IN MY LIFE!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL THE UNIVERSE LET’S ME KNOW HOW I’M DOING ALL OF THE TIME.

BRING IT!: I GIVE FIRST! I LOVE FIRST! I FORGIVE FIRST! I GET WHAT I PUT OUT THERE!

Quote: “When you speak directly at things and don’t say you’re going to try to do something or that you hope to do something, the universe will work with you. Think about it this way – a boomerang goes out and comes back to you if you throw it. If you throw it out at the universe, it will come back down to you on Earth.” J. B. Smoove

The Boomerang Effect: A 3 Step Process to A Happier LifeRead More

Forgive Yourself for Quitting: 3 Ways To Not Feel Like a Loser!

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It does not make you a “loser” if you are a “quitter.” You’re not meant to do everything you set out to do! So, forgive yourself for quitting, for crying out loud!

Many of my clients have this habit of pointing out their so-called “failures” to me. Most of the time, they are focused on something they quit or gave up on. Some of them didn’t complete college, and they beat themselves up for not having a college degree and use that as an excuse for why they can’t be successful. Naturally, that is not true at all!

By the way, I don’t have a college degree. I study more now than I ever did as a kid, and now, I’m ready for it! Back then, I wasn’t. Back then, I was enticed to take a full-time position at an ad agency the summer between freshman and sophomore year, and I took it! While working full time during the day, I decided to attend court reporting school at night. I did that for two years before I realized I hated it, and so I quit that school, too. It just wasn’t for me! So, I focused my attention on advertising, and the result was an amazing career in advertising media and television sales that lasted for 32 years! No college degree required.

Now, I’m not saying that you don’t need college. All I’m saying is that we all have our own, unique paths and there is not one, cookie-cutter way to go. I’m also saying that if you are doing something (working at a job, playing a sport, etc.) and it’s not resonating with you, it’s perfectly fine to quit! If you put in a decent amount of time to fully assess your feelings about the situation and it’s not working, …Quit! Don’t worry what anyone else thinks.

Our time is so precious! We don’t get it back! Therefore, do not waste one moment of it doing something you don’t enjoy doing. Being able to do this without feeling any guilt requires you to be able to forgive yourself.

In my book, I have a section on the Three Levels of Forgiveness. First, of self, second, of the act or person, and third, of self again. Why are we the recipient of two of the three steps? Because we are so hard on ourselves, and we need to learn how to forgive ourselves over and over again.

Here are three ways to learn how to forgive yourself for quitting:

Draw a Timeline of the Peak Emotional Experiences in Your Life

Draw a straight line on a piece of paper horizontally. Start to record all the positive and negative moments in your life on the timeline by age. Put the positive moments above the line and the negative moments below the line. This will help you see how many positive experiences you’ve had in your life…many of them have been as a result of you quitting something so you could pursue something else. This is a GREAT way to look at a snapshot of your life and all the successes and wonderful memories you have had.

Write Down One Moment of “Quitting” that Plays Over and Over in Your Head

I have a client who can’t get over the fact that she left a man she loved but wasn’t sure about. He is now married to someone in the public eye, so she is constantly reminded that he is the one she let go. It torments her. Therefore, I had her do the following exercise and it helped her put him behind her and go on with her life.

Write down one thing that you play over and over in your mind thinking “shoulda, woulda, coulda.” Once you have it down, write a list of at least 10 reasons why it was the RIGHT decision! Go deep! Think it all the way through on how many other gifts you’ve been able to attract into your life because of the results of you quitting something or someone. Just like the timeline exercise, this will really help you move past being stuck in un-forgiveness of yourself for quitting, and create the feeling of satisfaction instead of regret.

As Soon as You Feel Like Something is Not Right, Quit As Soon As Possible

Sometimes quitting is the best solution. If the relationship is not working, get out of it! Do not stay in a relationship too long, thinking it is going to get better. As soon as you feel something is wrong, get out of it. The same applies to a job, or a partnership, or a toxic friendship.

Understand that the sooner you quit, the sooner the doors will open up for the universe to bring in something better for you. Trust your gut and really listen to your intuition. If you need help tuning in to your intuition, reach out to work with me directly on how to tune into it. I teach my clients how to manifest and how to tune in to their own intuition.

