America’s Mindset Coach. Intentional living expert.

How to Give Yourself Permission to be Happy

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Diane-Forster-Give-Yourself-Permission-to-Be-HappyI was interviewing Forbes Riley for the World Manifestation Summit on her definition of manifest and how the power of manifestation has contributed to Forbes’ massive success.  She told me that the reason for her success is by going after whatever she wanted and never asking anybody for permission to do anything.  Now, that is powerful.  I know there have been times in my life where I felt like I needed permission to do something that I thought would make me happy.  Fortunately, those days are long behind me.

What about you?  Do you seek other people’s approval and blessing before you make any decisions?  Now, I’m not talking about ‘discussing’ things with your spouse or partner.  I’m talking about you wanting to say, “yes” to something, but someone else tells you, “no.”  So, you don’t do something based on what someone else’s opinion is, which leaves you feeling bad.

No one is going to give you permission to live your life!

You need to grant it to yourself!  Here are three reasons why:

No one else is walking in your footsteps

Whatever the decision is…to marry someone, to change jobs, to have children, to leave a relationship, to go back to school, to convert religions, to quit something…YOU are the one that decides.  This is YOUR life!  Therefore, the opinions of others come from their perspective, not yours.  It’s not their fault…they only know what they know.  They can’t truly know what will make YOU happy.

The only opinion I ever listen to is from someone who has done exactly what I want to do and has paved the way and learned the lessons.  As Greg Reid has stated, “Successful people seek counsel, where the failures listen to opinion.”  If someone hasn’t done what you want to do, then their opinion is based on ignorance.  Why would you need to seek their permission or approval to do something they haven’t done?

Don’t put yourself in a position to say ”I should have”

“Shoulda, coulda, woulda” is probably one of the worst expressions ever uttered.  Nobody ever wants to feel like that!  Regrets that leave you feeling like this and saying those words are the result of you doing something to please someone else instead of doing what was right for you.  In my book, “I Have Today:  Find Your Passion, Purpose & Smile…Finally!” I have a chapter on “Being Selfish in a Really Good Way.”  Being selfish is good!  What’s bad is doing, or NOT doing, something you really wanted that you may regret later.

It helps to build your confidence

Strong decision-making skills will bring you more of what you want in life much quicker than anything else!  But, it takes confidence to be decisive.  When you procrastinate or go back and forth on decisions, it’s a sign of low self-confidence.  So many people are afraid to make a “mistake.”  Here’s the reality…mistakes will happen!  Nothing and no one is perfect!  We are not supposed to be!  The only way to learn is to try and do.  The more you try and do, the more you learn, then the better your decision-making skills become, which leads to greater levels of self-confidence!  Soon, you won’t even consider asking another person for permission to do anything.  You’ll get so good at it!

Give yourself permission to live your life on your terms.  Only you know what makes you happy.  Go for it…permission granted!

Affirmation Statements:

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE BEING IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE!

THANK IT!:  I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR MY DECISION-MAKING ABILITIES!

BRING IT!:  I GRANT MYSELF PERMISSION TO DO WHATEVER I FEEL CALLED TO DO!

With Love,

Diane

Quote:  “Give yourself permission to live a big life.  Step into who you are meant to be.  Stop playing small.  You’re meant for great things.” – Unknown

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Fair is Fair: 3 Lessons I Learned from my Dad

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When I wrote about the Lessons I Learned from my Mom before her passing, I wrote it on the day that is now what I call my “Second Birthday.” It was the day that marked me being alive longer than my mom lived. Your responses to me were so overwhelming! They were so heart-felt and appreciated. Thank you for that outpouring of love and support. My hope is that you take in those three lessons I learned from my mom into your hearts and your life. It’s only right and fair that I share some of the amazing gifts I have received and lessons I learned from my dad, who is alive, well and thriving, thank goodness! I still get to learn from him.

While my mom taught me so much about forgiveness, gratitude and fun, my dad taught me so many other traits that have led me to where I am today. Let me share three of them with you.

Lesson 1: Don’t Ever Be Afraid to Make a Change

My father had over 50 jobs in his lifetime! 51 to be exact! Nine of his jobs were before the ripe old age of 18, prior to entering the Navy for 5 years. He did not sit around and wait for things to be handed to him, because they weren’t coming. He went out and hustled to make money and to survive. I can remember a time when I was very young I don’t recall seeing much of him at all. That is because he was working three jobs to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. He did whatever he had to do and made the changes necessary to keep going. We moved around a lot because of his desire to create a better life for us. He wasn’t afraid to take risks and make changes, and I’ll always be grateful for that.

I learned to be fearless and take risks from my Dad.

Lesson 2: Accept Love that is Expressed to You No Matter What the Form

My father’s father (my grandfather) died when my father was a very young boy. He was the youngest by 9 years and had two older sisters. His only real “male” role models were his brothers-in-law. They were not demonstrative men when it came to expressing emotions. Therefore, my father grew up thinking that expressing the words “I Love You” was a sign of weakness. He didn’t begin saying those words to me until I was 24 years old. (I write about the powerful, beautiful moment in my book, “I Have Today: Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile…Finally!”

