America’s Mindset Coach. Intentional living expert.

Learn How to Flow

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What is “flow?”  No, ladies, I’m not talking about that once a month occurrence that happens to our bodies.  I’m referring to the releasing of resistance, negative energy and uninspired action, and allowing your life to unfold each moment of every day and allowing the universe to guide you to everything you want.  Whether you realize it or not, the universe it guiding you anyway, but are you paying attention?  So, when you learn how to flow and you release the resistance, man… does your life get better!  It gets richer, happier, more peaceful, fun, spontaneous, and energized…. It’s incredible!  This is truly the way we are supposed to be living.

When I’m working with clients, I help them clear away the blockages and negative talk, emotions and thoughts, and I help them look at things differently than they did before.  That process creates massive, rapid results because they follow the processes and they WANT the changes!  They don’t want to be “stuck” in patterns any longer…especially in their relationships.

In relationships where there is struggle, 99.99% of the time it is because there is resistance.  One or both people is fighting for their viewpoint, and it is ego-based.  They are not open-hearted enough or not coming from a heart-centered space to be able to see the other person’s perspective, and that causes a rift and friction.  That tension causes the resistance, and there is no way that relationship can flow under those conditions.  Therefore, if there was a heightened awareness of FLOW and the way it works, it would make conflict resolution so simple!  It would make your communication and connection so deep.  The couple would realize it’s not “his way” or “her way.”  It’s just “the way.”  And the way is flow…let it go and flow…flow towards the easiest, least resistant path.

How can we equate this to our relationships and the way this is working within the universe? Time is only moving in one direction.  The water running down the river only goes downstream.  That is the way the universe works!  So, learning the art of flow is easy to do when you think about that visual.  When you’re struggling with a situation, with anyone or anything, you are fighting the flow.  You’re letting your ego get in the way.  The universe is trying to let it in, but it cannot come to you because you are literally blocking the path of flow.

Flow allows you to release and let go of the outcome of somebody else’s agenda.  Flow lets you trust the higher power and trust that it’s all working out for you.  Here’s how you can practice it:

Step 1: Close Your Eyes and Imagine It’s Your 80th Birthday

This may seem silly, but try it!  Imagine it’s your 80th birthday party.  All the people you love are there celebrating you.  As you sit there, in love and gratitude, look back on your life.  In that moment, you realize that everything you ever wanted has come true for you and you have never needed to worry about anything!  All your wishes came true and your life has been such a beautiful journey.  You are happier than you’ve ever imagined, and you wish you didn’t waste all that time being worried or upset, or that you didn’t spend any time struggling.  HAVE FUN with this exercise and do it as often as you need to!  This is a great “go-to” when you feel like you’re struggling with something.

Step 2: Do the Placemat Exercise

This is from “Ask and It Is Given” by Esther and Abraham Hicks.  In the back of the book, there are 22 Processes.  This is one of them.  This is SO MUCH FUN! Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle.  At the top of the left side write “Things I Want to Do and I Enjoy Doing” and on the right side write “What I want The Universe to Do for Me.”   Under your column, write down the things you want to do and enjoy doing, and on the right side, list everything you don’t enjoy doing or you think is hard to do.  Make the list on that side of the page as long as you want!  Then, let go and FLOW!  Let the universe go to work on that list.  But, VERY IMPORTANT, you must PAY ATTENTION to all the signs from the universe coming to you…the phone calls you get out of the blue, the songs you hear, the surprises in the mail, the emails you get…all of it!  This is a phenomenal practice!!!  I use this process to powerfully manifest many things into my life.  So, let this work for you!

Step 3: Follow Your Inspired Action and the Point of Least Resistance

This sounds lazy and unproductive, but only do things when you are in INSPIRED ACTION!  If you’ve got something you should be doing, but you don’t feel like doing it…instead, you want to read a book, call a friend, take a walk, take a nap…do that instead.  Do not do anything important without being in inspired action, because the results will not be good.  It won’t be the quality you want it to be, you will struggle with it, it will feel difficult and challenging.  Trust me, I have done this before, and the results have not been good.  Follow your FLOW and do what you FEEL LIKE doing, and TRUST that the inspiration WILL COME and you will meet your deadline and get done whatever it is you need to get done.  This is so easy, yet people don’t do this.  They beat themselves up for being “lazy” and “unproductive” which is contrary to the truth.

If you’re not feeling the “flow” the answer should be “no.”  So, learning how to follow your flow will guide you to following your bliss.  Go with the Flow!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE THE WAY MY LIFE FLOWS WITH EASE.

THANK IT:!  I AM GRATEFUL FOR THE GRACEFUL FLOW OF MY LIFE.

BRING IT:!  I KNOW HOW TO FLOW, SO ABUNDANCE AND HAPPINESS POUR ALL OVER ME!

Quote:  “May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it si with children.” – Rainer Maria

If you like this blog, you may also like:

Setting Intentions and Outcomes

The Ripple Effect:  3 Ways to Make a Better First Impression

www.dianeforster.com

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Stop Expecting Others to Act the Way You Want Them To

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As an Intentional Living Expert, I work with many clients on ways to get “unstuck” and to re-invent their lives.  I’ve noticed that one subject comes up a lot is their disappointment in someone else in their lives. When we put our expectations on others, that is asking them to live the way WE want them to live instead of the way THEY want to live.  It is certainly okay to put our own expectations upon ourselves, but it is not okay to put them on others.  We need to stop expecting others to act the way you want them to.

