confidence Archives - America’s Mindset Coach

Build Confidence to Make a Great First Impression // EP54: I Have Today

October 15, 2019 // by kelly

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“When you love yourself, other people will too. End of story.” Kimberly Seltzer (29:44 – 29:48)

What you wear matters more than you think.

When you look in the mirror, do you love what you see? Or do you feel disappointed? Your response may have something to do with your wardrobe.

Kimberly Seltzer is a strong believer that you are what you wear. The LA-based Style and Confidence Coach works with men and women to find the right textiles and patterns that build a wardrobe of confidence.

Her “outside-in” approach will have you toss out your comfy cocoon clothes and stock up on power outfits that attract success. Are you ready for a complete makeover? Let’s find your personal style so you radiate confidence everywhere you go.

“It doesn’t matter what size you are. It doesn’t matter what age you are. How you look on the outside boosts your confidence and makes you feel better.” – Diane Forster (10:30 – 10:41)

After her divorce, Kim covered her curves in black and dismal materials. Any hint of color was out of the question. That was until a clothing department employee handed her a terrifying red dress that was two sizes too small.

Like Cinderella, Kim transformed before her very own eyes. She couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. As Kim marched out of that department store with her new dress in hand, she felt empowered and ready to take on the world.

That’s because when you look great, you feel great. So, how do you curate a wardrobe that builds confidence?

Kim’s Three Cs Style Formula to build confidence:

Color. Incorporate more color into your wardrobe. Color is a powerful force of attraction for success, money, and love. Use tones that compliment your skin and beckon double-takes.

Cut. There are so many shapes and sizes of women. Some are tall and lean, others are short and curvy. None are the same, but they’re all beautiful. Find clothes that fit your body type right so you can feel your best.

Confidence Clothes. What are your go-to outfits? The ones you pull for dates and special occasions every time! What is it about those clothes that work for you? Once you’ve figured it out, go shopping for more in the same style.

“You don’t have to change who you are. You want to market yourself so that people can get to know who you are.” – Kimberly Seltzer (20:47 – 20:55)

Style is an opportunity for others to get to know the real you. What you wear matters. But it’s less about the clothes and more about the attitude they inspire.

This week, go to your closet armed with Kim’s “Three Cs Formula” as a guide. Pick articles of clothing that complement your figure and skin tone and align with your personality. It’s time for the world to see who you are and what you’re all about.

Each week, we provide you with a mantra meditation, a fun, transformational way to apply the concepts in each episode. Tell yourself the story of what you want, without all of the limitations, and watch your life begin to change! Listen to this week’s mantra meditation to grow in self-love.

Letting go of the expectations of others, and growing in the confidence and love of who you are and all that you are capable of, is the only way to truly move forward in success and fulfillment. Each day, we are surrounded by people who are doing the best that they can. Listen in to this week’s mantra meditation, embrace self-compassion, and extend compassion to your relationships.

How to get involved

For more information about working with Diane and to gain access to valuable resources visit dianeforster.com.
You can contact Diane for coaching information at info@dianeforster.com.
To learn more about the EED Process discussed on today’s episode, get Diane’s book, I Have Today.
To learn more about Kim and receive her FREE gift, click here.
For more information about the Happiness Formula, click here.

If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a quick review on iTunes. It would mean the world to hear your feedback and we’d love for you to help us spread the word!

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Charge What You’re Worth and Ask for It Confidently

October 4, 2018 // by Diane Forster

I just returned from a weekend event put on by my friend and a woman I respect tremendously. Jennifer Diepstraten is the CEO of High Ticket Success Sales. She put on a wonderful event called, “Feel Great Selling!” She was also recently a guest on my show, “I Have Today with Diane Forster.” Jennifer is an absolute expert at helping people determine what their products and services are worth and creating ways to sell more while feeling really good doing it.

A lot of people say that they don’t like to sell, or to sound too “salesly.” They also have so many limiting beliefs around money! They don’t feel worthy of making a lot of money, or they were raised to believe that it’s greedy to want money. Perhaps they didn’t have much, so they have no idea what being that “Millionaire” they dream of would be like. So, they don’t dare to ever really FEEL like one, which means they will never, ever get there. You can’t have what you don’t feel, see, and believe you can have.

Because of these limiting beliefs, so many entrepreneurs are offering their products and services well below their value, and it’s costing them more than just financial woes. It’s imperative to charge what you are worth and do it with confidence and conviction. Here are three reasons why it’s so important to do so.