Once he started saying those words, he has never stopped. However, when we were young, my father showed his “love” in other ways. He would bring home gifts, or candy, for us. He would spend time with us singing into a recorder, and other special moments like that. Despite the pleas to not be disappointed because there was going to be “less” under the Christmas Tree that year, there was always PLENTY under the tree. I never once felt that I wasn’t loved or that I needed more. He expressed love in HIS way, and I knew how much he loved me… always.

I learned how to accept people just as they are and accept love in all forms from my Dad.

Lesson 3: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

My dad is a “doer.” He lives his life so big and loud. He loves his well-deserved retirement and travels all over the world. He has been taking a weekly dance class for almost a decade. He volunteered at the airport at the information desk. He and his girlfriend go out all the time… happy hour, movies, shows, dinners, time with friends. He never sits still for long. He lives his life “In Action” doing what he loves. He makes things happen. So many people comment to me, “Your Dad is living quite the life!” Yes, he is! We all should be living “Quite the Life!” He made it that way. He’s not “wealthy” but he is so rich being in love with life! You can’t put a value or price tag on that.

I learned to live my life “In Action” from my Dad.

Isn’t it nice that I can pay homage to my Dad while he is still alive!?! What about your parents… are they still living? What lessons have you learned from them? What would it mean for them to read or hear something like this from you? What a gift!!! I’d love to know what lessons you learned. Please comment and share.

Our “teachers” are everywhere, but our two most powerful teachers are the ones that gave us life. Look to them and remind yourself of the “gifts” you received from them… even the painful lessons. They teach us so much, too! You are who you are today because of all of it… no right or wrong, no good or bad… just perfect imperfection. How wonderful!

LOVE IT!: I LOVE MY DAD FOR ALL OF HIS STRENGTH AND GUIDANCE!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE LESSONS MY DAD TAUGHT ME!

BRING IT!: I MOVE FEARLESSLY IN MY LIFE BECAUSE OF MY DAD’S GUIDANCE AND SUPPORT!

Quote: “Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad.” – Anne Geddes

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15,509 Days… That’s Not Enough! Top 3 Lessons I Learned from my Mom

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Top 3 Lessons I Learned from my Mom

Today is a very special day in my life. It marks the 15,509th day of my life. Today is the number of days that my mother lived. Today marks the cross-over point where I am now alive longer than my mother lived. Oh, she died so young! Today, I feel more young and alive than I have ever felt, so I can’t imagine what she must have been feeling as she crossed over. Such a short life… so much more to do and to share.  So, today, I dedicate my writing to my sweet, wonderful mom, who lived such a short time, but taught me so much in her brief time here on earth.

Top 3 Lessons I Learned from my Mom

This blog is devoted to my mom. I want to share with you the top three lessons I learned from her.

Lesson 1: Be Forgiving

My mother had the kindest, sweetest, most open heart of anyone I’ve ever known. It’s no wonder she left this earthly plain as early as she did. I suppose heaven needed her angelic gifts. My mom would accept anyone into her home for as long as they needed a place to stay. She would cook for them, take care of them, and love them unconditionally. Despite the concerns of those around her fearing she was being taken for granted, my mother would dole as much love and affection she had to those who needed her love and support.

I learned to be forgiving and accepting from my mother.

Lesson 2: Be Gracious

My mother was so appreciative of any and all gifts bestowed upon her. She took nothing for granted. She exuded class and style with every movement and gesture from another. My mother never made anyone ever feel “less than” or not worthy of her time, her energy or their offerings. She was the epitome of grace and gratitude. I was in awe of her.

I learned gratitude and appreciation from my mother.

Lesson 3: Be Fun

My mother had a fun, witty, effortless humor about her. She found delight in the simple and casual moments. She had a deep, hardy laugh and it seeped deep into you, leaving you feeling light and loving. I always felt better just being in her presence… feeling her light-heartedness and her extraordinary gift to put everyone at ease. I miss her laughter, and I miss her light.

I learned how to find the fun in ordinary moments from my mother.

 

It’s been over 21 years since her passing, and I still miss her so. I wish I could see her. I wish I could share my stories and my life with her, and I wish I could see her growth from her own journey. But, being as intuitive and connected to the pure positive energy that we all are, I can feel her. I still have a relationship with her. It just looks different and feels different than it would if she were still alive. And, while I’m grateful for her “whispers” and guidance, a hug from her sure would feel nice.

I pray to you, I hear you, I love you… always. Thank you for your love and your life lessons. Forever, your girl.

 

LOVE IT: I LOVE THE WOMAN I BECAME BECAUSE OF MY MOTHER’S GUIDANCE.

THANK IT!: I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE EXPERIENCED THE LOVE OF MY MOTHER.

BRING IT!: I CARRY MY MOTHER IN MY HEART AND TEACH MY CHILDREN WHAT SHE TAUGHT ME.

 

Life is so precious… don’t waste it. Not a single day! Shout “I HAVE TODAY to love my life!” Love all the good, the bad, the gifts, the grace, the lessons and most of all, the laughter.

PS: This is blog post #54. Her birthday was 5/4. Coincidence… I think not! Oh, how I love the way the universe works!

 

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Plan for the Future, but Live for Today!