I am not referring to your boss who has expectations for you to show up on time for work and to perform your job, or as a parent to expect your children to obey certain house rules.  What I am referring to is behavioral expectations we create within ourselves on how we want others to behave.

Let me give you an example.

A client of mine was dating a man that she really cared for.  He really cared for her as well.  There were many things “right” about him, except she didn’t like how frugal he was, he didn’t make a lot of money, and money wasn’t very important to him.  For her, money was very important.  She likes to buy nice things, she loves to spend money and in her words “enjoy her life” in that way.  It became a big problem in their relationship when it came time to possibly move in together.

The question is:  Is it up to HIM to meet HER financial needs?  The answer is no.  There are three options available:

  1. She can make more money herself to afford her lifestyle.
  2. She can accept him as he is and learn to live on a smaller income.
  3. She can end the relationship and find someone who will fill that need for her.

It’s perfectly fine to want what you want.  But, that does not mean that someone else will want it, too.  Expectations of others has ended many, many relationships!  I could share countless stories that I hear from my clients.  Almost every one of their “issues” in their current or past relationships has been related to having a level of expectation from someone else to be more like them.

Think about where this is “showing up” in your life.  Do you have certain expectations in your relationships with your spouse, your parents, your kids, your lover, your friends?  Have you had any relationships end because of unrealistic expectations?

Here are three strategies to drop your expectations of others so that you can feel more joy in these relationships, and in your life in general:

Begin to Notice When You Feel Disappointed

When you start to observe your feelings of disappointment, pay attention to WHY you are feeling that way.  What was the event that occurred for you?  You will start to notice a pattern where you have expectations of others.  TAKE NOTE OF WHO AND WHY.

Ask Yourself Why You Need That

This is really powerful!  Become very curious as to why you wanted it.  What you’ll begin to see is that the reason you wanted it is because you want to know that “you matter,” as Oprah Winfrey states.

That is one of the things she knows for sure.  What I know for sure is that we all want to be seen, heard, appreciated and acknowledged.  We want to feel valued and validated.  Here’s the problem with that…it sets us up for so much disappointment!  Even if the person behaves or responds the way you want them to, the first time they don’t, you will feel hurt.

The power must come from WITHIN YOU.  A healthy level of self-love will block those feelings of disappointment.  When you TRULY love and accept yourself, you know this and understand this.

Practice the EED Process

This powerful process is in my book “I Have Today:  Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile…Finally!”

This 3-step process is one of the most effective tools I’ve created.  Emotional Energy Diffuser steps are:  Breathe, Think, Praise and here is how it works:

When you start to feel disappointment, take a moment to pause and take a deep breath.  We always feel some immediate relief whenever we do this.  (Try it right now…take a breath.  Don’t you feel a little bit better?)

Next, think for a moment and say to yourself “wait, this has nothing to do with me!”  It’s so true!  It doesn’t!  Someone else’s response or behavior has EVERYTHING to do with them and what they are feeling and experiencing.  Therefore, you must learn how to not take it so personally.

Last, think about that person and praise them in your mind by saying to yourself, “they are doing the best they can today.  This is all they have to give, and it is enough.”

This process really works!  Please start practicing it in all areas of your life and then let me know how it’s working for you!

When you drop your expectations of others, you are going to be surprised and delighted at the level of happiness you start experiencing in your life!  Your relationships, your level of connection, your level of self-love and acceptance is going to blow you away!  We don’t need others to change to suit our needs or expectations.  We just need to love ourselves more and also accept others JUST AS THEY ARE!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE HOW SPECIAL AND POWERFUL I AM!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY SELF-LOVE!

BRING IT!:  EVERYONE IS DOING THE BEST THEY CAN, INCLUDING ME!

Quote:  “To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves – there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect.” – Joan Didion

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The Real Four Letter Word that Starts with “F”

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The real four letter word that starts with “F” is… FEAR!  Why is there so much fear?  What the heck are we all so afraid of???  What are the fears that are keeping you awake at night?  Fear of dying?  Fear of getting sick?  Fear of being alone?  Fear of running out of money?  Fear of failure?  Fear of rejection?  Fear of never being good enough?  Fear of…..fill in the blank!

In my work with clients, fear is the number one emotion that paralyzes people.  Fear causes people to stay in relationships, or jobs, or situations longer than they should because they are afraid of the unknown.  Fear keeps people from going after their dreams because they are so afraid to make a mistake.  Fear stops people from pursuing what they want because they are so afraid of rejection.  This craziness needs to stop!

I used to have many fears as well.  I can honestly say that I am now no longer afraid of anything.  I do not fear death or illness, going broke, being alone, something happening to my kids or family, what other people think of me.  None of it.  I was able to lift the veil off of fear and see it for what it really is…an emotion!  That’s it!  So, when it occasionally surfaces, I remember that…and I CHOOSE to feel a different emotion!

It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen quicker than I would have expected.  Now, I want that to happen for YOU!  I want you living without any fear!  Like I speak and write about worry, 99.999% of the things we fear NEVER happen!  We spend so much time, thought and energy on fears, which means we are living in our future and not our present moment!  Let me say it again…this needs to stop!

