America’s Mindset Coach. Intentional living expert.

3 Powerful Decision-Making Strategies for more Time, Money and Freedom

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How are your decision-making skills?  Are they what she should be, or could they be improved?  Do you know that bad decision-making skills could be costing you money?  What’s worse is it could be costing you your precious time.

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what your decision-making skills are like?  I used to think I was a very decisive person.  In many ways I am, but I learned very quickly once I started to deeply look at it that I could be a MUCH better decision maker.  I realized that my lack of stronger decision-making skills was holding back SO much more of what I wanted.  So, what did I do?  I DECIDED to change that behavior.  I DECIDED to make being a better decision maker a priority in my life. 

Why do so many people have such a hard time making decisions?  It doesn’t matter if the decisions are small or big, many people struggle.  Why?  They are terrified of making the dreaded MISTAKE!  What most people don’t realize is that there is no such thing as a mistake…there are only lessons along the way.  The beautiful thing about making a decision that you end up not liking is you can always just make ANOTHER DECISION.  Boom!  It’s that simple!  Just make a new decision!

How many of you have stayed in a job too long?  Or, a relationship too long?  How many times did you have a “gut” reaction to something but ignored it.  Then, you ultimately regretted ignoring it because what it meant was you made a decision to hang on to something way too long.  How often have you thought “Oh, he’ll change” or “she’ll change.”  If you’ve said those words or had those thoughts before, then you know it does not work like that.  But, our fear of the unknown keeps us in situations and relationships longer than we should be because we are afraid to make a decision to change the circumstances.  The truth is…by NOT deciding to change them, we keep away the things we truly want.  We need to DECIDE that our happiness and our desires matter more than anything else, we need to keep that at the front of our minds, and make all of our decisions based on what’s RIGHT for us!

If you’re an entrepreneur, there are major decisions that come up every day.  Without good decision making skills, you could be costing yourself so much time and money.  You HAVE to master this skill in order for your business to not only survive, but to thrive!

Here are three strategies how to have very strong decision-making skills to powerfully impact your life in a positive way:

Strategy 1

You cannot make a decision until you know your DESIRED OUTCOME.  If you don’t know that, then it stands to reason why you may make decisions that you later regret.  Also, you can’t get to your desired outcome from the same state you started out in. 

Therefore, follow this winning formula to make BETTER decisions.  By knowing your desired outcome, you can set the intentions that will create the outcome.  Once you set your intentions to lead you to your desired outcome, you can start moving in direction of your intentions that will create your desired outcome.

The Formula:  (M + I) = O   

Movement towards your Intentions will create your Outcome.

Decide your Outcome.

Set the necessary Intentions to get there.

Move towards each intention.

Put this formula on several post-it notes and stick them all over your home, office, and car.  By seeing these constant reminders, you’ll trigger your brain to be focused on your desired outcomes all day long.  This will help you tremendously in making quick, better decisions.

Strategy 2

Practice making quick decisions all day long.  From the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed, DECIDE, DECIDE, DECIDE.  Decide whether to work out.  Decide what to wear.  Decide what to eat.  Decide where to go.  Decide whether to say “yes” or “no” to that contract.  Decide, Decide, Decide. 

In order to get good at making major decisions, you have to first fine-tune your decision making skills for the small things.  What to wear, where to eat, where to go, etc.  Do your best not to hmmm and ummm.  Just say the first thing that comes to you.  Then, do it!

Once you “master” those decisions, which believe it or not, are so difficult for some people, then you can start to really master bigger decisions, like should I go out with him, should I hire that person, should I buy that car, should I move, should I change jobs?

Strategy 3

Listen to or read books on Decision Making.  One of the best books I’ve ever read was “Essentialism” by Greg McKeown.  Here is a link to his site:

http://gregmckeown.com

This book changed my life in so many ways!  Greg eloquently breaks down the four steps to create a life that allows you to DECIDE what’s most important to you in your life, to weed out what isn’t, and how to live with more focus.  “The Essentialist” only says yes to the top 10% of opportunities and asks, “Is this exactly what I am looking for?”  When you drill down what is truly important to you, you base all of your decisions on that criteria, which creates a much smoother, calmer, peaceful, fulfilling, happy life!