Forgiving yourself for quitting and learning the art of letting it go is actually being smart enough, wise enough, trusting yourself that it wasn’t the right thing or the right time. You got a lot of value from it and the exact lessons and gifts you were supposed to…including pain, sadness, rejection, relief, clarity, confidence, etc. Now, forgive yourself for quitting and move on.

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!: I LOVE BEING ABLE TO CHANGE DIRECTION IN MY LIFE!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY INTUITION WHEN IT COMES TO DECISION-MAKING!

BRING IT!: I KNOW EXACTLY WHEN TO GET OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP OR SITUATION THAT’S NO LONGER WORKING FOR ME!

 

 

Quote: “Forgive yourself for not having the foresight to know what now seems so obvious in hindsight.” – Judy Belmont

Forgive Yourself for Quitting: 3 Ways To Not Feel Like a Loser!Read More

Learn How to Flow

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What is “flow?”  No, ladies, I’m not talking about that once a month occurrence that happens to our bodies.  I’m referring to the releasing of resistance, negative energy and uninspired action, and allowing your life to unfold each moment of every day and allowing the universe to guide you to everything you want.  Whether you realize it or not, the universe it guiding you anyway, but are you paying attention?  So, when you learn how to flow and you release the resistance, man… does your life get better!  It gets richer, happier, more peaceful, fun, spontaneous, and energized…. It’s incredible!  This is truly the way we are supposed to be living.

When I’m working with clients, I help them clear away the blockages and negative talk, emotions and thoughts, and I help them look at things differently than they did before.  That process creates massive, rapid results because they follow the processes and they WANT the changes!  They don’t want to be “stuck” in patterns any longer…especially in their relationships.

In relationships where there is struggle, 99.99% of the time it is because there is resistance.  One or both people is fighting for their viewpoint, and it is ego-based.  They are not open-hearted enough or not coming from a heart-centered space to be able to see the other person’s perspective, and that causes a rift and friction.  That tension causes the resistance, and there is no way that relationship can flow under those conditions.  Therefore, if there was a heightened awareness of FLOW and the way it works, it would make conflict resolution so simple!  It would make your communication and connection so deep.  The couple would realize it’s not “his way” or “her way.”  It’s just “the way.”  And the way is flow…let it go and flow…flow towards the easiest, least resistant path.

How can we equate this to our relationships and the way this is working within the universe? Time is only moving in one direction.  The water running down the river only goes downstream.  That is the way the universe works!  So, learning the art of flow is easy to do when you think about that visual.  When you’re struggling with a situation, with anyone or anything, you are fighting the flow.  You’re letting your ego get in the way.  The universe is trying to let it in, but it cannot come to you because you are literally blocking the path of flow.

Flow allows you to release and let go of the outcome of somebody else’s agenda.  Flow lets you trust the higher power and trust that it’s all working out for you.  Here’s how you can practice it:

Step 1: Close Your Eyes and Imagine It’s Your 80th Birthday

This may seem silly, but try it!  Imagine it’s your 80th birthday party.  All the people you love are there celebrating you.  As you sit there, in love and gratitude, look back on your life.  In that moment, you realize that everything you ever wanted has come true for you and you have never needed to worry about anything!  All your wishes came true and your life has been such a beautiful journey.  You are happier than you’ve ever imagined, and you wish you didn’t waste all that time being worried or upset, or that you didn’t spend any time struggling.  HAVE FUN with this exercise and do it as often as you need to!  This is a great “go-to” when you feel like you’re struggling with something.

Step 2: Do the Placemat Exercise

This is from “Ask and It Is Given” by Esther and Abraham Hicks.  In the back of the book, there are 22 Processes.  This is one of them.  This is SO MUCH FUN! Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.  At the top of the left side write “Things I Want to Do and I Enjoy Doing” and on the right side write “What I want The Universe to Do for Me.”   Under your column, write down the things you want to do and enjoy doing, and on the right side, list everything you don’t enjoy doing or you think is hard to do.  Make the list on that side of the page as long as you want!  Then, let go and FLOW!  Let the universe go to work on that list.  But, VERY IMPORTANT, you must PAY ATTENTION to all the signs from the universe coming to you…the phone calls you get out of the blue, the songs you hear, the surprises in the mail, the emails you get…all of it!  This is a phenomenal practice!!!  I use this process to powerfully manifest many things into my life.  So, let this work for you!

