America’s Mindset Coach. Intentional living expert.

3 Tips on How to Not Take Things So Personal

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Not take things so personal

When I had on my friend and spiritual guide Greg Friedman on my show, we went deep into the subject of how to not take things so personal. Greg is the host of an amazing radio show called, “Inner Journey with Greg Friedman” and I have been lucky to be on Greg’s show a couple of times. We always have great conversations together. This show was no exception. If you’d like to watch it, click HERE!

Greg has interviewed Don Miguel Ruiz, whose book “The Four Agreements” enlightened me to this concept during my reinvention and transformation. Having the capacity to practice this skill and live this way is so freeing!

Not take things so personal

Here are 3 Tips on How Not to Take Things So Personal:

1. EED Process of Breathe, Think, Praise

I teach this process in my book, and I use several examples about how powerfully it works on negative emotions. It works incredibly well when you’re trying not to take things personally that someone else has said or done. You can get a copy of the book HERE.

2. Understand that People Don’t See/Hear Themselves

You can’t see the back of your head. That holds true for other people as well…they can’t see the back of their own heads. What that means is you can’t always know what’s going on with someone else, what’s going on in their mind, what happened to them right before you had an encounter with them, etc. So, if someone is being rude to you (flipping you off on the road as they speed past you), do you need to take that personally? No! They probably don’t even know how crazy they look and sound in that moment. Clearly, their emotions are running high and they are behaving irrationally. IF they could see and hear themselves, they might respond differently. Yet again, they might not. Either way, it doesn’t matter…it has nothing to do with you, so don’t take it in. Let it roll right past you.

3. Don’t Ever Let Outside Circumstances Take You Out of Alignment

This takes some time and patience. Make it a rule to never, ever let anyone else’s mood affect yours. If you walk into a room, or come home, or walk up to a group of people talking at a party or work function, and you don’t like what’s being discussed, walk away! Remove yourself from toxic people, toxic conversation, toxic energy! Your job is to stay happy, as much as possible, as often as possible. One of the best ways to maintain a happy state of mind is to be aware of how important that is, how good it feels, and that it’s your birthright to feel that way every single day. So, don’t let anyone knock you out of your state of alignment and connection with your spiritual self.

It’s worth being reminded of this powerful skill set frequently because when you do “get there”…life is so much easier, I guarantee it! Remember the acronym QTIP, and keep physical Q-Tips in your surroundings to remind you to Quit Taking Things Personally!

Affirmation Statement:

I HAVE TODAY to…understand that I am the only one responsible for the way I feel.

With Love,

Diane

Quote: “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” – Don Miguel Ruiz

One more thing…in case you haven’t done so already, be sure to check out the “10 Days to Your Passion and Purpose” Program.  For those of you looking to make some serious changes to your life, if you give me a dollar a day for ten days, I promise I can make that happen for you!

Click Here to Get Started Now!

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3 Reasons to Forgive Your Parents

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3 Reasons to Forgive Your Parents with Diane Forster

Do you need to forgive? Let’s face it… people can drive us crazy. Especially our parents. When you’re young, you look up to your mom and dad like they are your heroes. However, from the time you enter the “socialization” years (begins around puberty/tween years) throughout the rest of your adult life, you see your parents through different eyes. Maybe it is time to forgive.

When it first begins happening, you’re too young to understand it. You just think that they don’t know anything and they are not capable of understanding you. Once you reach your “professional” years, you begin to understand that they are “people” too. And like all people, they are human and make mistakes.

I remember the moment it happened for me. I was in college and was filled with an overwhelming feeling of guilt about the way I had treated my parents in the past. Once I was away and on my own, I began to realize and truly appreciate all that they had done for me, had sacrificed for me, and how much they loved me. So, I forgave them. Then, I forgave myself.

3 Reasons to Forgive Your Parents with Diane Forster

Have you? Have you forgiven your parents for all the things they may have done to you? Or didn’t do for you? Their bad moods, their lack of patience, some unkind words, maybe even a slap or two? If not, here are three reasons why maybe it’s time you did.

Reason 1: They Were (and Still Are) Doing the Best They Can

This is true for EVERYONE, even our parents. They are a product of their own upbringing, their own programming, their own limiting beliefs, fears, doubts and insecurities. Remember, they are people, too.

In my book, “I HAVE TODAY: Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile…Finally” I teach a process called EEDs (Emotional Energy Diffusers). The third step is to “Praise.” Briefly, that means to look at the person in front of you and understand that they are doing the best they can in that moment. That’s all they’ve got. The 3-Step Process gives you the chance to show compassion and understanding towards a person who needs it even though their outward behavior may be exhibiting something negative, like anger or frustration.

So, forgiveness of your parents for the short-comings and short-sidedness is important. Deep down, they don’t mean it. They REALLY are doing the best they can in that moment.

Reason 2: They Beat Themselves Up Enough… You Don’t Need to Keep Doing It!

If you are a parent, then you now KNOW what it’s like for your parents! Parenting is not easy. You do ten things right and ten things wrong all day long! You take each day as it comes. We all have moments when we’ve snapped. For whatever the reason… exhaustion, stress, pressure, frustration… it happens to all of us. Take a minute to recall a time or two when this has happened to you as a parent. Didn’t you beat yourself up mercilessly? Well, our parents are the same way!

Here’s an opportunity to remember that about them. We are programmed with so much guilt! So, don’t add further shame to the mix by holding on to something that happened in the past that doesn’t even matter anymore. Forgiveness is the key to letting that go.

Reason 3: You Continue to Hurt YOURSELF by Not Letting Go…Forgive

Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Whatever happened, it’s over! It’s in the past. Let it go. Forgive and move on! The person who suffers the most by not forgiving is the person who can’t forgive. Life is too short to hold on to pain from the past. It’s unhealthy, and it blocks your full potential for happiness to come into your life. Now, isn’t THAT reason enough?

Forgive your parents. Love them for the people they are, in all their humanness.

Affirmation Statements:

LOVE IT!: I LOVE MY PARENTS FOR THE PEOPLE THEY ARE.

THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THE LESSONS I LEARNED FROM MY PARENTS.

BRING IT!: I AM A BETTER PARENT BECAUSE OF MY PARENTS.

Quote: “Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” – Oscar Wilde

If you like this, you may also like:

Fair is Fair: 3 Lessons I Learned from My Dad

15.509 Days… That’s Not Enough! Top 3 Lessons I Learned from My Mom

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