Here are three steps to help you overcome your fears:

Step 1: Read “Dissolve the Problem” by Richard Dotts

Richard Dotts is a modern day spiritual explorer, and he’s written over 20 books on the science of manifestation and reality creation.  This is one of my favorite books because he talks about his three-step process (sound familiar J?) on how dissolve our problems through his process of soften-shift-stay.  Essentially, it’s about being in an altered state.  This book is a great read, as there are so many wonderful nuggets in it.  This book will help you to see that our perceived problems, which cause us to feel fear, aren’t even real!

Step 2: Write down all the things you are afraid of so you can then speak them aloud.

I learned this trick from Sonia Choquette.  If we feel fear over something and we don’t express it, then it’s living inside of us.  When we speak our fears aloud, we release it from inside ourselves and, in essence, we give it away to the universe.  I added the first piece to the process because by sitting and thinking about all the things you feel fear over, you can eliminate all of them at once.  I believe in efficiency, so why not get rid of all your fears at once.  Then, if you notice new fears or fears you forgot about at another time, just say them aloud.  Let them go!  There is no need to have that bottled up in you!

Step 3: Change your morning routine and you will change your whole life!

How do you start your day?  Do you sleep with your phone next to you and grab it first thing in the morning?  Do you jump out of bed and get going right away?  Do you mentally get involved in all the responsibilities you need to handle?  If this is you, please stop doing that!

Les Brown says the way we spend the first 20 minutes of our day sets us up for success or failure!  So, it is crucial that you spend that morning time in a very specific way!  I’m going to lay out steps that take longer than 20 minutes, but if 20 minutes is all you can spare to start, that’s good enough.  It is my belief that once you begin this morning routine, you’ll look for ways to find more time for yourself.  I personally spend two hours on my morning routine!  OK, here we go:

  1. Upon waking up and opening your eyes, stay in bed for at least a minute or two (5 minutes is best) in gratitude and appreciation of your bed, the sleep you got, how safe and warm you are in there, how comfortable it is, how lucky you are to have a bed to sleep in (do you realize how many people around the world will never know that feeling?)
  2. Once you get out of bed, go use the bathroom then brush your teeth. Put on your morning pot of coffee if that is what you enjoy.  But, before drinking it (or tea, or anything you normally drink in the morning) go find a quiet place to sit down and meditate.  If you are new to meditation, there’s nothing more to it than sitting still, eyes closed, and breathing in and out.  Focus your attention on your breath, and allow yourself to be still.  Do this for anywhere from 5-10 minutes in the morning (15-20 minutes is best.)  If you want to learn my meditation practice, email me at info@dianeforster.com for more information.
  3. After you meditate, go get yourself your cup of coffee, or tea, or juice and go sit down to write in a journal. Write what you are grateful for, how you want to feel, what you WANT your day to look like, etc.  Take control of it…think of only positive things!  Get your mind used to doing that practice…focus on positive, NOT negative thoughts.  You are a creator, so CREATE WHAT YOU WANT!
  4. Last, listen to something motivational or inspirational. If you don’t have time to do it at home, listen to it during your commute to wherever you’re going.  I love Les Brown, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Zig Ziglar, Lisa Nichols, Wayne Dyer, and many, many others.

What is the purpose of this and how does it relate to fear?  This will help with your mindset.  When your mindset is positive and upbeat, fear can’t get in there!

You no longer have to be a victim of fear.  You can CONTROL your mind and your thoughts, and re-direct them in a much safer, happier direction.  Follow these steps and let me know how they work for you!  Let’s get you fearlessly living the life of your dreams!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE HOW FEARLESSLY I LIVE EACH DAY!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY FEARLESS ATTITUDE!

BRING IT!:  I AM IN CONTROL OF MY EMOTIONS, DECISIONS AND MY LIFE!

 

Quote:  “The eagle has no fear of adversity. We need to be like the eagle and have a fearless spirit of a conqueror!” – Joyce Meyer

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3 Ways to Not Piss Off God

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What?  Is it possible to piss off God?  Well, actually…no.  What that title really means is that when we get into a tailspin of negative, self-sabotage talk, we are speaking to ourselves in a way that GOD NEVER WOULD!  Our thoughts, emotions and behavior with ourselves keeps us from getting what we truly want in life because we are EDGING OUT GOD.  When we feel “icky” inside, that’s us being out of alignment with the way that God sees us.

The ONLY way God sees us is through the eyes of LOVE.  That’s it.  I could stop writing right now if you truly understood that and believed that.  However, because of the way many of us were raised and our religious beliefs, we have come to believe that we need God’s approval for everything we do during this human experience.  Here’s the deal…God loves us no matter what.  We don’t need to ask for permission or forgiveness from God…it is a given.  God would NEVER turn his back on us…EVER!  God sees us as PERFECTION!  God does not make mistakes and He did not make a mistake with you! 

