The benefits of forgiveness will affect you emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. There are so many articles written and research on the health benefits of forgiveness because it is such a fascinating topic. Some of the benefits are decreased anger and illnesses, increased hope, spiritual connection, and overall well-being, including living a longer, happier life! I believe that first comes love, then comes forgiveness.
We’ve all been hurt before, and yes, we’ve all hurt someone before. I know for me, learning how to forgive and let go was certainly a process. When we hold on to anger and resentment from a betrayal, it is like a permission slip to stay stuck where we are. When we talk about what happened…who did us wrong, how damaging it was…it allows others to take pity on us. We feel validated. We feel like we are right, while the other person is wrong. There is a benefit we get from it.
Here’s the thing…that so-called “benefit” is nothing more than a detriment to ourselves and our lives. Holding on to that pain is weighing us down like a ton of bricks. So, until we figure out how to let it go, we can’t truly move on with our lives completely and fully. Here are some of the effects that being unwilling to forgive may be having on your life:
- You bring anger, bitterness and resentment into every relationship and experience.
- You spend more time living in the past, being unable to fully enjoy the present moment.
- Your feelings will manifest into diseases.
- You will miss out on all the richness and wonderment that your life has to offer.
When I was going through my personal transformation, forgiveness was one of the first things I started with. I began with forgiving myself. We are so hard on ourselves, and even though I had plenty of reason to point the finger at my ex, I was the hardest on myself. If we are being truly honest with ourselves, the person we blame first is us. I did. I asked myself, “Why would I allow myself to live like this? Why would I let myself be treated this way? Why was I okay with living in such an unfulfilling relationship?” And so on. It was these questions that sent me on a quest to figure out how to learn how to forgive in a way that was easy, and most importantly, permanent.
Let’s look at the 3 Steps to Easily and Permanently Forgive Anyone of Anything:
Follow the Three Levels of Forgiveness
In my book, “I Have Today…Find Your Passion, Purpose and Smile…Finally!”…I talk about the Three Levels of Forgiveness that I’ve created. The first level is to forgive yourself. As I’ve stated above, it seems to always come down to us. Since perception is projection, we may be looking to point the finger at another for something that happened, but that is the area within ourselves that needs forgiving. That is why forgiveness of SELF first is SO important! The second level is to forgive the other person. That is a difficult pill for people to swallow, but what we need to understand is that we are not hurting them by blaming them and holding on to it. We are only hurting OURSELVES. By forgiving the other person, we do not negate the incident. Instead, we release the choke hold of the pain it’s creating within us. We MUST forgive them in order to move on. We MUST look at them the way God looks at them. In His eyes, we are all forgiven. The third step is to forgive yourself AGAIN. What I mean by that is at some point, this event will pop back into your mind. Either it gets brought back up, or you’re reminded of it in some way, but it WILL rear its ugly head again. That is the moment you stop it in its tracks. Go back to basecamp and start with forgiveness of SELF again. You’ve already lived through the pain before…the last thing you want is to feel it again! Release and let it go.
Chant “I FORGIVE YOU”
I created a video called the “I FORGIVE YOU CHANT.” PLEASE USE THIS! It is a VERY effective tool for forgiveness. When you chant the words “I FORGIVE YOU” over and over again, you send forgiveness energy to every one of the trillions of cells in your body, which is so HEALING! You also emit that forgiving energy out into the universe, which has a ripple effect on everyone and everything. It’s SO powerful! When I started practicing this, so many emotions came up for me. Tears were streaming down my face. It was so cleansing and cathartic. I couldn’t get over how light and free I felt afterwards. This is what I mean when I say forgiveness is so freeing. I highly encourage you to try this powerful process.
Stop Thinking and Talking About It!
Whatever happened to you is in your PAST. The only one keeping it alive is YOU! The thoughts you have and the words you speak about it will keep the pain real for you. I’m not suggesting you haven’t been hurt and don’t have the right to feel pain from painful experiences. We all do. However, the difference between someone who can’t seem to let go of it and someone who’s moved on is in their thoughts and their words associated with it. For instance, I could talk about what happened with my ex and get sympathy from whomever I’m sharing it with. But, that keeps me living in the past. I have forgiven him, I have forgiven me, and I have moved on. Since I was able to do that, I opened myself up to the extraordinary life I am now living. Everything I am doing and every single blessing in my life is a result of my forgiveness of self and others. I don’t ever speak ill of him, and I genuinely wish him well. Now, that is POWER! Feeling anything less than that only hurts ME. It does not hurt him.
If you implement these three steps, I promise you, you will now have the tools you need to easily and permanently learn how to forgive. How exciting would it be to be able to just let go?!? I can tell you, being able to forgive everyone has changed me in such a profound way.
We can’t change the events that occur in our lives. But, we can change our ASSOCIATION to the events, thereby changing our EMOTIONS attached to them! What a huge A-HA!!!
When I first started to REALLY work on this, I looked within to where I needed to love myself more. Remember, it’s never about the other person. It’s about our interpretation. It is also a DECISION. I write about CHOICE and DECISION a lot because it is always within our power to decide how we want to FEEL about anything!
DECIDE to forgive YOU, the other person, or the events that occurred. Come out of it on the other side stronger, more confident, braver, and focus on the life IN FRONT OF YOU, not behind you! Our cars have large windshields and tiny rear-view mirrors. They represent a metaphor for our lives. The small rear-view mirror is simply a tool to look back on occasionally as a reference point. Don’t focus or linger there. Focus on the expansiveness that is ahead of you! That is what’s possible. That is what is exciting! That is why forgiveness is SO FREEING!!!
LOVE IT!: I AM FORGIVING!
THANK IT!: I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY POWER TO FORGIVE!
BRING IT!: I KNOW HOW FREEING IT IS TO FORGIVE!
Quote: “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.