Step 3: Follow Your Inspired Action and the Point of Least Resistance

This sounds lazy and unproductive, but only do things when you are in INSPIRED ACTION!  If you’ve got something you should be doing, but you don’t feel like doing it…instead, you want to read a book, call a friend, take a walk, take a nap…do that instead.  Do not do anything important without being in inspired action, because the results will not be good.  It won’t be the quality you want it to be, you will struggle with it, it will feel difficult and challenging.  Trust me, I have done this before, and the results have not been good.  Follow your FLOW and do what you FEEL LIKE doing, and TRUST that the inspiration WILL COME and you will meet your deadline and get done whatever it is you need to get done.  This is so easy, yet people don’t do this.  They beat themselves up for being “lazy” and “unproductive” which is contrary to the truth.

If you’re not feeling the “flow” the answer should be “no.”  So, learning how to follow your flow will guide you to following your bliss.  Go with the Flow!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE THE WAY MY LIFE FLOWS WITH EASE.

THANK IT:!  I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE GRACEFUL FLOW OF MY LIFE.

BRING IT:!  I KNOW HOW TO FLOW, SO ABUNDANCE AND HAPPINESS POUR ALL OVER ME!

Quote:  “May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it si with children.” – Rainer Maria

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www.dianeforster.com

Learn How to FlowRead More

Stop Expecting Others to Act the Way You Want Them To

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As an Intentional Living Expert, I work with many clients on ways to get “unstuck” and to re-invent their lives.  I’ve noticed that one subject comes up a lot is their disappointment in someone else in their lives. When we put our expectations on others, that is asking them to live the way WE want them to live instead of the way THEY want to live.  It is certainly okay to put our own expectations upon ourselves, but it is not okay to put them on others.  We need to stop expecting others to act the way you want them to.

I am not referring to your boss who has expectations for you to show up on time for work and to perform your job, or as a parent to expect your children to obey certain house rules.  What I am referring to is behavioral expectations we create within ourselves on how we want others to behave.

Let me give you an example.

A client of mine was dating a man that she really cared for.  He really cared for her as well.  There were many things “right” about him, except she didn’t like how frugal he was, he didn’t make a lot of money, and money wasn’t very important to him.  For her, money was very important.  She likes to buy nice things, she loves to spend money and in her words “enjoy her life” in that way.  It became a big problem in their relationship when it came time to possibly move in together.

The question is:  Is it up to HIM to meet HER financial needs?  The answer is no.  There are three options available:

  1. She can make more money herself to afford her lifestyle.
  2. She can accept him as he is and learn to live on a smaller income.
  3. She can end the relationship and find someone who will fill that need for her.

It’s perfectly fine to want what you want.  But, that does not mean that someone else will want it, too.  Expectations of others has ended many, many relationships!  I could share countless stories that I hear from my clients.  Almost every one of their “issues” in their current or past relationships has been related to having a level of expectation from someone else to be more like them.

Think about where this is “showing up” in your life.  Do you have certain expectations in your relationships with your spouse, your parents, your kids, your lover, your friends?  Have you had any relationships end because of unrealistic expectations?

Here are three strategies to drop your expectations of others so that you can feel more joy in these relationships, and in your life in general:

Begin to Notice When You Feel Disappointed

When you start to observe your feelings of disappointment, pay attention to WHY you are feeling that way.  What was the event that occurred for you?  You will start to notice a pattern where you have expectations of others.  TAKE NOTE OF WHO AND WHY.

Ask Yourself Why You Need That

This is really powerful!  Become very curious as to why you wanted it.  What you’ll begin to see is that the reason you wanted it is because you want to know that “you matter,” as Oprah Winfrey states.

That is one of the things she knows for sure.  What I know for sure is that we all want to be seen, heard, appreciated and acknowledged.  We want to feel valued and validated.  Here’s the problem with that…it sets us up for so much disappointment!  Even if the person behaves or responds the way you want them to, the first time they don’t, you will feel hurt.

The power must come from WITHIN YOU.  A healthy level of self-love will block those feelings of disappointment.  When you TRULY love and accept yourself, you know this and understand this.

Practice the EED Process

This powerful process is in my book “I Have Today:  Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile…Finally!”

This 3-step process is one of the most effective tools I’ve created.  Emotional Energy Diffuser steps are:  Breathe, Think, Praise and here is how it works:

When you start to feel disappointment, take a moment to pause and take a deep breath.  We always feel some immediate relief whenever we do this.  (Try it right now…take a breath.  Don’t you feel a little bit better?)