I may anger a lot of people with this blog, and I don’t mean to.  But, I often wonder how so many people deny themselves happiness and choose guilt and shame because they are not living up to the way God would want them to?  They consider themselves “sinners” and unworthy of experiencing happiness while here on Earth.  They believe that happiness is meant for the afterlife.  Seriously!?!?  I want to say this as loudly as I can while typing:

GOD WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY, TO BE JOYFUL, TO BE PLAYFUL, TO BE LOVING, TO BE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE!  GOD IS NOT JUDGING YOU!  GOD IS STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU SUPPORTING YOU…ALWAYS!!!  GOD HAS YOUR BACK!  YES, SINNERS, YOURS TOO!

We all need to LOVE OURSELVES the way God loves us…unconditionally, with no expectations.  The complete love is just there.  Fully and forever.  So, don’t look at yourself in the mirror and hate what you see.  Don’t call yourself derogatory names.  Don’t feel unworthy of having anything and everything you want.  IF God could get mad, those are things that would anger him.  Instead, God wants you to know that it’s heart-breaking for him to witness your lack of self-love, particularly with His beautiful creation…YOU!

So, how can we create awareness of our sabotaging behavior and find a way to increase our level of Self Love?  Here are three ways:

There is No Separation

By now, you’ve heard me say often enough that everything is energy and there is no separation of anyone or anything.  We are all connected.  That means we are inextricably connected to God as well.  Therefore, when you say or think a negative thought about yourself, you’re saying it about God, too.  Would you call God “fat” or “stupid” or “ugly?”  Would you look at God and focus on the areas you don’t like about Him?  Would you tell God he’s not good enough?  No!  But, when you speak of yourself like that, that is exactly what you’re doing.  So, the next time you look in the mirror, remember that and say to yourself following statements:

I AM A CREATION OF GOD AND GOD LOVES ME COMPLETELY.

GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES AND HE DID NOT MAKE ONE WITH ME.

I AM GOD AND HE IS ME.

Keep your focus and energy on what a REMARKABLE GIFT you are!!!

Stop Feeling Worried, Guilty, or Shameful

Three words that need to be removed from the dictionary and our vocabulary are worry, guilt and shame.  I wish those emotions didn’t exist.  They are such a waste of time!  We beat ourselves up over so many silly things.  Guess what…we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and while we are here on earth and experiencing “humanness,” we are going to make mistakes!  Now, I’m not saying that rapists, murderers and the like should not be punished.  However, it is my belief that those who do “bad” things aren’t really bad, they are exhibiting bad behavior.  They are not their behavior.  So, if there’s room for them in Heaven, or the afterlife, or whatever you believe, surely there’s room for you for your behavior in this lifetime!

Let go of the guilt and shame and FORGIVE YOURSELF for your past actions and behaviors!  Don’t spend your life carrying around the guilt or shame of something that ALREADY happened.  By forgiving yourself and moving on, that enables you to live in the present moment and LEARN from it.  By keeping it alive, you cannot move on from it.  God has, and so should you.

Breath, Think, Praise

In my book, I write about EEDs.  Emotional Energy Diffusers.  This 3 Step Process has allowed me to live in and come from a place of unconditional love in my life.  I understand that how someone is responding (or reacting) to me has nothing to do with me.  It has everything to do with the other person.  On top of that, that person is doing the best they can from where they are at that given moment.

Therefore, who am I to judge them or react negatively to them?  It is not my place to do so.  It is my job and responsibility to LOVE MYSELF enough to know this, then look at them the way God does…with unconditional love.  How is this showing up in your life?  How can you do better at Self Love, which in turn creates unconditional love for everyone else?  This is such a powerful concept and way to live!

You can find more information on how EEDs work and how to do the process in my book, “I Have Today:  Find Your Passion, Purpose & Smile…Finally!” 

Your life is meant to be full of love and joy and happiness, and also painful experiences, sadness and heartbreak.  Every experience and emotion we have is a GIFT, and God is standing next to you every step of the way…THAT’S HOW LOVED YOU ARE!  In God’s eyes, you cannot do wrong.  So, be kinder to yourself, speak well of yourself, love yourself unconditionally, and watch how God shows up to give you even more of the things you want.  He’s doing it all the time…but, now you know it, and you’ll be looking for His unconditional love in everyone and everything.

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE FEELING GOD’S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR ME!

THANK IT!:  I AM SO GRATEFUL TO ALWAYS HAVE GOD BY MY SIDE!

BRING IT!:   I AM GOD, AND GOD IS ME!  WE ARE ONE IN THE UNIVERSE!

Quote:  “The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.” –  Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

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3 Powerful Decision-Making Strategies for more Time, Money and Freedom

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How are your decision-making skills?  Are they what she should be, or could they be improved?  Do you know that bad decision-making skills could be costing you money?  What’s worse is it could be costing you your precious time.

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what your decision-making skills are like?  I used to think I was a very decisive person.  In many ways I am, but I learned very quickly once I started to deeply look at it that I could be a MUCH better decision maker.  I realized that my lack of stronger decision-making skills was holding back SO much more of what I wanted.  So, what did I do?  I DECIDED to change that behavior.  I DECIDED to make being a better decision maker a priority in my life. 

Why do so many people have such a hard time making decisions?  It doesn’t matter if the decisions are small or big, many people struggle.  Why?  They are terrified of making the dreaded MISTAKE!  What most people don’t realize is that there is no such thing as a mistake…there are only lessons along the way.  The beautiful thing about making a decision that you end up not liking is you can always just make ANOTHER DECISION.  Boom!  It’s that simple!  Just make a new decision!