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Do you spend too much of your time thinking about the future? Do you worry about not having enough money, getting sick, something bad happening, losing your home, not finding true love? Are any of these fears, or something like them, part of your daily life? If so, it means you’re spending too much time living in your future and you need to live for TODAY.

Our company is called “I HAVE TODAY.” Our focus is on living intentionally, in the present moment, feeling more joy, love and fulfillment in every area of our lives, every day of our lives. While we focus our attention on present day living, we also need to plan for our future. How do we balance the two so that we are not spending too much time focused on the unknown of our future yet staying present and focused on living in our “now?”

Let’s highlight three important areas to balance: Health, Love, Money

Health

Don’t spend ANY time worrying about getting sick! Spend ALL your time THINKING healthy thoughts! With each new day, focus on good-feeling thoughts. Even if you are sick, focus ALL the energy on feeling well. Say things to yourself like, “I get healthier and stronger every single day,” “I am a powerful healer and I can make myself feel well,” and “my body is a well-oiled machine that knows how to repair itself!”

Of course, you need to make healthy lifestyle choices as well. Drink a lot of water TODAY, make healthier food choices TODAY, and move your body TODAY. By keeping the mindset focused on healthy, healing thoughts and taking daily action steps towards health, you are living in your present and preparing for the future.

Love

If you’re single and looking for love, the way to bring in your partner is to IMAGINE he/she is already in your life! Visualize that person with you all the time…in bed, in the shower, at the restaurant with you, in the grocery store with you, in the car with you…everywhere. Practice the art of “being” in a relationship BEFORE you’re in one! This practice will magnetically attract your partner right to you! By doing this in your “now” you are creating your future!!!

If you are in a relationship, the way to create long-lasting love is to focus on the FEELING of falling in love every day! Begin the practice of saying to yourself, “I Have Today to Fall in Love with (fill in the blank) ALL OVER AGAIN!” Then, spend a few minutes running down the list in your mind of all the things you love about that person. THAT is the way you keep your love alive and carry it into the future! If you don’t “feed” your love, it will starve and eventually die. Therefore, by putting in this practice each day in your “now” you’re setting up the future to be in love for a very long time.

Money

I wish I could wave a magic wand over the entire world and get rid of the fears and worries related to money. It’s just energy…like everything else…and if we focus our thoughts ONLY on the good, money flows to us so easily! The solution for keeping money flowing into your life today and into your future is GRATITUDE. That sounds so simple, but if you bless and feel grateful for every dollar you have and every dollar you spend, more dollars come into your life! Whether you’re paying your electric bill or buying a new outfit, BLESS that action! Allow yourself to pause for a moment and realize what that money is doing…it’s keeping the lights and heat on and it’s keeping you clothed and warm. If you don’t do this and you focus on “scarcity” thinking, you will keep the flow of money out of your life. Instead, by practicing gratitude for the money in your “now” you create a magnetic force for MORE money to flow into your future! It’s a beautiful thing!

Here’s the deal…NO excuses! You can talk yourself out of anything and you can argue for your limiting beliefs, but that does not serve you! No one is going to do this for you…YOU must do it! By implementing these three practices into your life NOW, you’re setting yourself up for a successful future. Isn’t it worth doing?

 

LOVE IT!: I AM EXACTLY WHERE I’M SUPPOSED TO BE AND I LOVE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE GIFTS IN MY LIFE NOW AND IN MY FUTURE!

BRING IT!: I HAVE THE POWER TO BE HAPPY NOW AND ALWAYS!

 

 

Quote: “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

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Setting Intentions and Outcomes

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Manifesting, outcomes and setting intentions “shows up” in every area of our life.  Once we realize that, we can then figure out how to set powerful intentions all day long to reach our desired outcomes in EVERY SITUATION.

Creating manifestations is so much FUN!  We all have the power to deliberately create in our lives.  When I’m working with clients one on one, I’m speaking, or I’m hosting my webinars, I do so much work around living intentionally and the art of manifestation.  To do that, we need to first know our desired outcome in every situation.  How can we possibly know where we are going if we don’t create an outcome and set the intentions to get there?  We need to know this because we don’t get to the end (our goal) from the same state that we started.  We need a strategy!

We should be focused on outcomes and setting intentions in everything we do in our day.  When we get out of bed what do we do first, when we brush our teeth, when we eat breakfast, do we watch the news or read the newspaper?  When we get to work, what do we plan to accomplish on that day, that week, that month, that quarter, that year?  What about diet and exercise?  What are your desired weight and fitness goals?  We should be thinking about our intentions to achieve our outcomes all day long!

This sounds like a lot of planning, doesn’t it?  The truth is, it is not complicated at all.  It’s like training a muscle to work for you.  It only feels strange when you first start doing it.  Once you create the habit, it becomes second nature.

The meaning of “intention” is purpose.  It is an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.   The “outcome” is the end result, or consequence.   

Our lives all have meaning and purpose.  One of our purposes is to live the best life we can possibly live.  With our limited time here in the human experience, I believe in “squeezing the juice out of each day.”  That means that every second I’m alive counts.  Therefore, I want everything I do to be with purpose, intention, and to have a desired outcome.