Time is Your Most Precious Commodity

You can always make more money, but you can never get TODAY back. Once the day is done, it’s gone forever. Your time is THE most valuable thing you have! If you aren’t maximizing and leveraging your time, you could be wasting precious hours, days, weeks, months, years of your life! Think about it…take a look at the way you use your time now. Are you spending most of it, the majority of it, doing what you LOVE to do and feeling GOOD about it? If you aren’t, you are wasting your time, wasting your life! You don’t have a single day of life to waste! If you’re not doing something you love and loving what you do, TODAY is the time to change it!

You Are More Knowledgeable, Talented and Experienced Than You Know

No two people are alike. No two perspectives, opinions, knowledge, experience, skills, talents, gifts. You are so uniquely talented, skilled and gifted in so many ways! When things come to us naturally, like second-nature, we don’t put any value on that. We assume, “doesn’t everybody think like this?” The answer is NO, they don’t! If you want to know how knowledgeable, talented and experienced you are, think about all the things you love doing, can do for long periods of time, or you can do very quickly and creatively. Those are your unique gifts and skills. People will pay handsomely for what you do. You just have to figure out what that is, fine tune it, and package it in an appealing, irresistible way. I help my clients do this all the time! When they see just how much VALUE they offer to someone, they get so excited!

When You Don’t Charge Enough, You Devalue Yourself

Have you ever been on the receiving end of a buy/sell conversation, and the person in front of you kept lowering the price, or throwing in more bonuses, despite the fact that you were saying, “no, thank you.” How did that make you feel? Did that instill any confidence in you that what was being offered was valuable? Probably not! Well, that’s what the potential buyer is thinking on their end when you discount your prices.

There’s a perception…the more you charge, the more you must be worth. And you are! You are worth it! If you take the time to lay out all your assets, benefits, skills, talents, gifts, your value can’t help but increase dramatically! So, stop cutting your rates! It’s not adding to your value…or your bottom line!

Selling is fun. It is easy. It is “being in service.” Selling is a part of life. Every conversation is a buy/sell conversation. Think about it. Are you asking for what you’re worth? If you don’t believe you are, TODAY is the perfect day to take a look at that and make a change.

Intention Statement: I HAVE TODAY to…serve in a really great way while being paid handsomely.

With Love,

Diane

Quote: “Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ” ~ M. Scott Peck

If you like this, you may also like:

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People Can Tell When You’re Faking It!

July 17, 2018 // by Diane Forster

Ok, so…get your mind out of the gutter, or bedroom, or wherever it is right now! That is NOT what I’m talking about! I’m talking about your IMAGE, your BRAND, and your INTENTION.

I had Karlos Copara, Brand Expert and “Creative Fireball” on my show last week. Watch the episode of I HAVE TODAY with Diane Forster featuring Karlos here. We had so much fun together…getting real and deep about authenticity.

The purpose of this topic is to illuminate something I see going on a lot in the entrepreneurial world. Everyone is trying so hard to figure out their “niche” and to be able to identify and distinguish themselves from the masses. However, what’s happening is it starts to look and feel very inauthentic and well, quite frankly, fake.

I know what I’m talking about because I went through it, too. You get so much feedback from others, you see and hear so much “noise” on social media, it’s no wonder people are doing what they can to stand out. Without a big budget or a large following, how do you get seen and heard?

I’m still a fairly new entrepreneur, and my fan base isn’t big…YET!!! But, it’s growing. It takes time to build relationships with people. Real relationships. Real fans. Real following. Authentic. Organic.

Here are three ways for you to “check in” with yourself and assess your authenticity:

When You’re Not “Authentic” It FEELS Bad!

You literally don’t feel good in your own skin as you hear yourself speaking to someone about who you are and what you do. They can feel that, too. Your vibration is sending off “bad vibes” and you don’t garner trust or believability that way. Bottom line…nobody feels good in those situations, and it’s costing you both! It’s costing you money and clients, and it’s costing them the opportunity to work with you.

Ask Yourself “Why” You’re Doing Something.

Don’t you just love this question? It gets right to the core! Dean Graziosi does an exercise in his book “Millionaire Success Habits” called the “Seven Levels Deep Exercise.” He shows you how to GO DEEP into your “WHY” and it’s very illuminating. When you completely understand WHY you do what you do, it makes your life so much easier! You sell effortlessly, you create real, authentic connections, you become a magnetic attractor to others JUST LIKE YOU, which is who your avatar is in the first place!!!

