personal development Archives - America’s Mindset Coach

3 Tips on How to Not Take Things So Personal

September 14, 2018 // by Diane Forster

When I had on my friend and spiritual guide Greg Friedman on my show, we went deep into the subject of how to not take things so personal. Greg is the host of an amazing radio show called, “Inner Journey with Greg Friedman” and I have been lucky to be on Greg’s show a couple of times. We always have great conversations together. This show was no exception. If you’d like to watch it, click HERE!

Greg has interviewed Don Miguel Ruiz, whose book “The Four Agreements” enlightened me to this concept during my reinvention and transformation. Having the capacity to practice this skill and live this way is so freeing!

Here are 3 Tips on How Not to Take Things So Personal:

1. EED Process of Breathe, Think, Praise

I teach this process in my book, and I use several examples about how powerfully it works on negative emotions. It works incredibly well when you’re trying not to take things personally that someone else has said or done. You can get a copy of the book HERE.

2. Understand that People Don’t See/Hear Themselves

You can’t see the back of your head. That holds true for other people as well…they can’t see the back of their own heads. What that means is you can’t always know what’s going on with someone else, what’s going on in their mind, what happened to them right before you had an encounter with them, etc. So, if someone is being rude to you (flipping you off on the road as they speed past you), do you need to take that personally? No! They probably don’t even know how crazy they look and sound in that moment. Clearly, their emotions are running high and they are behaving irrationally. IF they could see and hear themselves, they might respond differently. Yet again, they might not. Either way, it doesn’t matter…it has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it in. Let it roll right past you.

3. Don’t Ever Let Outside Circumstances Take You Out of Alignment

This takes some time and patience. Make it a rule to never, ever let anyone else’s mood affect yours. If you walk into a room, or come home, or walk up to a group of people talking at a party or work function, and you don’t like what’s being discussed, walk away! Remove yourself from toxic people, toxic conversation, toxic energy! Your job is to stay happy, as much as possible, as often as possible. One of the best ways to maintain a happy state of mind is to be aware of how important that is, how good it feels, and that it’s your birthright to feel that way every single day. So, don’t let anyone knock you out of your state of alignment and connection with your spiritual self.

It’s worth being reminded of this powerful skill set frequently because when you do “get there”…life is so much easier, I guarantee it! Remember the acronym QTIP, and keep physical Q-Tips in your surroundings to remind you to Quit Taking Things Personally!

Affirmation Statement:

I HAVE TODAY to…understand that I am the only one responsible for the way I feel.

With Love,

Diane

Quote: “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

One more thing…in case you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out the “10 Days to Your Passion and Purpose” Program. For those of you looking to make some serious changes to your life, if you give me a dollar a day for ten days, I promise I can make that happen for you!

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3 Tips on How to Not Take Things So PersonalRead More

How to Get Out of Your Own Way in Life

May 31, 2018 // by Diane Forster

While interviewing Mac Williamson on a recent episode of “I HAVE TODAY with Diane Forster” on I HAVE TODAY tv, we talked a lot about growing up with fears and anxieties. Mac grew up in a large family with loving parents and everything was great. He wasn’t abused or mistreated in any way, and yet, he still struggled with terrible negative emotions.

The one thing that ended up pulling him out of it was running. For some reason when he was running, he felt invincible. He didn’t use any prescription drugs or other alternative medications. He used his own body. I think that’s so cool. If you’re interested in watching the episode, click here to see it.

When I was preparing for the show, I did a Google search of “how to get out of your own way.” Over a BILLION searches came up! Is that crazy or what?! That’s when I knew we had to talk about this.

Here are my top three strategies for getting out of your own way:

1. Hire A Coach

In my opinion, everyone needs a coach. I am a coach, but I have three coaches. Even the coaches need coaches. You can’t read the label from inside the bottle, people. A sure-fire way to continue to get in your own way is to do things on your own and try to “figure it out.” It doesn’t work. That’s why coaching and consulting is an $18 Billion industry. Stop struggling alone. Even Mac didn’t come to running on his own. Someone gave him that piece of advice. Maybe you want a therapist or support group or some other form of support, but please reach out to someone to help you see what you can’t see for yourself.