Here are three EASY steps to achieve any outcome.  I say “easy” because I believe that life is supposed to be easy.  The tricky part is in following through.  But, once you read how simple this is to do, it is my firm belief that you will be manifesting and creating your desired outcomes like crazy!  At least, that is my hope for you!

Think About What You Want

To figure out the outcome, you HAVE to know what you want first and write it down!  Put it in your journal or a special notebook titled “My Dream Life” or, …I love this…“I Get Everything I Want!”  Some examples:

  • To be in love.
  • To be a millionaire.
  • To travel the world.
  • To have financial freedom.
  • To be a mom.
  • To be in a job you love.
  • To get along with your spouse, kids, parents, etc.
  • To have more fun!
  • To be more organized.
  • To be less stressed.
  • To be more present in your life.

Then, spend some time thinking about and writing WHY you want it…NOT how you are going to get it.  Just focus on the WHY.  (It’ll make me feel good; I’ll have so much fun; it makes me happy; I love doing things like that; I get so much satisfaction, etc.)  The point here is to focus on the way it makes you FEEL.  If you follow along any of my work or teachings, then you know that everything we ever want or desire is because we think it will make us FEEL BETTER.  This is what Abraham Hicks talks about all the time. 

Figure Out Where You Are

When you decide that you want a certain outcome, it’s because you are not happy with your current condition or circumstances.  In order to get from point A to point B, you need to figure out where you are in relation to what you want.  The key here is to PUT A “BY WHEN” DATE NEXT TO EACH OUTCOME.

Here are some examples: 

  • I want to weigh 10 pounds less in 60 days from now. 
  • I will be in a committed relationship by the end of this summer.
  • I will be saving an extra $500/month starting with my next paycheck.
  • I will be in a new job by the end of this year.
  • I will get out of this relationship and be independent and on my own by October 1.
  • I will write my book in the next 90 days.
  • We will go to a new country on vacation for the holidays this year.
  • If you don’t put a goal date down, it will never get done!  Trust me, you NEED that end goal date in mind! 

Reverse-engineer Your Strategy

I love this expression.  I heard Gary Vaynerchuk say it in a video, and I loved it.  This guy is the bomb.  Love, love, love him.  He is no BS, he’s authentically himself, and he is always, always, always in action.  If you want to know more about him, here’s a link to his site:

If you did my “30 Day Challenge On How To Have a Better TODAY” then you know I asked you to reverse-engineer an unplanned vacation on your calendar.  It’s the same concept here, but now I want you to do this for all of the outcomes you want to achieve.  The weight loss, the new job, falling in love, saving money.  BREAK IT DOWN backwards from your deadline until TODAY!  If it’s 10 pounds in two months, that’s a pound a week.  If it’s $500 per month more in savings, that breaks down to $16.67 per day.  Get out the calculator, do some core math, and figure it out!  Create the strategies.  When you break out it this simplistically, you will see how EASY it is to achieve your outcomes!  Then, and only then, can you know your daily intentions!  Don’t you just love this?!?

Here is a BONUS STRATEGY:

WRITE THIS ON POST-IT NOTES AND PUT THEM ALL OVER THIS WEEK:

MY INTENTIONS MOVE ME TO MY OUTCOMES!

I am a big believer in mantras and affirmations.  So, if this helps you remember every day, then please use it!

This whole process is all about Intentional Living.  If you take the time to figure out what you want and why, then you figure out where you are, then you reverse-engineer your strategy, imagine the FOCUS and CLARITY you are going to be feeling every day!  You will spend so much of your time feeling like your life is on track, you know what you want and where you’re going, and you know exactly how you’ll get there.  Because of all of that, you will be FEELING SO GOOD and so PROUD OF YOURSELF!

Here’s the MAGICAL part…when we feel so good anyway, we don’t even NEED the manifestation to come to us, or the outcome, etc.  And THAT is the moment when it shows up!  Awesome!  Awesome!  Awesome!  Have fun with this!  It’s your life, enjoy the ride!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!::  I LOVE SETTING INTENTIONS FOCUSED ON MY DAILY OUTCOMES!

THANK IT!:  I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THE CLARITY OF MY FOCUS AND GOALS!

BRING IT!:    I GET EVERYTHING I WANT BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO MANIFEST!

 

Quote:  “If you don’t have a strategy for your life, how can it improve?”  – Diane Forster

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Forgiveness is SO Freeing! 3 Easy Steps to Forgiving

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The benefits of forgiveness will affect you emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.  There are so many articles written and research on the health benefits of forgiveness because it is such a fascinating topic.  Some of the benefits are decreased anger and illnesses, increased hope, spiritual connection, and overall well-being, including living a longer, happier life!  I believe that first comes love, then comes forgiveness.

We’ve all been hurt before, and yes, we’ve all hurt someone before.  I know for me, learning how to forgive and let go was certainly a process.  When we hold on to anger and resentment from a betrayal, it is like a permission slip to stay stuck where we are.  When we talk about what happened…who did us wrong, how damaging it was…it allows others to take pity on us.  We feel validated.  We feel like we are right, while the other person is wrong.  There is a benefit we get from it.