Just Be YOU Because You are Enough!

You are already enough, right now! You already know everything you need to know to do whatever it is you’re doing! You don’t need to “learn” more…just get out there and do it! You learn as you go! Books don’t teach…life experience teaches! People want YOU, just as you are! They need YOU and YOUR OWN UNIQUE GIFTS…because we all have our own, special ones that no one has quite like you! Just know that you are enough!!!

Being authentic and getting “real” with yourself…in all your “perfect imperfection”…is all you ever have to be!

Affirmation Statement:

“I HAVE TODAY to…be true to who I am!”

With Love,

Diane

Quote: “If you’re faking it, people will know, and it’s going to turn a lot of people off.” ~Billy Eichner

IF you liked this blog, you will love:

“Be the Cream…Rise to the Top”

“How to Keep Faith When What You Want Isn’t Coming”

Need a boost of Self-Confidence? Want more help getting over your self-doubt? Register for the “10 Days to Your Passion and Purpose Program.” Better Mindset, Better Decisions, Better Life.

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How to Raise Confident Kids: Empowering Our Younger Generation

July 10, 2018 // by Diane Forster

I had Marcy Morrison, Best Selling Author and Founder of Career With Wings, on I HAVE TODAY with Diane Forster (watch here) recently. Marcy is so passionate in her work and her life and helps others figure out their Passion + Purpose = World Change formula. We talked a lot about her path to finding her purpose, and when helping and supporting underprivileged youth became part of her passion and purpose as well.

We are both parents, and it’s important for us to instill strong values in our children. As parents, we always want what’s best for our kids. So, it got me thinking about ways we all can help foster empowerment in our younger generation.

Here are my top three ways to help foster empowerment in our younger generation:

Encourage Their Dreams!

I saw a Ted Talk by Emilie Wapnick titled, “Why Some of Us Don’t Have One True Calling” (watch here). She described that you could be a “Multipotentialite.” That is someone who has many interests and creative pursuits. Being a creator, with many interests myself, I LOVED this! As it relates to your children and the younger generation, we all need to be ENCOURAGING all their interests! Imagine telling a child “I’m sorry, Johnny, but you can only play with your trucks. You’re not allowed to dig in the sandbox, color with crayons, play basketball, or build with Lego’s.” The only way to find out if you really like something is to try it. If you don’t, for goodness sake, don’t keep doing it! Teach them that it is OK to QUIT and pursue another dream! I didn’t discover my true calling and purpose until I was in my 50’s. And, frankly, it continues to evolve all the time! So, please encourage them to pursue their dreams…all of them!

Talk to Them Like People

Don’t have a different way of communicating with your kids than you do with anybody else! Talk to them and treat them with the same level of respect as you would anyone. When you do, they will feel seen, heard, appreciated, acknowledged, and feel SAFE telling you anything! If you judge them, restrict them, worry more about what other people think than them, they will go into “self-protection mode” and shut off in some way. You may have given them life, but you were the conduit, the vessel. They are the ones that chose to come, and they have their own path and purpose. Encourage them, support them, give them freedom and room to safely express who they are and what they want. (Of course, within reason…nothing dangerous to anyone or themselves.) The best way is to talk to them like the PEOPLE they are.

Lead by Example

Words don’t teach. Action does. Children start modeling the adults surrounding them at around age 7. They are watching you…even into adulthood. Pursue YOUR dreams, don’t be afraid to quit or make changes if something isn’t working for you, and go after what YOU want. If you don’t, you teach them that their dreams don’t matter and that they need to put other people’s needs above theirs. You may be raising your eyebrows at me right now, and that’s ok. I will tell you first hand that the relationship with my children got richer and deeper when I went after my own dreams, picked up and moved cross country and reinvented my life. They were watching, they were paying attention, and now, they are both strong, independent young adults who are both pursuing their dreams without any fear of failure. They KNOW they’ll be ok. That is such a good feeling! We think we’re protecting them and helping them, but we are not! We hold them back and teach them to be fearful when we don’t go after our own dreams.

Our younger generation is our future. Part of living intentionally, the I HAVE TODAY way, is living in and owning our power. By raising confident, empowered kids, there’s less insecurity, more self-worth, and greater levels of happiness and fulfillment! These are all good things!