How many of you have stayed in a job too long?  Or, a relationship too long?  How many times did you have a “gut” reaction to something but ignored it.  Then, you ultimately regretted ignoring it because what it meant was you made a decision to hang on to something way too long.  How often have you thought “Oh, he’ll change” or “she’ll change.”  If you’ve said those words or had those thoughts before, then you know it does not work like that.  But, our fear of the unknown keeps us in situations and relationships longer than we should be because we are afraid to make a decision to change the circumstances.  The truth is…by NOT deciding to change them, we keep away the things we truly want.  We need to DECIDE that our happiness and our desires matter more than anything else, we need to keep that at the front of our minds, and make all of our decisions based on what’s RIGHT for us!

If you’re an entrepreneur, there are major decisions that come up every day.  Without good decision making skills, you could be costing yourself so much time and money.  You HAVE to master this skill in order for your business to not only survive, but to thrive!

Here are three strategies how to have very strong decision-making skills to powerfully impact your life in a positive way:

Strategy 1

You cannot make a decision until you know your DESIRED OUTCOME.  If you don’t know that, then it stands to reason why you may make decisions that you later regret.  Also, you can’t get to your desired outcome from the same state you started out in. 

Therefore, follow this winning formula to make BETTER decisions.  By knowing your desired outcome, you can set the intentions that will create the outcome.  Once you set your intentions to lead you to your desired outcome, you can start moving in direction of your intentions that will create your desired outcome.

The Formula:  (M + I) = O   

Movement towards your Intentions will create your Outcome.

Decide your Outcome.

Set the necessary Intentions to get there.

Move towards each intention.

Put this formula on several post-it notes and stick them all over your home, office, and car.  By seeing these constant reminders, you’ll trigger your brain to be focused on your desired outcomes all day long.  This will help you tremendously in making quick, better decisions.

Strategy 2

Practice making quick decisions all day long.  From the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed, DECIDE, DECIDE, DECIDE.  Decide whether to work out.  Decide what to wear.  Decide what to eat.  Decide where to go.  Decide whether to say “yes” or “no” to that contract.  Decide, Decide, Decide. 

In order to get good at making major decisions, you have to first fine-tune your decision making skills for the small things.  What to wear, where to eat, where to go, etc.  Do your best not to hmmm and ummm.  Just say the first thing that comes to you.  Then, do it!

Once you “master” those decisions, which believe it or not, are so difficult for some people, then you can start to really master bigger decisions, like should I go out with him, should I hire that person, should I buy that car, should I move, should I change jobs?

Strategy 3

Listen to or read books on Decision Making.  One of the best books I’ve ever read was “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown.  Here is a link to his site:

http://gregmckeown.com

This book changed my life in so many ways!  Greg eloquently breaks down the four steps to create a life that allows you to DECIDE what’s most important to you in your life, to weed out what isn’t, and how to live with more focus.  “The Essentialist” only says yes to the top 10% of opportunities and asks, “Is this exactly what I am looking for?”  When you drill down what is truly important to you, you base all of your decisions on that criteria, which creates a much smoother, calmer, peaceful, fulfilling, happy life!

We all seem to be racing towards something and feel like if we don’t say “yes” to everything, we may be missing out on an opportunity.  However, without knowing first and deciding what’s important to us, we have no focal point to direct us.  Like I said before, you can’t go wrong, because if you don’t like a decision, YOU GET TO MAKE ANOTHER DECISION TO CHANGE THAT DECISION!  Don’t you love that!?!

The most important fact I want you to walk away with is this:  YOU ARE THE ONE IN POWER!  You are the one who gets to decide about EVERYTHING in your life!  So, DECIDE what’s right for YOU!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE THAT I GET TO DECIDE ABOUT EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY STRONG DECISION-MAKING SKILLS!

BRING IT!  IT’S MY LIFE, AND I’M THE ONE THAT DECIDES WHAT’S RIGHT FOR ME!

 

Quote:  “Unsuccessful people make decisions based on their current situation; successful people make decisions based on where they want to be.” – Anonymous

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3 Tips to Get Everything You Want by Asking the Right Questions

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Wouldn’t it be nice to get everything you want in life?  Well, it’s possible!  You just need to know how to ask.  So many of my clients come to me with questions.  They want to know why they can’t find a man who loves them, or a career that makes them a nice income that they enjoy, or time to do the things they want to do.  They struggle with being tired and suffer from low energy.  They WANT more out of their lives, but they just don’t know how to do it.

One of the three areas I focus on when working with my clients is language.  I talk about the importance of the words we say and the thoughts we think being responsible for everything that shows up in our lives…everything!  But, it’s not just in the words we say; it’s the WAY we say them as well.  Asking questions is one of the most POWERFUL ways we attract what we have into our lives.  Therefore, it is vitally important that we are asking ourselves the RIGHT questions.

Let me explain a little further.  If you want to lose weight, but you ask yourself “Why can’t I lose weight?” you will not lose weight.  The emphasis is on “can’t lose weight.”  All your energy is focused on the frustration and the defeat.  You end up feeling bad about yourself, and you doubt yourself.  Everything in that question is laced with negative energy.  You can’t move in a positive direction in that state using words like that.