Here’s the thing…that so-called “benefit” is nothing more than a detriment to ourselves and our lives.  Holding on to that pain is weighing us down like a ton of bricks.  So, until we figure out how to let it go, we can’t truly move on with our lives completely and fully.  Here are some of the effects that being unwilling to forgive may be having on your life:

  • You bring anger, bitterness and resentment into every relationship and experience.
  • You spend more time living in the past, being unable to fully enjoy the present moment.
  • Your feelings will manifest into diseases.
  • You will miss out on all the richness and wonderment that your life has to offer.

When I was going through my personal transformation, forgiveness was one of the first things I started with.  I began with forgiving myself.  We are so hard on ourselves, and even though I had plenty of reason to point the finger at my ex, I was the hardest on myself.  If we are being truly honest with ourselves, the person we blame first is us.  I did.  I asked myself, “Why would I allow myself to live like this?  Why would I let myself be treated this way?  Why was I okay with living in such an unfulfilling relationship?”  And so on.  It was these questions that sent me on a quest to figure out how to learn how to forgive in a way that was easy, and most importantly, permanent.


Let’s look at the 3 Steps to Easily and Permanently Forgive Anyone of Anything:

Follow the Three Levels of Forgiveness

In my book, “I Have Today…Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile…Finally!”…I talk about the Three Levels of Forgiveness that I’ve created.  The first level is to forgive yourself.  As I’ve stated above, it seems to always come down to us.  Since perception is projection, we may be looking to point the finger at another for something that happened, but that is the area within ourselves that needs forgiving.  That is why forgiveness of SELF first is SO important!  The second level is to forgive the other person.  That is a difficult pill for people to swallow, but what we need to understand is that we are not hurting them by blaming them and holding on to it.  We are only hurting OURSELVES.  By forgiving the other person, we do not negate the incident.  Instead, we release the choke hold of the pain it’s creating within us.  We MUST forgive them in order to move on.  We MUST look at them the way God looks at them.  In His eyes, we are all forgiven.  The third step is to forgive yourself AGAIN.  What I mean by that is at some point, this event will pop back into your mind.  Either it gets brought back up, or you’re reminded of it in some way, but it WILL rear its ugly head again.  That is the moment you stop it in its tracks.  Go back to basecamp and start with forgiveness of SELF again.  You’ve already lived through the pain before…the last thing you want is to feel it again!  Release and let it go.

Chant “I FORGIVE YOU”

 

I created a video called the “I FORGIVE YOU CHANT.” PLEASE USE THIS!  It is a VERY effective tool for forgiveness.  When you chant the words “I FORGIVE YOU” over and over again, you send forgiveness energy to every one of the trillions of cells in your body, which is so HEALING!  You also emit that forgiving energy out into the universe, which has a ripple effect on everyone and everything.  It’s SO powerful!  When I started practicing this, so many emotions came up for me.  Tears were streaming down my face.  It was so cleansing and cathartic.  I couldn’t get over how light and free I felt afterwards.  This is what I mean when I say forgiveness is so freeing.  I highly encourage you to try this powerful process.

Stop Thinking and Talking About It!

Whatever happened to you is in your PAST.  The only one keeping it alive is YOU!  The thoughts you have and the words you speak about it will keep the pain real for you.  I’m not suggesting you haven’t been hurt and don’t have the right to feel pain from painful experiences.  We all do.  However, the difference between someone who can’t seem to let go of it and someone who’s moved on is in their thoughts and their words associated with it.  For instance, I could talk about what happened with my ex and get sympathy from whomever I’m sharing it with.  But, that keeps me living in the past.  I have forgiven him, I have forgiven me, and I have moved on.  Since I was able to do that, I opened myself up to the extraordinary life I am now living.  Everything I am doing and every single blessing in my life is a result of my forgiveness of self and others.  I don’t ever speak ill of him, and I genuinely wish him well.  Now, that is POWER!  Feeling anything less than that only hurts ME.  It does not hurt him.

If you implement these three steps, I promise you, you will now have the tools you need to easily and permanently learn how to forgive.  How exciting would it be to be able to just let go?!?  I can tell you, being able to forgive everyone has changed me in such a profound way.

We can’t change the events that occur in our lives.  But, we can change our ASSOCIATION to the events, thereby changing our EMOTIONS attached to them!  What a huge A-HA!!!

When I first started to REALLY work on this, I looked within to where I needed to love myself more.  Remember, it’s never about the other person.  It’s about our interpretation.  It is also a DECISION.  I write about CHOICE and DECISION a lot because it is always within our power to decide how we want to FEEL about anything!

DECIDE to forgive YOU, the other person, or the events that occurred.  Come out of it on the other side stronger, more confident, braver, and focus on the life IN FRONT OF YOU, not behind you!  Our cars have large windshields and tiny rear-view mirrors.  They represent a metaphor for our lives.  The small rear-view mirror is simply a tool to look back on occasionally as a reference point.  Don’t focus or linger there.  Focus on the expansiveness that is ahead of you!  That is what’s possible.  That is what is exciting!  That is why forgiveness is SO FREEING!!!

 

LOVE IT!:    I AM FORGIVING!

THANK IT!:    I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY POWER TO FORGIVE!

BRING IT!:    I KNOW HOW FREEING IT IS TO FORGIVE!