2. Listing To or Watch Something Motivational Every Day

It’s your mindset that’s blocking you. It’s a muscle that has to be worked every day, just like any other muscle. If not, it’ll wreak havoc on you. The fastest, easiest way to help keep your mindset positive and inspired is by watching and listening to motivational material. It helps you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

3. Stay Focused by Letting Go

Have you noticed that when you have too many commitments and things going on, that you feel overwhelmed? You’re trying to multi-task, so nothing is getting your undivided attention. Boy oh boy, do I know all about this! What the heck are we in such a rush for to do so much?
If you can learn to “let go” of things, being able to say “no” to more commitments and people and to trust that everything that is supposed to happen will happen in divine timing is a really solid way to stay focused and on track. Let go and let flow!

The only one that is truly ever in the way is you. Go within and ask yourself, “why am I allowing this to happen?” and “what can I do about it TODAY to help me?” The three items above are above great place to start.

Affirmation Statement:

I HAVE TODAY to…be clear, focused and confident!

With Love,
Diane

Quote: “You’ve gotta find a way to get out of your own way, so you can progress in life.” – Steve Carlton

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Re-Align Yourself When You’re “Off”

April 3, 2018 // by Diane Forster

Happiness is a choice. The more you can relax and let go to go with the flow, the more you align with the universe. When you learn this, the happier your life will be. That does not mean that you do not experience obstacles. Life happens. But, when life throws you a curveball, how do you react? You are left with a choice. You can settle for less than your best…or you can re-align yourself when you’re “off.”

It’s easy to feel good when you get what you want, but the truth is that you don’t get what you want unless you feel good. First, comes the feeling, then, come the desired outcome. When you feel good, that’s called alignment. Alignment between yourself and the universe turns you “on.” Your receptors (all of your six senses) become heightened, and the universal flow of abundance starts pouring in at a shockingly rapid rate! (It’s doing that all of the time…by the way. It just depends what your thoughts are focused on…happy thoughts or negative thoughts. Either way, you’re getting an abundance of it.)

So, how can you re-align a negative situation, a bad experience, or an “off” mood? Here are three ways:

Laughter

Ask Yourself “What’s Funny About This?” (Sean Stephenson taught me this.)

I’m not saying it’s easy, but it is simple! Laughter is restorative. It can restore our sense of balance and peace of mind, even in the face of life’s greatest challenges or everyday mishaps. In truth, anything or any situation is more tolerable when you introduce laughter. That is why laughter is one of life’s greatest gifts.

Laughter returns you to the present moment, and being in the present restores your sense of meaning. Laughing can free you from obsessing over the past or worrying about the future. Nobody is perfect, and we all know that life is imperfect. We can either grieve about our imperfections or laugh about them. If you can laugh off whatever life throws at you, you can re-align yourself when you’re “off.”

Kindness

Be Kind to Yourself and Hit Your Imaginary “Do Over” Button

Your harshest critic is you! Part of the human condition is confronting, overcoming, transforming that voice inside your head. (Take a moment to check in with yourself – what is that voice saying about you? Let it be kind.)

You have to get out of your own way to tap into your greatest potential. You have to change your self-talk to be grateful for who you are and who you want to become. You have to be kind to yourself in order to align with the universe ‘s viewpoint of you. When you find yourself in negative thoughts about self or self-talk, imagine yourself hitting an imaginary “Do Over” Button (sort of like Staple’s “Easy” Button) and say to yourself, “I’m stopping this right now and giving myself a ‘Do Over!’” The more you practice this, the faster you’ll start catching yourself when you’re off! Fun!

Speaking of Fun…

Fun

Walk Away from The Situation and Do Something Just for Fun!