Here is a list of three tips to uncover and unlock the secrets to using the RIGHT questions to attract everything you want into your life.

Turn Your “Worry” into “Wonder”

I could remove any word from the dictionary and our language, the first word I would remove is “worry.”  It is such a wasted emotion.  So many people spend so much of their time worrying!  Think about all the things you worry about, then look back to see how many of those things actually came true.  This is a topic I talk about a lot because it’s worth repeating over and over again.  To help you get started, I’ve created a list of ten powerful questions designed to create triggers when you say the word “worry.”

Here is a list of better questions to be asking:

Use these questions:

I wonder, how it would feel to (fill in the blank)?

I wonder, what would it take to (fill in the blank)?

Sample Questions:

  • Have a job I really loved.
  • Be in a loving, romantic relationship with an amazing, trustworthy partner.
  • Be fit and healthy.
  • Wake up early and feel excited about the day ahead.
  • Have so much money that I never have to think about what I spend.
  • Live in a world where I’m loved and accepted just as I am.
  • Work when I want to work and play when I want to play.
  • Know that I’m OK just the way I am and feel really good about that.
  • Feel happy every single day.
  • Get along better with my family (boss, partner, kids, etc.)

Replace “I Am/I Was” with “The Person I Used to Be”

Did you know that “I AM” means God?  God said to Moses when he asked him his name “I am that I am.”  God, or whatever you believe, is in all of us.  There is no separation.  We are all connected.  When we use “I am” we are stating something as in past, present, future.  When we say “I was” we are definitely living in our past, but it still connects us to now.  What does all this mean?  It means that if we want to change our current circumstances, we need to change our connection and association to events from our past and our current “reality.”  How can we do that?  Simply by changing statements and questions as follows:

Examples:

From:  Why am I so undesirable?

To:  The person I used to be was undesirable, but why am I now so desirable?

From:  Why was I so stupid?

To:  The person I used to be would call me stupid, but why is it so easy to see how smart I am now?

Exercise:

  • Write down ten defeating questions you say to yourself or others.
  • Then, REWRITE them using this formula.

The OUTCOME:

You will begin to pick up the pattern you’re stuck in, and start speaking about yourself in a much kinder, more loving manner.

Create Questions That Put Your Subconscious to Work FOR You

When I read Noah St. John’s book “Afformations” my eyes were opened up to the power of asking “WHY” questions instead of just stating affirmations.  After I read that book, I started saying to myself “Why does this day keep getting better and better?”  If you’ve done my 30 DAY CHALLENGE ON HOW TO HAVE A BETTER TODAY, that is Day 1’s Challenge.  That is such a powerful question with so many legs to it.  I’ll change it up and replace “day” with “week” or “month” or “YEAR!”  It’s so much fun to say “Why does this year keep getting better and better?”  When we ask that question, our subconscious starts searching all the files, stored memories and experiences, and goes out of its way to MAKE SURE your day, week, month, or year keep getting better and better.

Your assignment is to come up with a DAILY MANTRA question like this one for you.  Feel free to use this one, because it’s so effective and EASY TO REMEMBER.   But, here are some other suggestions:

  • Time Challenged: Why do I have so much time?
  • Stressed Out: Why does my life move with such ease and flow?
  • Lack of Focus: Is what I’m doing right now moving my life forward?
  • Money Mindset: Why is it so easy for me to make money?
  • Low Self-Esteem: Why am I so confident and capable?

It may seem crazy, but this stuff works! By creating more awareness about the way you speak and ask questions, and by being INTENTIONAL with the questions you ask and the words you choose, you can easily shift what occurs in your life.  The difference between someone who says “Why can’t anything ever go right for me?” versus “Why are things always working out for me?” is evident by what’s happening in their lives.  So, what’s showing up for you?

Breaking old paradigms and programming that’s been embedded in us for many, many years doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen faster than you think.  Step one is creating the awareness and step two is reframing the questions.  Step three is what shows up.  Start with these three tips, have fun with it (because life is supposed to be fun), and be easy on yourself when you first start doing this.  It’s a new habit you’re creating, and it takes time.  And here’s the best part…you’ll gain greater self-awareness.  That is always a good thing!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  WHY DO I GET EVERYTHING I WANT?

THANK IT!:  WHY DOES MY LIST OF THINGS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR KEEP GROWING?

BRING IT!:  HOW CAN LIFE POSSIBLY BE THIS GOOD!?!

 

Quote:  “The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge.”  – Thomas Berger

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4 Ways to Get More Out of Your Weekend Get-A-Ways

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I was able to get away a couple of weeks ago with my man, Jim.  We live in separate cities at the moment, so we decided to meet in Sedona.  We had such a wonderful time!  Sedona is so magical.  If you haven’t been there, I highly recommend it. 

The landscape is indescribable.  Even the most skilled of photographers can’t quite capture the beauty, the majesty, the energy that’s there.  Everywhere you look, there are massive rock formations around you.  You never look at the same thing twice because the shadows and shapes change with the passing of the sun. 

We visited five of the seven vortexes.  We would have visited all of them, but the weather wasn’t cooperating with us.  Oh well…we just have to go back! 