 

Quote:   “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgiveness is SO Freeing! 3 Easy Steps to ForgivingRead More

Only 4% of Women Think They Are Beautiful …Four Steps to Change That!

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The brand Dove put out an incredible piece awhile back about women in five cities around the world.  They were given two doorways to choose to pass through…the “Beautiful” doorway or the “Average” doorway.  Guess which doorway most of the women chose.  I’ll post the link to it at the end of the blog so you can see it if you haven’t.  It’s worth the watch.  Enlightening. 

It’s so heartbreaking to think that only 4% of women think they are beautiful.  4%…Really?  This is dedicated to the other 96% of women out there.  My intention is that by the end of this, you’ll see yourself in a new light.  A new, beautiful light.  The light that reflects on your incredible beauty.

What is the definition of beautiful anyway?  Well, it means “pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.”  It also means “possessing the qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind.”    Based on those two definitions, I believe beauty is a CHOICE.  If you sense it and you think it, then aren’t you?  Would it matter what the rest of the world thought?  No.  It would only matter what others thought IF YOU LET IT. 

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are bombarded by the media with messages that subliminally make us believe we are not good enough.  Buy this lipstick, wear these Spanx (no offense, Sara Blakely, I’m a huge fan!), dye your hair, don’t eat this, eat that, and on and on.

When we do these things, the reason we do it needs to be for one reason, and one reason only.  Because it makes us feel good about ourselves.  We cannot and should not be doing them for anyone else.  Now, I’m not saying that your man won’t benefit from your beautiful new haircut and your hot sexy dress.  Hopefully, he’s the type of man to notice that level of detail.  However, the reason you do it is for YOU.  When we pamper ourselves, love ourselves, do things that make us feel good, we light up!  We just FEEL better, plain and simple. 

Yet, the real issue is that we women tend to always COMPARE ourselves to other women.  She’s got nicer hair than I do, her body is in better shape, she has porcelain skin, her smile is radiant. 

I did an experiment a while back, shortly after my divorce and in the midst of my self-awakening and personal development.  Every time I saw myself in the mirror, whether actively looking or just walking by, I stopped for a second and said “I am GORGEOUS!”  I did this for about two weeks.  Then, I attended a networking event, and I was stunned at the number of people who approached me and referred to me as “GORGEOUS!”  Not pretty, not looking great, not even beautiful.  They used the word I used.  Now, if that’s not powerful proof that we are what we say we are, then I don’t know what is!  It was just an experiment, but what it did for me was lift my spirits, it gave me power and confidence, and it proved to me that the only opinion of myself that truly matters is my own!    Because the way I see myself is a mirror reflection of the way others will see me.  It’s in the energy I am emitting.  I’m passing it along telepathically.  Isn’t that fascinating!?! 

Well, guess what…so are YOU!  What is the program about yourself that’s running through your mind and running your life?  Not beautiful enough?  YOU ARE, YOU ARE, YOU ARE!  I can scream it from the mountaintop, but it will not matter!  It will only matter when YOU BELIEVE IT!  So, I encourage you to please believe it.  Now, I’m going to give you some steps to make that happen.


Step 1

Grab a handheld mirror or stand in front of a mirror.  Look deep into your eyes.  Stare into the opposite eye of your dominant hand.  Keep staring, for at least a minute.  Maybe two or three.  As you’re doing that, do Louise Hay’s work of saying “I Love You, (add your name), I really, really love you.”  As you’re doing this, you will start to notice that your edges start to fade way.  You can literally see yourself expand and see your soul.  It’s so powerful!  THAT is who you are…not just the physical form that you look at every day.  You will be connecting with your BEAUTIFUL Soul!  Enjoy this, and do it every day, if possible.  You’ll begin to feel a shift in you, and you will definitely start experiencing your inner perfection and beauty.

Step 2

Pick a word to describe yourself, like I did.  Feel free to use “GORGEOUS.”  It’s a good one!  But, pick a word that you would like to be referred to as.  Stunning, Radiant, Pretty, Gorgeous, Sexy, Dynamic, and of course, Beautiful, are all great ones!  Then, do what I did…take every opportunity to call yourself by that word every single time you are in front of a mirror.  Then, pay attention, because people WILL start referring to you that way.  It’s so magnetic!

Step 3

For 30 days, abstain from all media related to beauty, or any topic that you KNOW makes you feel bad about yourself.  Do not read any fashion magazines, blogs, watch anything on the internet or TV.  No celebrity gossip.  Nothing.  It’s only one month, you can do it!  Listen, I abstained from meat for 30 days, just to see if I could do it.  Here I am, 15 years later, and I still no longer eat meat.  You don’t know what’s possible until you try.  I’m not suggesting you make it a permanent change.  I’m only asking that you try this experiment and see what starts to happen to you in regards to the way your feel about yourself.  It’s SO worth the effort.

