EP27: How To Not Take Things So Personally // I Have Today Podcast

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Greg Friedman is a modern version of a timeless role that transcends each culture, a spiritual guide and mentor. He builds bridges and clears paths, in part, by taking the ancient wisdom of indigenous cultures and making it applicable to everyday life. Greg works with clients one-on-one, in workshops, as a couples’ referee and translator, as well as taking small groups of people all over the world to work with indigenous elders with shamanic traditions in remote destinations.

You are not responsible for the actions of others.

If you’re easily offended when someone says or does something that you perceive to be unpleasant, you might be taking things too personally. Take a moment to consider how this tendency might be affecting your life – how is it impacting you financially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually? While we’ve all heard the advice not to take things too personally, often it is easier said than done. Here, we’ll discuss why it makes sense to stop worrying about what others may think or say, and we’ll provide you some tools to do so.

“The more you get to know yourself, the less consequential it becomes how other people feel about you.” – Greg Friedman (20:06 – 20:15)

It doesn’t make sense to take things personally because nothing other people say or do is because of you. We’re all the authors of our own stories, and everyone else is simply a character within. That also means that you’re a character in everyone else’s story. Consequently, people seldom see you as you really are, but they see you through the lens of their story, and of what they’ve experienced. You’re the only one who knows the real you, and that doesn’t change regardless of someone else’s opinion of you.

Three things you can do not to take things personally.

Next time you’re in a situation when you feel the urge to take things personally and react to someone, try the following three techniques to regain control of your emotions.

Breathe – Slow down for a second and take a deep breath. It may seem simplistic, but feeling calmer is only one deep breath away at all times. A deep breath will deactivate the stress response system within your body and allow you to think clearly and accurately about the situation.

Think – The next step is to recognize that whatever the other person is saying or doing has nothing to do with you. You’re not responsible for their actions, you’re merely a temporary receptor of where their story has led them at that moment. You have no control over anyone else’s actions, but you do have control over your response.

Praise – The final step is to recognize that the other person is doing their best, and praise them as they are. After all, you can’t judge them because you probably don’t know the entire story of what is happening in their life.

Accepting them as they are doesn’t mean you need to let them walk all over you. When you allow yourself the space to walk through these steps, you’ll have the clarity to decide how to respond, instead of reacting.

“In order for people to gain perspective, sometimes you have to get them away from everything they’re used to.” – Greg Friedman (26:14 – 26:24)

Imagine walking through life with a backpack full of stones. Each time you make a choice not to take things personally, you lose a stone. Soon, you develop a habit of responding with intention instead of letting others control your emotions, and you are able to move through life feeling light and effortless.

Every moment is a choice between acting and reacting. When you react, you’re merely existing as a victim, but when you act you will have the ability to fully experience the beauty of living an empowered life. Breathe. Think. Praise. And empty out that backpack.

How to get involved

  • For more information about working with Diane and to gain access to valuable resources visit dianeforster.com.
  • You can contact Diane for coaching information at info@dianeforster.com.
  • To learn more about the EED Process discussed on today’s episode, get Diane’s book, I Have Today.  
  • Check out Diane’s brand new 10-day program designed to help you discover the secrets to having it all…love, money, success, and happiness, for only $10.
  • Listen to Greg’s radio program.
  • Stay up-to-date on upcoming journeys with Greg.
  • For more information about Greg visit gregfriedman.com.

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