We spent a long weekend there and had such a wonderful time that we are going back in two months.  Which leads me to why I’m writing this.  I know there are so many of you that do not take the time to plan getaways.  There’s a million excuses…I don’t have the time, I don’t have the money, I only get limited vacation time, I have no one to watch the kids, I have no one to go with. 

Here’s the thing…you can “excuse” your life away.  Have you noticed that time seems to be moving faster than ever?  That’s because it actually IS.  Since 1980, the earth’s heart beat has been speeding up.  Google it if you want to find out more.  Therefore, we NEED to be spending our time doing more of the things we want to be doing and less time fretting and worrying about things that are not important.  One of the best ways to get your head clear and nurture yourself is to make sure to get away on a regular basis.  Vacations are wonderful, but even little weekend get-a-ways have a massively positive effect on our spirit and our energy levels.  If you struggle to fit it in, here are four ways that may help you.

Get Out Your Calendar and Block Off a Weekend Every 4 to 6 Weeks

The beach, the dessert, the mountains, the lake, the city.  Look at the entire year and put those get-a-ways on the calendar FIRST.  You can fill in the gaps where you want to go after, but get it on the calendar.  That way, when you come across a place you’d like to visit, you can say to yourself “Hey, I’ve wanted to go there, and now I’m going!  I’ll pick the last trip of the year for that destination!”  How fun, right? 

Look for Deals on Accommodations, Travel, Events Ahead of Time

Since you’re planning ahead of time, you’ll be able to scout some really incredible deals on sites like Airbnb, Travelocity, AAA, Expedia, TripAdvisor, Kayak, etc.  Your RAS (Reticular Activating System of your brain) will be fired up because you’ve put regular travel on your calendar, so you’ll have a heightened awareness about this and you’ll see deals will just start popping up in front of you! So cool!

Get a Support Group Together

Find and form a group to handle watching the kids and the pets, collecting mail, watching the house, etc.  How awesome will it be when you coordinate this group where you all look out for each other when you go away?!?  “I’ll watch yours if you watch mine!”  A built-in network of FREE services! 

Feel ZERO Guilt!

You know what I’m going to say here…at the end of your life, you do not want to look back and say “I wish I traveled more and spent more of my time having fun.”  There’s no guilt here.  Your kids and your pets need a vacation from you, too.  Nurturing yourself sets an example to your children that they, too, should nurture themselves.  They’ll grow up to thank you for it when they’re older, I promise.  Just go and HAVE FUN!

Living INTENTIONALLY means you get to decide what your life looks like, what it feels like, what you do, where you go, and how you spend your time.  You deserve it.  Life is supposed to be WAY more FUN than many people make it.  Do you ever notice that the people who make the most money seem to be having the most fun?  That’s because they put enjoying life at the forefront of everything.  They have a healthy, positive attitude and they put their needs first.  That’s how the abundance comes to them in all areas of their lives.  It’s not the other way around, like so many others think!

The bottom line is this… there will always be work to do…which isn’t a bad thing.  We just have to prioritize our happiness and put it at the forefront of our lives.  Our emotional happiness, our physical happiness, our spiritual happiness, our mental happiness.  Weekend getaways are a great way to stay charged and energized in your life.  So, take out your calendar and get moving.  The world awaits you!

Quote:  “The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.” – Saint Augustine

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Bitter Sweetness or Good Riddance: 5 “Opportunities” for Connection in The New Year

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As the holidays are here and the year comes to an end, I wanted to take a moment with you to let you know that I appreciate YOU!  I appreciate you being a part of my world, my circle, my friend, my family, my business partner, in my life in general!

My wish is that this year for you has had its share of way more ups than downs, that you’ve experienced more laughter than tears, that your money moved more up than down, that your heart was filled with more love and joy than sadness and sorrow, and that you bid this year farewell with a bitter sweetness instead of a good-riddance attitude.

I hope we connect more in the coming year.  If we haven’t connected at all this year, my apologies.  I’m going to make it a priority to connect with more people more often.  Our connections mean so much to me!

Here is a list of my “opportunities” for the upcoming year (I don’t like to use the word resolution…too negative…it implies that something is wrong, and there ain’t nothing wrong with any of us!).  I want us to stay more connected now and moving forward!  As an Intentional Living Expert, I know the importance of stating them clearly.  So, here they are:

I’ll  Reach Out to at Least 5 People Per Day 

I meet new people almost every single day!  I will be better about connecting with them, reaching out to existing relationships I have, and I’ll make more of an effort to be the “one who reaches out first.”

I’ll Ask Myself Everyday “Who Can I Help Today?” 

When we focus on being in service to others and less in neediness for ourselves, magic happens!  It feels amazing to help another person.  And then Law of Attraction is always at play, so we can’t help but be the beneficiary of help from another.

I’ll Volunteer More

I promise myself to do more, give more, create more time for giving back with my TIME, not just my WALLET.

I’ll Provide More Products and Services for My Clients and Fans

I’ve already started this one.  I created a “30 Day Challenge on How to Have a Better TODAY”, which is launching on the 1st of January…perfect timing, right?!?  This is all about YOU!  It’s free, it’s fun, and it will help you create awareness in the areas of your life that you’d like to improve upon.  (I’ll put a link down below to sign up if you’re interested.)