Next, think for a moment and say to yourself “wait, this has nothing to do with me!”  It’s so true!  It doesn’t!  Someone else’s response or behavior has EVERYTHING to do with them and what they are feeling and experiencing.  Therefore, you must learn how to not take it so personally.

Last, think about that person and praise them in your mind by saying to yourself, “they are doing the best they can today.  This is all they have to give, and it is enough.”

This process really works!  Please start practicing it in all areas of your life and then let me know how it’s working for you!

When you drop your expectations of others, you are going to be surprised and delighted at the level of happiness you start experiencing in your life!  Your relationships, your level of connection, your level of self-love and acceptance is going to blow you away!  We don’t need others to change to suit our needs or expectations.  We just need to love ourselves more and also accept others JUST AS THEY ARE!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE HOW SPECIAL AND POWERFUL I AM!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY SELF-LOVE!

BRING IT!:  EVERYONE IS DOING THE BEST THEY CAN, INCLUDING ME!

Quote:  “To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves – there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect.” – Joan Didion

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Maintain Higher Vibrational Energy by Rising Above the Noise

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Have you ever noticed that some people love to thrive on gossip?  They are just not happy unless they are talking smack about somebody else.  You know the kind of people I’m talking about.  The ones that LOVE drama!  They love having company in their misery.  They don’t feel good unless they are saying something bad about someone else.  How many times have you been in a situation that didn’t feel good?  You didn’t like the way the conversation was going, and you didn’t want to participate in it.  But, you felt like it would have been rude to step away in the middle of it.  Here’s my two cents:  Walk away!

Be the “cream” and rise to the top!  This is a metaphor for getting to that sweet spot where you exist above all the chatter, the noise, the gossip and the innuendo that goes on all around us.  That “noise” is what tends to keep us down.  In order to “operate” at your highest vibrational level, you’ve got to get away from this type of noise…at least for a little while.  Once you learn the techniques I’m offering here, you’ll be MUCH better equipped to drown out that chatter and live in the “sweet spot” a whole lot more in your life.

The best advice I can give you is that it is WORTH this investment of time and energy because the results that you’ll start to experience in your life will blow you away!

  • Richer, deeply connected, more loving relationships.
  • A higher caliber of people surrounding you.
  • A greater sense of self and massive amounts of confidence.

You’ll start to become very selective of whom you spend time with and where you spend it.  You’ll no longer want to subject yourself to surroundings that drain your energy and literally waste your time.  Plus, you’ll be living with much more self-awareness, more love of self, and a greater level of compassion and kindness.  Doesn’t that sound wonderful?  By the way, this is where most successful people reside.  They don’t have the time or the energy to deal with petty, insecure, hurtful behavior.  They spend their time working and looking for ways to make this world a better place.

To get there, you have to change some things that are currently happening in your life.  Be open minded, and just go with it!  I’m going to show you how to rise above it so that you can be more tuned in to you.

Turn off your TV for 30 Days

Yes, that seems extreme, I know.  But, give it a try.  At the very least, do it for one week while you are integrating these steps.  The quickest way to stop talking about people is to stop listening to other people talk about people!  What a concept, right?  I used to work in the TV industry, so I know that major television stations air over 50 hours of news per week.  The first ten minutes are designed to shock you and to keep you hooked and viewing.  All the bad news of the day comes first.  The expression is “if it bleeds, it leads.”  Taking in those images keeps your vibration down.  How can you feel good inside watching all that bad news?

The drama series and reality shows are filled with back stabbing, gossiping, bad mouthing, fighting, murder, etc.  Drama, drama, drama!  Watching programming like this makes it very difficult to stay in positive vibrational energy.  Our subconscious minds cannot tell the difference between the truth and a lie, so everything we take in is considered “real” to our subconscious.

Do I even need to talk about politics?  Hello…THIS is the most damaging of all!  There is NO WAY in H-E double hockey sticks we have a snow ball’s chance of EVER getting anywhere near world peace with our current state of politics.  We can’t even Love Thy Neighbor!  The ONLY way for it to improve is to NOT give it any attention and only focus on LOVE.  Hate breeds hate, period.  Your way vs. my way breeds divisiveness, period.  Your best bet is to TURN IT OFF!

