I had back-to-back situations with clients arise this morning whose current work circumstances are causing them depression. One client read my book, then did my “30 Day Challenge on How to Have a Better TODAY” and has told me her life is forever changed. However, she can’t seem to figure out the work piece of the puzzle. Too many “jobs” but no passion for anything she’s ever done or is currently doing. She doesn’t even know what she’s passionate about. She’s stuck. She’s also stuck in a time rut…she feels like there isn’t any time to do any of the things she would like to do to improve herself. This is so common with women. We put ourselves so far back on the priority list, we get mired down in the muck of our lives to the point where we can’t see the forest through the trees.
Another client has been dealing with the same situation for the past three years. She works for a boss who is completely unreasonable. He keeps all the high commission earning accounts for himself and gives her the lower commission accounts that take just as much, if not more, time to cultivate and acquire. She is a widow, with a child at home, and she needs the income that job provides for her desperately. She has no one to turn to. Her boss preys on her vulnerability and takes advantage of her situation to his advantage at every possible opportunity. Nice guy, huh? Because she isn’t confident enough to walk out, she stays and puts up with the mistreatment. This causes a whole host of health issues for her, making it even more difficult to earn an income because of her sick days.
What is predominant in both of these women is their lack of self-worth, and they are both suffering from depression. Is the job causing the depression…or is their depression keeping them stuck in these jobs? I think it’s both.
The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. We are magnets for what we say, what we think, and what we believe. My first client doesn’t think she has anything important to contribute, which is why she “works” jobs for the pay only. She can never get out from under that if she keeps saying, thinking and believing that’s true. She is lucky, though. She has the support of a loving, devoted husband who will do anything for her. Unfortunately, my second client doesn’t have that support. She currently has no real male role models in her life, so she succumbs to the behavior of a man who clearly has no respect for her.
When I transitioned out of my corporate job to become an Entrepreneur, it was crazy scary! I had some money saved, but I had been working full time since I was 19 years old. I spent 20 years at my last job. Needless to say, walking away without a net was not something I thought I’d ever do. Yet, when your heart is so heavy with unhappiness, you MUST do what you can to make that right. Life is way too short to spend even a day being unhappy!
Here are four steps to take when you are in this space and don’t have any idea how to get out:
You must first believe that things are ALWAYS working out in your favor. Always. The job you have is there to teach you something. Maybe it’s to learn greater self-confidence. Maybe it’s to make a connection with someone that you have no idea when or where that will serve you down the road. Maybe it is to hone in on what it is you REALLY want to do and what you’re meant to be doing, and it is merely a stepping stone on the journey along the way.
As hard as this may seem, do your very best to be grateful for the job you have…even if it’s causing you to feel depressed. Find SOMETHING to be grateful for about it. The Law of Relativity works well here…relative to some of the other jobs out there, your situation could always be worse, right? So, focus on the gifts you receive from this job…the money, flexibility, work from home, etc. It’s much easier to find something else when you focus on the good in your current situation.
REDO YOUR RESUME
This accomplishes two things. First, you’ll have it ready to go at a moment’s notice. That will definitely boost your confidence to have that piece of the process handled ahead of time. Remember the expression “Luck is when Preparation meets Opportunity.” You never know where opportunity will present itself, so be prepared. Second, when you update your resume, you will reflect on all your years of experience, which will remind you of how much you do really know, you are skilled at, and it will give you the sense of accomplishment, which you so rightly deserve to feel! You know more than you think you do!!!
Silly as it may sound, spend as much time as you can daydreaming about what you want your days to look like and feel like. How do you want to spend your time? What activities do you do where the hours go by and feel like minutes? If you can’t think of anything, that’s ok. Go back to your early childhood days and think about what you used to like to do back then. Draw, paint, dance, play ball, build with blocks. Remember that childlike feeling of just having fun for the sake of having fun. Then, close your eyes and hold on to that feeling for as long as you can. If any thoughts or ideas come up, take note of them. That is your inner guidance leading you to the answer of what your purpose is. It’s a worthwhile exercise, so enjoy it.
You don’t have to stay in a job or career you don’t like. You don’t have to live with the depression of going to a place day after day, feeling unfulfilled and unworthy. YOU GET TO DECIDE. You have that power! Own it! You CAN make a change, and it’s crazy scary…I get it! I’ve done it. However, once you make the leap, the net will be there, I promise. Just T.R.U.S.T.
Quote: “Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” ~ Steve Jobs