Watch What You Say…3 Ways to Change ANY Situation

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Watch What You Say…3 Ways to Change ANY Situation with Diane Forster

I once heard Zig Ziglar say on one of his motivational recordings that there were no reported cases of any American Indians who stuttered.  Do you know why?  It’s because they don’t have a word for “stutter.”  To them, it simply does not exist.  That story got me thinking about what it would be like to “remove” words from my vocabulary and the impact it would have on my life.

So, I began a quest to do my best to remove words that I felt didn’t serve me.  Some of the words that popped up immediately were hate, can’t, always, never, stupid, worry, and anything derogatory.

Did you know that everything that’s showing up in your life is a direct reflection of the words you’re using and the thoughts you’re thinking?  It’s true.  We get what we speak about and think about, whether we want it or not.  For most of us, it’s unconscious…we don’t even give it any thought.

If you said, “I’m never going to get out of debt” you’ll wind up with more debt.  If you said, “I wish I could get out of debt” you’ll STILL wind up with more debt.  It doesn’t seem fair, right?  Here’s how it works…the universe only understands one word, and that word is “yes.”  What I mean by that is, in both of those sentences, the focus is on the word “debt.”  Therefore, what you get is more of what you don’t want.  However, you could say, “I wonder what it would feel like to be financially free.”  Another example is, “I am so grateful for all the money I have and all the money that’s coming to me.”  Those are much better, intentional statements with the focus and emphasis on ABUNDANCE, not debt.

If you are looking for the love of your life, what are the words and thoughts you’re emitting to the world about it?  When I hear women making statements like, “all the good men are taken” or “the are no more good men left in the world” I cringe.  I want to tell them in the worst way that it’s BECAUSE of those thoughts and words that they can’t meet one.  There are plenty of good men out there.  They are everywhere!  If you want to meet one, then change your language about it.  Tell yourself and others “I am highly attractive to the most wonderful men,” “I am so lucky that I meet amazing, smart, handsome, successful men wherever I go,” “I wonder what our life together will be like when I meet the man of my dreams.”  Listen to how different those words are.  If more women spoke like this, there would be a whole lot more love going around.

I’ve said my share of unkind words in my life…more than I care to remember.  Whenever I’ve said something in the heat of the moment that made me feel good for only that split second, I immediately felt bad for much longer.  Hours, days, weeks, YEARS!  Fortunately, I’ve learned the art of forgiveness (go back and look at my blog about FORGIVENESS IS SO FREEING if you want to know more about those three strategies.)  Once I forgave myself, I changed my language that I associated with the event.  We can change the emotions we have attached to any situation just by changing the words we use to describe it.  That’s so powerful!

Here are 3 ways to take ANY situation in your life and turn it around, just by switching up your language:

Vocabulary Replacement Exercise

Make a list of words that are not serving your life in a positive way.  As you create your list, add a “replacement” word next to it.  I’ll start a list below to help you get started.  Feel free to use this list and modify it any way you see fit.  But, allow yourself time to really think about these words.  When another one pops into your head, remember to write it down with your replacement word.

Replace:                                                                    With:

worry                                                                               wonder

fear                                                                                   faith

hate                                                                                  heart

trepidation                                                                      trust

bully                                                                                 buddy

react                                                                                respond

Start incorporating these into your sentences.  For example, let’s replace “I worry about my kids so much when they’re away from me” to “I wonder how much fun the kids are having right now.”

Another example, “I fear that I’m going to get very sick” with “I have faith that I am healthy and well, and I pay attention to what my body needs.”

This takes practice, but the more you do it, the more rapidly you’ll begin to create awareness when you’re speaking and thinking in a negative way.  Two things will happen:  You’ll start to replace those words and thoughts with more positive ones, OR you’ll catch yourself and not even bother saying what you were thinking…because you’ll realize there’s no point to saying it and putting it out in the universe.  You’ll start to change the subject and not dwell on the negative.

“The Person I Used To Be” Exercise

This is such a powerful phrase when you are speaking or referring to things from your past.  Instead of saying “I was so afraid, etc.” replace that with “The person I used to be was so afraid, etc.”  We are different people from the time we wake up in the morning to the time we go to sleep.  Millions of cells have died and been replaced with new, healthy ones.  We grow a little older each and every day, and so on.  Therefore, whenever we speak about ANYTHING from our past, we are not the same people we were when we felt that way or had something happen to us!  Therefore, it’s perfectly reasonable to use this phrase!  The beauty of it is that it allows us to change EVERY SINGLE DAY into the person we WANT to be, not who we USED to be.  We no longer need to refer to anything with “always” or “never” (remember, I listed those two words under my list of words to remove from my vocabulary?)  We no longer need to say things like “I always get sick, I always worry, I’m never on time, I never catch a break, etc.”

My Dad, whom I love to death, anticipates getting very sick with a chest cold every January.  He talks about it ahead of time, AS IF IT’S A GIVEN THAT IT WILL HAPPEN!  So, guess what?  He gets sick.  He gets sick because he EXPECTS to get sick.

He will say something like, “I get really sick every January.”  If he changed his words to say something like, “The person I used to be would get sick in January, but I’m not that person anymore.  I am healthy and well,” I truly believe he would stay healthy and well.   Wayne Dyer used to tell a similar story about a man who had a cold.  When Wayne asked him how long he’s had the cold, the man answered, “Next week it’ll be three weeks!”  In other words, he’s already predicting that the cold will last another week or more!

This is another exercise that takes practice, but once you’ve formed the habit and the realization that you have the power to change your circumstances with the words you use, you’ll start to see SO much more good and abundance show up in your life!

Speak About The Life You Want” Exercise

When someone asks me about my businesses, I ALWAYS speak about the business being in the state I want it to be and not the state it currently is in. I speak of it the way I envision it in my mind.   Wayne Gretzky looked where he wanted to the puck to go, not where it was.  Michael Jordan…same thing…he would imagine the shot he wanted to take and see it before it happened.

Before I moved to San Diego, I would say aloud and write in my journal as often as possible that I want to live in San Diego, on a cliff overlooking the ocean, so I can see the sunset whenever I want.  At the time, I was living in the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago in a five bedroom house…and I was nowhere near the ocean!  However, I would think about it and talk about it as if it was a “given.”

When I moved from Chicago to San Diego, I lived in a beautiful vacation rental at the beach in the off season for nine months to get my bearings and decide where I wanted to settle down.  I  lived on a bluff, I could see the beautiful ocean from my deck, I could hear the waves at night as I slept, and I watched more sunsets than I can even count.  The universe gave me exactly what I asked for.  That’s the power of our words and thoughts.

Speak only about the good things in your life and the things you want…not from a place of lack, but from a place of DESIRE.  It’s GOOD to want things.  It’s not selfish or greedy.  We are here to live life abundantly!  So, make sure your words and your thoughts match your desires.

There you have it…the 3 ways to turn any situation around in your life just by watching what you say.  Remember, if you choose to omit words that don’t serve your life, they become obsolete to you.  Just because others use them does not mean that you have to.  You get to decide…always.






Quote:  Our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.”  – Cesar Chavez

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