Step 4

This is probably the most important step of all.  I want you to write down a list of ALL the things that you LOVE about yourself.  (We referenced doing this in our “Get Your Sexy Back Blog and Webinar,” but this time you’ll be writing it down and going deeper with it.)  Write down every little detail, like, I love the curve from my waistline to my hipbones, I love the feel of the back of my neck, I like my knees, I like my eyes, I like the way I look when I smile, I love the arch of my eyebrows.  You get the picture…write down EVERYTHING.  Make the list as long as possible.  You can keep this in your journal, or you can keep it near one of the mirrors you spend time in front of every day.  That could be your make-up mirror or your bathroom mirror, but place it somewhere that will keep it top-of-mind for you.  When you see it, stop for a minute and read it.  Remind yourself DAILY about how much you love about yourself.  When you do that on a regular basis, what you love about yourself will expand.  It’s the Law of Attraction.  And it works…every single time!  That’s why it’s called “Law.”

Well…I hope you’re excited about these four steps, and I hope I made good on my intention at the start of this blog…that you see yourself in a new light.  Or, at the very least, the possibilities.

Watch the “DOVE” video, and think about yourself when you watch these women struggle with something that is truly our birthright…our unique, exquisite beauty!  See yourself in all of them, and make the decision that YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!

Watch the Webinar!

Quote:  “Beauty is when you can appreciate yourself.  When you love yourself, that’s when you’re most beautiful.”  – Zoe Kravitz

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Bitter Sweetness or Good Riddance: 5 “Opportunities” for Connection in The New Year

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As the holidays are here and the year comes to an end, I wanted to take a moment with you to let you know that I appreciate YOU!  I appreciate you being a part of my world, my circle, my friend, my family, my business partner, in my life in general!

My wish is that this year for you has had its share of way more ups than downs, that you’ve experienced more laughter than tears, that your money moved more up than down, that your heart was filled with more love and joy than sadness and sorrow, and that you bid this year farewell with a bitter sweetness instead of a good-riddance attitude.

I hope we connect more in the coming year.  If we haven’t connected at all this year, my apologies.  I’m going to make it a priority to connect with more people more often.  Our connections mean so much to me!

Here is a list of my “opportunities” for the upcoming year (I don’t like to use the word resolution…too negative…it implies that something is wrong, and there ain’t nothing wrong with any of us!).  I want us to stay more connected now and moving forward!  As an Intentional Living Expert, I know the importance of stating them clearly.  So, here they are:

I’ll  Reach Out to at Least 5 People Per Day 

I meet new people almost every single day!  I will be better about connecting with them, reaching out to existing relationships I have, and I’ll make more of an effort to be the “one who reaches out first.”

I’ll Ask Myself Everyday “Who Can I Help Today?” 

When we focus on being in service to others and less in neediness for ourselves, magic happens!  It feels amazing to help another person.  And then Law of Attraction is always at play, so we can’t help but be the beneficiary of help from another.

I’ll Volunteer More

I promise myself to do more, give more, create more time for giving back with my TIME, not just my WALLET.

I’ll Provide More Products and Services for My Clients and Fans

I’ve already started this one.  I created a “30 Day Challenge on How to Have a Better TODAY”, which is launching on the 1st of January…perfect timing, right?!?  This is all about YOU!  It’s free, it’s fun, and it will help you create awareness in the areas of your life that you’d like to improve upon.  (I’ll put a link down below to sign up if you’re interested.)

I’ll Do One Massively Large, Wildly Fun, Incredibly Life-changing Event This Year!

OK, I wrote it.  I said it.  Now, I’m committed to doing it!  That’s the way this universe works!  Once it’s in writing, then you have to make it happen.  Universal forces have already started conspiring on all the people, places, circumstances for it to come together.  So, now it’s up to me to make it happen!  (No worries…I’m going to do it, and it’s going to be AMAZING!!!)

There you have it…my five “opportunities” for next year that I will be working towards.  If any of these resonate with you, please feel free to print this list and adapt them for yourself.

To get the momentum going for The Best Year of Your Life, I created a FREE, fun 30 Day Challenge on How to Have a Better TODAY.  It’s beginning at the beginning…of the year, that is.  So, sign up for it!  Every day for 30 days, you’ll get a 2-3 minute video of me with the Challenge of the Day.  That’s it!  Just follow along, and have some FUN!  At the end of the 30 days, you are going to notice the subtle differences in you, your awareness, and how you respond to life.  You’ll start living each day intentionally, with more love, joy and fulfillment than ever before!  I’m so excited for you!!!  Here’s the link:  .

Happy New Year!  I wish you all the blessings in the world, and I look forward to us connecting more in the coming year!!!

Quote:  Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bitter Sweetness or Good Riddance: 5 “Opportunities” for Connection in The New YearRead More

I Couldn’t Wake Up Another Day Feeling So Alone

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It was Saturday, June 25, 2011.  It started out as a typical weekend afternoon for us.  Errands, sports, carpooling, going over to some friends’ house for a bar-b-que.  Our lives were completely centered around the kids and their lives and activities.  We barely even looked at each other anymore.  Life was on autopilot.  We looked like the perfect happy family to the outside world.  Inside, I was imploding.  My soul and spirit were chipping away more and more each day. 

After the fighting started in the car on the way home, then continued when we entered the house, I went into my bathroom and locked the door…

I couldn’t take it anymore.  I had not received love and support from my ex in years!  I felt so alone and isolated.  It was so EMOTIONALLY DEBILITATING.  I said to myself, “I can’t wake up another day feeling THIS ALONE!”