We all seem to be racing towards something and feel like if we don’t say “yes” to everything, we may be missing out on an opportunity.  However, without knowing first and deciding what’s important to us, we have no focal point to direct us.  Like I said before, you can’t go wrong, because if you don’t like a decision, YOU GET TO MAKE ANOTHER DECISION TO CHANGE THAT DECISION!  Don’t you love that!?!

The most important fact I want you to walk away with is this:  YOU ARE THE ONE IN POWER!  You are the one who gets to decide about EVERYTHING in your life!  So, DECIDE what’s right for YOU!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  I LOVE THAT I GET TO DECIDE ABOUT EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY STRONG DECISION-MAKING SKILLS!

BRING IT!  IT’S MY LIFE, AND I’M THE ONE THAT DECIDES WHAT’S RIGHT FOR ME!

 

Quote:  “Unsuccessful people make decisions based on their current situation; successful people make decisions based on where they want to be.” – Anonymous

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3 Tips to Get Everything You Want by Asking the Right Questions

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Wouldn’t it be nice to get everything you want in life?  Well, it’s possible!  You just need to know how to ask.  So many of my clients come to me with questions.  They want to know why they can’t find a man who loves them, or a career that makes them a nice income that they enjoy, or time to do the things they want to do.  They struggle with being tired and suffer from low energy.  They WANT more out of their lives, but they just don’t know how to do it.

One of the three areas I focus on when working with my clients is language.  I talk about the importance of the words we say and the thoughts we think being responsible for everything that shows up in our lives…everything!  But, it’s not just in the words we say; it’s the WAY we say them as well.  Asking questions is one of the most POWERFUL ways we attract what we have into our lives.  Therefore, it is vitally important that we are asking ourselves the RIGHT questions.

Let me explain a little further.  If you want to lose weight, but you ask yourself “Why can’t I lose weight?” you will not lose weight.  The emphasis is on “can’t lose weight.”  All your energy is focused on the frustration and the defeat.  You end up feeling bad about yourself, and you doubt yourself.  Everything in that question is laced with negative energy.  You can’t move in a positive direction in that state using words like that.


Here is a list of three tips to uncover and unlock the secrets to using the RIGHT questions to attract everything you want into your life.

Turn Your “Worry” into “Wonder”

I could remove any word from the dictionary and our language, the first word I would remove is “worry.”  It is such a wasted emotion.  So many people spend so much of their time worrying!  Think about all the things you worry about, then look back to see how many of those things actually came true.  This is a topic I talk about a lot because it’s worth repeating over and over again.  To help you get started, I’ve created a list of ten powerful questions designed to create triggers when you say the word “worry.”

Here is a list of better questions to be asking:

Use these questions:

I wonder, how it would feel to (fill in the blank)?

I wonder, what would it take to (fill in the blank)?

Sample Questions:

  • Have a job I really loved.
  • Be in a loving, romantic relationship with an amazing, trustworthy partner.
  • Be fit and healthy.
  • Wake up early and feel excited about the day ahead.
  • Have so much money that I never have to think about what I spend.
  • Live in a world where I’m loved and accepted just as I am.
  • Work when I want to work and play when I want to play.
  • Know that I’m OK just the way I am and feel really good about that.
  • Feel happy every single day.
  • Get along better with my family (boss, partner, kids, etc.)

Replace “I Am/I Was” with “The Person I Used to Be”

Did you know that “I AM” means God?  God said to Moses when he asked him his name “I am that I am.”  God, or whatever you believe, is in all of us.  There is no separation.  We are all connected.  When we use “I am” we are stating something as in past, present, future.  When we say “I was” we are definitely living in our past, but it still connects us to now.  What does all this mean?  It means that if we want to change our current circumstances, we need to change our connection and association to events from our past and our current “reality.”  How can we do that?  Simply by changing statements and questions as follows:

Examples:

From:  Why am I so undesirable?