The best advice I give my clients when they’re dealing with a frustrating situation or something they can’t seem to figure out is “Walk Away!” Stop struggling with it! You cannot solve anything in that state and expect to get a good result. It just doesn’t work. If you’re having a fight with someone (including an internal one with yourself) or you’re struggling to solve a problem, you’re having one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong…YOU’RE OFF!!! The BEST way to adjust it is to simply step away from it! Go for a walk, go take a nap, go for a drive, go do something, anything, that is more FUN! Shift your energy as soon as possible. Einstein said it best when he said, “You can’t solve a problem from the same state it was created in.” You’ve got to shift the energy, tune in and get your switch back in the “ON” position, and then be able to address what’s going on. And, sometimes the best way is to walk away first.

Every one of us gets out of alignment and needs adjustment. The key is creating awareness when it’s happening and implementing these practices to shift it from “OFF” to “ON” as soon as possible. When you do, the “OFF” times become less and less frequent!

Affirmation Statements:

LOVE IT!: I LOVE THE WAY I CAN CHANGE MY MOOD!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY AWARENESS AND PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE!

BRING IT!: I CAN EASILY CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF MY DAY ON A DIME!

With Love,

Diane

Quote:

“What the universe will manifest when you are in alignment with it is a lot more interesting than what you try to manifest.” Adyashanti

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Become Curious if You’re Not

March 14, 2018 // by Diane Forster

Last week I talked about how important it is to never stop learning. This week the focus is on curiosity.

Curiosity might have killed the cat, but it’s the pathway to a more enlightened, fulfilling, creative, exciting life. Let’s go back to our childhood when we were curious about everything. From the time we were babies, with our hands outstretched to touch anything, we had a never-ending level of curiosity about everything and everyone.

Yet, somewhere along the way, that level of curiosity started to diminish, and we began to lose interest in all the small miracles of life. We became victims of tunnel vision, sheltered into our own little world. Meanwhile, we were missing the splendor and wonder that’s all around us – in every single thing on this planet and in this universe. We’re missing out on so much!

The good news is we can decide that today is the day that we reignite our curiosity.

There are three benefits to lighting up our level of curiosity:

1. We experience deeper, richer relationships.

Try this exercise – focus all your attention on your partner. Spend the entire day asking them questions. Go deep. Make every interaction focused on your curiosity to learn more about them. Be completely present. That might seem challenging at first, but give it a try.

Then, watch how they respond to you. What’s more, watch how much more engaged you are and how much more interesting you find them, as you increase your knowledge of who they are. This process will deepen the connection, enrich the relationship, and grow the intimacy between the two of you…just by being more curious!

2. We open ourselves to learning more about the way everything works.

I don’t know about you, but…I never get in my car and think about what’s going on under the hood, or how the wheels spin, or the way the vehicle is put together. All I do is put the key in the ignition, and focus my attention on driving. Yet, isn’t it interesting and curious how cars work? It’s truly amazing when you think about it.

And, that’s just one example. Think about everything else that runs so perfectly and with such precision. Raise the level of your curiosity and reignite your fascination with how perfectly things run in your world. Most of us take that for granted and never give a second thought.

3. We start to feel young again.

Remember when we were young and we used to ask, “How come?” and “Why?” We asked those questions over and over and over again to our parents until we drove them half crazy. All we wanted were some answers!

Part of the reason why our curiosity got stifled was that, eventually, our parents would just give up. They would answer us with “because that’s just the way it is.” It wasn’t their fault, and truthfully, they probably didn’t have the answers anyway…because at some point in their lives, they had lost their level of curiosity.

So, what if we bring back that level of child-like curiosity? Start again by asking, “How come?” and “Why?” How fun!

Curiosity opens us to youthfulness in our hearts and our minds. Let’s bring more of that back into our lives.

Affirmation Statements:

LOVE IT!: I LOVE HOW CURIOUS I AM ABOUT LIFE!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY CURIOSITY AND CHILD-LIKE WONDER!

BRING IT!: CURIOSITY KEEPS MY HEART AND MIND YOUNG, ACTIVE, AND ALIVE!

With Love,

Diane

Quote: “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” – Albert Einstein

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