The pain was so palpable.  I had two full bottles of prescription pills in my hand.  Apparently, God had other plans for me.  I talk about it here in the video, but I also write all about what happened that night in the bathroom in my book, and I tell the story in the I Have Today System. 

So many people hear my story and are so shocked that it’s ME telling it!  They can’t believe someone as strong and smart and so “together” could have gotten to that point.  Trust me, some days it’s hard for even me to believe.  What I’ve discovered is this… no one is immune to getting to a point where they feel they have no way out.  We are paralyzed by FEAR!  We worry what others will think or say about us.  We worry that we’ll appear “weak” if we actually let the cat out of the bag and shout “I’m So Unhappy!  I want to FEEL GOOD, and FEEL LOVED, and be EXCITED by my life!”  We put on brave faces and smile at everyone, we give the generic answer that we’re “fine” or “great” when people ask how we’re doing…without getting into any real depth of emotional conversation.  That’s an incredibly lonely place to be.  So, it doesn’t matter who you are, how you were raised, what your situation is, ANYONE can get to the point where I was on that day.

I thank God constantly for his intervention in the bathroom that night, and I am following his instructions down to the letter!  That moment was the wake-up call I so desperately needed to take ACTION to CHANGE MY LIFE!  That moment was a cherished GIFT for me.  Because of that night, I went on a journey to discover ME, and what a rewarding trip it was!   I now help so many others who feel as isolated and alone as I did, and I help empower them.  I shine the light on their strengths, their gifts and their light.  I am living my life on PURPOSE, and it feels so GOOD!

When I look back at that time of my life, I realize that I NEEDED to experience that.  How else could I share my SUCCESS Story if I didn’t experience the deepest, darkest despair first?  I bless that moment. 

Oh, and I NEVER wake up feeling alone…EVER!  Another cherished GIFT.

 

Quote:  At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one’s lost self. – Brendan Behan

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Setting Intentions is Intentional!

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Last year, I hosted Thanksgiving at my home.  It was the first time I hosted that holiday in many years.  It was also my first Thanksgiving since moving to San Diego from Chicago, which happened only two months prior. 

My twins were spending the holiday with their dad and his side of the family, so I surrounded myself with my “California” family.  My dad, my sister and her family, and two of my best friends and their children.  In total, there were thirteen of us.  I love the holidays.  I love having everyone together.  I love the craziness and the chaos that goes on in the kitchen.  I love the laughter, and the music we play and the dancing we do while we are preparing all that food.  My family definitely knows how to have fun.  It’s one of the many things I cherish about them.

When we were gathered around the table, I handed out a sheet of paper to everyone.  It is a tradition I decided to create.  I call it the “I Have Today Thanksgiving Gratitude and Intention Sheet.”   Listed on the piece of paper is a place for you to write your name and the date of the holiday.  Then, inside the boxed area are four statements: 

I AM So Grateful For:

  • This Year, The Best Thing That Happened To Me Was:
  • My Life Is Different From One Year Ago Because:
  • By Thanksgiving 2016, I Will Be, Do, and/or Have:

At the bottom of the sheet it says:  I WILL IT!    I EXPECT IT!   I DESIRE IT!   SO BE IT!   THANK YOU!!!

We all took a few minutes to think back and reflect on our year while also thinking about what life would look like one year from now.  I do exercises like this quite a bit all year long, and I mostly write all of this in my journal.  Since I live my life intentionally each day, I find these practices very effective in creating the life that I want.  It’s amazing how easily things manifest into my life because of these practices.  People ask me all the time “Diane, how is it that you barely say something or think something and then it shows up in your life?”  This is how, my beautiful beings.  You’ve got to think about what you want, write it down, give it a “by when” date, then let it go from your mind and release it to the universe.  Our job is to just DECIDE what we want, think about what it would be like to have it, what it looks like, the way it would FEEL to have it, and just imagine it as if it is already done.  That’s manifestation.

I saved my sheet and pulled it out of the drawer where I have kept it stored since last year.  I wanted to reread it to see exactly what had happened to me since the year after writing it.  Guess what?  EVERYTHING I put underneath the last statement has manifested into my life!  Every single one!  I’m always pleasantly surprised when that happens.  I’m not necessarily shocked by it, but I sometimes have moments of awe in the power each and every one of us possess.  It’s really magical.

Tomorrow, when I arrive at my sister’s home in New York for Thanksgiving, with a massive crowd of 40 people in attendance, I will hand out this year’s sheet for everyone to complete for themselves.  I will let them know the purpose of it and read to them my list from last year so they know that, truly, ANYTHING is possible. 

I’m making this template available for you, just Click Here and download it, and perhaps for your family as well.  I hope you adapt this tradition as your own, or something similar to it. 

I am sending you all many blessings and wishes for a safe Thanksgiving filled with love, laughter, good food, organized chaos, dancing and singing, beautiful reflections from your last year and powerful intentions for the year to come.  Keep me posted on your progress.  I love hearing stories from all of you on how I Have Today has shifted your life in some positive way.

 

Quote:  I am grateful for what I am and have.  My thanksgiving is perpetual. – Henry David Thoreau

Setting Intentions is Intentional!Read More