To:  The person I used to be was undesirable, but why am I now so desirable?

From:  Why was I so stupid?

To:  The person I used to be would call me stupid, but why is it so easy to see how smart I am now?

Exercise:

  • Write down ten defeating questions you say to yourself or others.
  • Then, REWRITE them using this formula.

The OUTCOME:

You will begin to pick up the pattern you’re stuck in, and start speaking about yourself in a much kinder, more loving manner.

Create Questions That Put Your Subconscious to Work FOR You

When I read Noah St. John’s book “Afformations” my eyes were opened up to the power of asking “WHY” questions instead of just stating affirmations.  After I read that book, I started saying to myself “Why does this day keep getting better and better?”  If you’ve done my 30 DAY CHALLENGE ON HOW TO HAVE A BETTER TODAY, that is Day 1’s Challenge.  That is such a powerful question with so many legs to it.  I’ll change it up and replace “day” with “week” or “month” or “YEAR!”  It’s so much fun to say “Why does this year keep getting better and better?”  When we ask that question, our subconscious starts searching all the files, stored memories and experiences, and goes out of its way to MAKE SURE your day, week, month, or year keep getting better and better.

Your assignment is to come up with a DAILY MANTRA question like this one for you.  Feel free to use this one, because it’s so effective and EASY TO REMEMBER.   But, here are some other suggestions:

  • Time Challenged: Why do I have so much time?
  • Stressed Out: Why does my life move with such ease and flow?
  • Lack of Focus: Is what I’m doing right now moving my life forward?
  • Money Mindset: Why is it so easy for me to make money?
  • Low Self-Esteem: Why am I so confident and capable?

It may seem crazy, but this stuff works! By creating more awareness about the way you speak and ask questions, and by being INTENTIONAL with the questions you ask and the words you choose, you can easily shift what occurs in your life.  The difference between someone who says “Why can’t anything ever go right for me?” versus “Why are things always working out for me?” is evident by what’s happening in their lives.  So, what’s showing up for you?

Breaking old paradigms and programming that’s been embedded in us for many, many years doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen faster than you think.  Step one is creating the awareness and step two is reframing the questions.  Step three is what shows up.  Start with these three tips, have fun with it (because life is supposed to be fun), and be easy on yourself when you first start doing this.  It’s a new habit you’re creating, and it takes time.  And here’s the best part…you’ll gain greater self-awareness.  That is always a good thing!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!:  WHY DO I GET EVERYTHING I WANT?

THANK IT!:  WHY DOES MY LIST OF THINGS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR KEEP GROWING?

BRING IT!:  HOW CAN LIFE POSSIBLY BE THIS GOOD!?!

 

Quote:  “The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge.”  – Thomas Berger

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Three Steps to a Better Appearance

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Take a look at yourself!  Do you realize that other people don’t see us the same way we see ourselves?  Do you ever wonder what people think when you first appear?  What do people say about you behind your back when you walk away?  It’s often been said that you never get a second chance to make a first impression.  That may be true, but that doesn’t mean that the impression you first make has to be the one that sticks.

One of the biggest problems in the world today is lack of self-awareness.  If people had more self-awareness, they would rethink some of the decisions they make on what they say and do that is effecting others around them.  If they made more conscious decisions about their effect on others and the impression they leave with others, there would be less friction and more cohesiveness among everyone.

Therefore, in order to have more peaceful relationships, we need to become more conscious of our behavior with others, which would allow us the power to make better decisions when it comes to others, creating better and stronger self-awareness.

There are different levels of lack of self-awareness.  Take, for instance, the ego-maniac.  Their only concern is for themselves, and they have no regard for anyone else’s feelings or opinions.  (Sound like anyone you know??)  That characteristic is taking the “self” to the extreme.  On the opposite end is the person who is socially awkward, shy and doesn’t have the skills to appear confident.  There is a full spectrum of characteristics in between these two extremes.  Where do you fit in?