I know that, for me, I stopped watching TV on a regular basis several years ago.  Now, if I catch myself binging on a Netflix series, I am “off.”  I start thinking negative thoughts, the fears and doubts resurface, and I get into a state that keeps my vibration lower than I want it to be or it should be in order to attract into my life the things I want.  It’s not good.

What’s the effect it’s having on you?  It’s worth it to try and abstain from TV for 30 days.  That’s all!  Just 30 days!  Imagine what you can do with all that time?  Read more, play more, spend more time doing productive and fun activities, sleep more…did I say “play” more?

Remove Yourself from As Many Commitments as You Can for the Next 30 Days

This may seem unreasonable, but PLEASE try it!  Try not to attend any meetings, social gatherings, family obligations, or events that may potentially have a negative effect on you.  Stay away from “clicky” women, gossip, insincere people, negative co-workers, your annoying sister, etc.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to just be alone as much as possible.  When we spend time alone, we can’t be influenced by the opinions or energy of others.  We also allow ourselves the opportunity to “tune in” to ourselves…our inner voice and guidance.  When we’re alone, we can “HEAR” ourselves so much better and clearer!  It’s when we get quiet and still that who we are, what we want, and what our purpose is has the opportunity to reveal itself to us.

I realize that you probably have people living with you…your spouse, your kids, your parents, etc.  However, do whatever you can to spend as much time alone as possible.  Spend that time reading, writing, daydreaming, imagining, listening to uplifting music, anything that helps facilitate you lifting yourself to a higher vibration and get you to that “sweet” spot.

Do Your Best Not to Judge Anyone

There’s an expression that says, “Perception is Projection” and when we point out behaviors we don’t like in other people, it is a mirror reflection of what we don’t like in ourselves.  Therefore, when we judge others, we are judging ourselves.

Everyone is always doing the best they can from where they are.  If someone is rude to you, there’s usually a reason.  People are never rude.  What’s happening is they are exhibiting rude behavior.  The person is separate from their action.  When you think about it like that, it makes is harder to judge people.  When it’s harder to judge people, it’s easier not to talk about them in a negative way.  By accepting people just as they are, it makes it so much easier to stay in a higher vibrational state.  Trust me, you’ll be living a much happier life this way!

In Wayne Dyer’s book “10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace,” the 10th Secret is “Wisdom Is Avoiding All Thoughts That Weaken You.”  Thoughts of judgement weaken us.  He writes “Every single thought you have can be assessed in terms of whether it strengthens or weakens you.”  He goes on to give an example of muscle testing and that if you speak a lie, your arm will move but when you speak the truth, you can hold your arm strong.  He then quotes something from David R. Hawkins’ book “Power vs. Force” on the difference between Force, which takes energy and weakens us versus Power, which energizes since it makes no demands on us.

Be the “cream.”  Do your best to implement these practices, and journal your results.  They will be incredible.  You can’t imagine how different your life can be in 30 short days from today.  When you look back at this day reading this, then fast forward to the end of the 30 days, you’ll be so GRATEFUL you invested the time and energy.  As I always say, have FUN with it…because guess what…life is supposed to be FUN!  Rise to YOUR HIGHEST LEVEL!

 

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE BEING A VIBRATOR!

THANK IT!:  I APPRECIATE MY ABILITY TO VIBRATE ON A HIGHER LEVEL!

BRING IT!:  I POWERFULLY DISCERN THE CHATTER OUT OF MY LIFE!

Quote:  “Let’s not be afraid to speak the common sense truth: you can’t have high standards without good discipline.” –  William Hague

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3 Powerful Decision-Making Strategies for more Time, Money and Freedom

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How are your decision-making skills?  Are they what she should be, or could they be improved?  Do you know that bad decision-making skills could be costing you money?  What’s worse is it could be costing you your precious time.

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what your decision-making skills are like?  I used to think I was a very decisive person.  In many ways I am, but I learned very quickly once I started to deeply look at it that I could be a MUCH better decision maker.  I realized that my lack of stronger decision-making skills was holding back SO much more of what I wanted.  So, what did I do?  I DECIDED to change that behavior.  I DECIDED to make being a better decision maker a priority in my life. 