I’ll Do One Massively Large, Wildly Fun, Incredibly Life-changing Event This Year!

OK, I wrote it.  I said it.  Now, I’m committed to doing it!  That’s the way this universe works!  Once it’s in writing, then you have to make it happen.  Universal forces have already started conspiring on all the people, places, circumstances for it to come together.  So, now it’s up to me to make it happen!  (No worries…I’m going to do it, and it’s going to be AMAZING!!!)

There you have it…my five “opportunities” for next year that I will be working towards.  If any of these resonate with you, please feel free to print this list and adapt them for yourself.

To get the momentum going for The Best Year of Your Life, I created a FREE, fun 30 Day Challenge on How to Have a Better TODAY.  It’s beginning at the beginning…of the year, that is.  So, sign up for it!  Every day for 30 days, you’ll get a 2-3 minute video of me with the Challenge of the Day.  That’s it!  Just follow along, and have some FUN!  At the end of the 30 days, you are going to notice the subtle differences in you, your awareness, and how you respond to life.  You’ll start living each day intentionally, with more love, joy and fulfillment than ever before!  I’m so excited for you!!!  Here’s the link:  .

Happy New Year!  I wish you all the blessings in the world, and I look forward to us connecting more in the coming year!!!

Quote:  Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Camp Santa or Camp Grinch…Which Camp Are You In?

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It’s interesting…half the people I talk to are so excited about the holidays, and the other half can’t wait for them to be over with!  Which side are you on?  Camp Santa or Camp Grinch?   

I created many traditions while my kids were growing up.  They were allowed to open ONE present on Christmas Eve.  They loved that so much!    In the morning, they would wait at the top of the stairs for the obligatory photo moment before coming down to see what “Santa” brought.  They would always go to the fireplace and open the gifts in their stockings first, while also assisting the dogs in opening their stocking gifts as well.  So precious!

We all wore the same hilarious matching pajamas every year.  I remember that every holiday season, I would have to buy one new set, for Robert, and give Melanie Robert’s hand-me-downs from the year before because of how their growth was tracking.  That’s the benefit of the “unisex” jammies! 

I used to mail out hundreds of Christmas cards.  However, I decided several years ago to stop doing that…partly for eco-friendly reasons, but also because I feel with social media, I can post a beautiful picture on Facebook to reach thousands of people and actually get responses and well wishes from friends and family!  That feels more personal to me now. 

I also used to spend days baking hundreds of cookies!  I won’t get the chance to do that this year.  So, while I’m sad not to be making my mother’s famous butter cookies, or my kids’ favorite sugar cookies, my waistline is thanking me! 

I think about the hours I used to spend shopping, then wrapping.  I loved wrapping the gifts.  I still love wrapping.  But, now that all of our kids are getting so much older, all they want for Christmas these days is money.  So, there are far fewer gifts that need wrapping.

Decorating the tree was a job!  First, there was the tree, which took me hours because it had to be just perfect!  I love a really full, really bright tree.  After the tree was finished, then we (uh, I mean I) would put together the village and electric train underneath.  It was worth it in the end, because it was so beautiful.  The kids and I would sit and stare at it all, there was so much to look at. 

I used to host Christmas day about every other year.  There was so much planning and work that went into doing that, because not only did all food need to be prepped and tables set, but the house had to be immaculate and all the Christmas presents from the morning needed to be packed up.  What a bummer for the “kiddles!”  They barely got to open their toys before they had to be put away.

As I look back on those years, I could totally understand why some people would be in Camp “Grinch.”  There’s a lot of work involved during the holidays…it’s expensive, it’s tiring, dealing with family isn’t always fun.  But…I wouldn’t trade a single moment of that time.  It was worth every crowded mall, late night wrapping and writing out cards, burns from the oven while baking, and all the family shenanigans. 

This year, for me and where I am right now in my life, the holidays are not stressful at all.  Perhaps it’s partly because my kids are with their dad in Chicago, so they are not here to cook and clean for.  But, we are leaving for vacation on Christmas Day and my entire family is meeting in Jamaica.  So, I opted to not even have a tree this year.  The closest thing I have to decorations in the house are the gifts sitting by the fireplace that I’ll be handing out between now and Christmas.  It hardly feels like Christmas at all…except in my heart.

The life I used to know changed drastically five years ago.  However, I love my new life.  I love that I now give my kids “experiential” gifts, like trips to Jamaica, instead of another sweater or pair of boots.  I also give them books.  I give them books for every occasion.  I prefer to give them something that will last forever…memories and inspiration. 

What I’ve learned is that the only constant in life is change.  Those were wonderful, cherished times filled with both joy and stress, but life moves on.  And now, in the new chapter, things look different, but that doesn’t make them any less special.  Christmas spirit is in the heart.  That’s where it lives.  As I say in “I Have Today”, happiness is an inside job.  There is nothing outside of us.  Everything we need, want, desire is within us…even Santa!  If you read any of my blogs, watch any of my videos, read my book, then you know how I feel…every single moment of our lives is such a GIFT.  That’s the greatest gift of all!

Camp “Santa” Forever!!!

 

Quote:  There is no better gift a society can give children than the opportunity to grow up safe and free – the chance to pursue whatever dreams they may have.  – John Roberts

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