Do you ever look back at a video recording of yourself and think any of the following:

  • Is that what I look and sound like?
  • I look so calm on the outside, but inside, I was shaking like a leaf!
  • I look so (fill in the blank…angry, sad, mad, etc.) but I wasn’t feeling that way at all.

What we “see” inside our heads is very different than what the rest of the world sees.  I met a woman at an event I attended recently.  She had a scowl on her face most of the time.  When I finally had an opportunity to spend time with her and get to know her, I realized I completely misread her.  Once she opened up her mouth to speak, what I saw and heard was a very shy, insecure, sweet woman who was just trying to figure out where she fit in.  I’m certain that if she could see herself from the vantage point I had, she would be shocked and surprised that her demeanor on the outside was very different from what was going on inside.    Can’t we all relate to that?  It wasn’t that I was judging her.  I simply misread her.  This happens to people all the time.  They get labeled one thing or another simply by being just who they are.

What does all this mean, and why should we care?  It means that if you are a person who cares for others, which I’m sure you are, then it’s important to know how others see you.  I’ve known people who have had people disappear from their lives without ever letting them know why.  They never got the opportunity to find out if they said or did something they were unaware of.  That’s painful!  What’s worse…I’m willing to bet that the person who walked away misunderstood the other person.   So, if there’s a way to tap into your own self-awareness and get a greater sense of what others see and experience from you, you have a much better chance of avoiding misunderstandings.

So, how do people see you?  Here’s three steps to help you be seen the way you WANT to be seen:

Own Your Mistakes!

We all screw up!  What most of us don’t do, is own it!  Our egos are either too big or we’re too afraid to appear weak by saying “I’m sorry.”  This may seem unrelated to this topic, but trust me, it is very appropriate.  Being able to be vulnerable instills trust.  Think about this for a moment:  Have you ever known friends or family members who had trouble getting along, then something happens, and the family members are no longer speaking to one another?  They keep the grudge and the issue going and going.  No one is big enough to step up and apologize first.  Families and relationships break up over misunderstandings like this all the time!  If our self-esteem were stronger, we could avoid these situations more.  That takes a clear understanding of self and the ability to see someone from THEIR perspective.

Ask Five People to Describe 5 Things About Your Character and Personality

No comments like “nice hair” or “good driver.”  Tell them that you are working on a self-improvement project and their honesty and candor are critical to the success of the project.  Here’s the deal, though.  You CANNOT, under any circumstances, get upset with them if they write down something you don’t like!  That’s the point, silly!  You are trying to see yourself from another’s perspective.  This is a phenomenal exercise!  You’ll get a sense of what you consider to be good traits and a list of traits you may want to shift and make better.  If you didn’t do this exercise, YOU’D NEVER KNOW!  What a gift!  Additionally, another benefit is you will see yourself in a new light and you’ll only want to hang around with people who make you feel good, who bring out the best in you and whose company you enjoy spending time with.  With this new clarity, you’ll now have a better “people filter” system.

Be Present and Don’t Make Assumptions

Whatever situation you’re in, be sure to be PRESENT!  When you’re present, your eyes are wide open and bright, and you’re engaged.  The heightened level of awareness will allow you to “tune in” to people on a deeper level.  They’ll be able to feel that from you and want to spend more time near you.  It’s a magnetic attracter.  You’ll have a greater sense of CONFIDENCE about you.  That’s what will shine through!  So, be more present, more aware, and you’ll become more confident!  Also, don’t assume anything about anyone!  As one of the “Four Agreements” Don Miguel Ruiz states that when we make assumptions, we believe they are the truth.  Then, we take them personally, blame them, then react by sending poison with our word.  And that, my friends, is how talking behind someone’s back occurs.  It’s toxic.

We live in a world where people are judged so unfairly.  The haves and have nots, the rich and the poor, the weak and the strong, the young and the old, the smart and the stupid, the good and the bad, your religion versus my religion, and so on.  if we would judge less and accept more, people would be able to feel more confident and less insecure.  If they did, they would smile more and carry themselves in a much stronger, taller, more confident manor.  Hence, being much easier to read.  Enjoy this new level of empowerment, clarity and self-awareness!