Why do so many people have such a hard time making decisions?  It doesn’t matter if the decisions are small or big, many people struggle.  Why?  They are terrified of making the dreaded MISTAKE!  What most people don’t realize is that there is no such thing as a mistake…there are only lessons along the way.  The beautiful thing about making a decision that you end up not liking is you can always just make ANOTHER DECISION.  Boom!  It’s that simple!  Just make a new decision!

How many of you have stayed in a job too long?  Or, a relationship too long?  How many times did you have a “gut” reaction to something but ignored it.  Then, you ultimately regretted ignoring it because what it meant was you made a decision to hang on to something way too long.  How often have you thought “Oh, he’ll change” or “she’ll change.”  If you’ve said those words or had those thoughts before, then you know it does not work like that.  But, our fear of the unknown keeps us in situations and relationships longer than we should be because we are afraid to make a decision to change the circumstances.  The truth is…by NOT deciding to change them, we keep away the things we truly want.  We need to DECIDE that our happiness and our desires matter more than anything else, we need to keep that at the front of our minds, and make all of our decisions based on what’s RIGHT for us!

If you’re an entrepreneur, there are major decisions that come up every day.  Without good decision making skills, you could be costing yourself so much time and money.  You HAVE to master this skill in order for your business to not only survive, but to thrive!

Here are three strategies how to have very strong decision-making skills to powerfully impact your life in a positive way:

Strategy 1

You cannot make a decision until you know your DESIRED OUTCOME.  If you don’t know that, then it stands to reason why you may make decisions that you later regret.  Also, you can’t get to your desired outcome from the same state you started out in. 

Therefore, follow this winning formula to make BETTER decisions.  By knowing your desired outcome, you can set the intentions that will create the outcome.  Once you set your intentions to lead you to your desired outcome, you can start moving in direction of your intentions that will create your desired outcome.

The Formula:  (M + I) = O   

Movement towards your Intentions will create your Outcome.

Decide your Outcome.

Set the necessary Intentions to get there.

Move towards each intention.

Put this formula on several post-it notes and stick them all over your home, office, and car.  By seeing these constant reminders, you’ll trigger your brain to be focused on your desired outcomes all day long.  This will help you tremendously in making quick, better decisions.

Strategy 2

Practice making quick decisions all day long.  From the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed, DECIDE, DECIDE, DECIDE.  Decide whether to work out.  Decide what to wear.  Decide what to eat.  Decide where to go.  Decide whether to say “yes” or “no” to that contract.  Decide, Decide, Decide. 

In order to get good at making major decisions, you have to first fine-tune your decision making skills for the small things.  What to wear, where to eat, where to go, etc.  Do your best not to hmmm and ummm.  Just say the first thing that comes to you.  Then, do it!

Once you “master” those decisions, which believe it or not, are so difficult for some people, then you can start to really master bigger decisions, like should I go out with him, should I hire that person, should I buy that car, should I move, should I change jobs?

Strategy 3

Listen to or read books on Decision Making.  One of the best books I’ve ever read was “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown.  Here is a link to his site:

http://gregmckeown.com

This book changed my life in so many ways!  Greg eloquently breaks down the four steps to create a life that allows you to DECIDE what’s most important to you in your life, to weed out what isn’t, and how to live with more focus.  “The Essentialist” only says yes to the top 10% of opportunities and asks, “Is this exactly what I am looking for?”  When you drill down what is truly important to you, you base all of your decisions on that criteria, which creates a much smoother, calmer, peaceful, fulfilling, happy life!

We all seem to be racing towards something and feel like if we don’t say “yes” to everything, we may be missing out on an opportunity.  However, without knowing first and deciding what’s important to us, we have no focal point to direct us.  Like I said before, you can’t go wrong, because if you don’t like a decision, YOU GET TO MAKE ANOTHER DECISION TO CHANGE THAT DECISION!  Don’t you love that!?!

The most important fact I want you to walk away with is this:  YOU ARE THE ONE IN POWER!  You are the one who gets to decide about EVERYTHING in your life!  So, DECIDE what’s right for YOU!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE THAT I GET TO DECIDE ABOUT EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY STRONG DECISION-MAKING SKILLS!

BRING IT!  IT’S MY LIFE, AND I’M THE ONE THAT DECIDES WHAT’S RIGHT FOR ME!

 

Quote:  “Unsuccessful people make decisions based on their current situation; successful people make decisions based on where they want to be.” – Anonymous

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