 

LOVE IT!:  I AM PRESENT AND SELF-AWARE!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY SELF-AWARENESS!

BRING IT!:  I DECIDE HOW I WANT TO BE SEEN AND HEARD!

 

Quote:  “The best way to know who we are is often to find out how others see us.”  – Paulo Coelho

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3 Ways to Pay Closer Attention to the Signs

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Do you ever notice the signs that are all around you?  Take numbers, for instance.  Do you ever see the same patterns of numbers?  For me, I see 8’s and 4’s everywhere.  If you follow astrology or angel numbers, then you know what the numbers represent.  If not, 8 is the sign of infinity and represents unlimited abundance.  It’s also associated with business, success and wealth.   The number 4 means that angels are around you (I always feel Archangel Michael around me), and it also represents stability, calmness and being grounded.  The number 4 is also the earth’s number…4 seasons, 4 directions, 4 elements.

Whenever I see them together, 84, 48, 484, 848, 488 etc., I feel my angels letting me know that they “have my back” and are watching over me and guiding me.  I smile and feel the love, and I pay attention to what I’m thinking and what I’m doing at the time.

What numbers do you see, and what do they represent to you?  If you don’t know, start paying attention to them.  I promise you, you have certain numbers that show up in your life.  Do you ever see number patterns, like 11:11 on the clock or 123?  If you notice patterns like this, you’re being guided!  If you don’t know what the numbers mean, google them to find out what the message is you’re supposed to be receiving.

What about music?  Have you ever noticed that you may be thinking about someone, then, all of a sudden, a song comes on that reminds you of them?  Or conversely, you will hear a song and think about someone and then shortly thereafter, you’ll hear from them.  Music is one of the ways the universe guides us.  We hear the music, and we become transformed into another time…sometimes it’s a memory from the past, and sometimes it’s a vision or daydream in the future.  That is guidance.  We need to pay attention to our thoughts and emotions in those moments and think about what the deeper meaning could be.   

There are other signs, too.  Just like with numbers and music, you may have noticed patterns when the same word or phrase, name, or person keeps coming up.  That’s a sign you need to do something about that and take some action!  It might be to reach out to that person.  It might be to commit to something or release something.  When you see and/or hear something two or three times, or more, that is definitely worth noting to pay attention!

Do you ever hear “that little voice” leading you to go one way instead of another, or do something different while you’re doing something else?  I hear voices all the time, and no, I’m not crazy.  I hear the inner voice that is literally guiding me and pointing me in the right direction.  I am not special, though.  We all have that power to tune in and hear.   

All of these things are signs.  These signs are little clues from the universe that is trying to light up and guide your path.  There are two ways to do things…the easy way, or the more difficult way.  When you pay attention to these little clues and follow the signs, your life moves in a much more effortless fashion.

The problem is most people don’t realize this is happening, and therefore, they miss the signs right in front of them.

Let me tell you how you can create greater awareness of the signs all around you so that you can move through your life with much greater ease.  Last week, the subject was about inner guidance and intuition.  This week, it’s about the outside guidance.  When we pay attention to the outside signs AND tune in to our inner guidance…WHOA, magic happens!

Break Patterns

First, in order to become more aware of these signs, one of the best ways to create awareness is to break patterns and do things differently.  For instance, sleep on the opposite side of the bed than you normally do, brush your teeth with your other hand, mix up your morning routine, take a different route to work.  By changing up your routine, you’re breaking your patterns of unconscious behavior, which stems from the basal ganglia part of the brain.  What happens is we get stuck in a rut, and when we do, we go into cruise control mode.  We do things out of habit and our brains fall asleep.  We get stuck in our own little bubble of a world, so we can’t see so many of the signs right in front of us.  By shaking up your routine, we activate the frontal cortex of the brain, responsible for making decisions, and we can see things more clearly, like the signs!

Know and Believe That Something Much Greater Exists

Second, I hope that if you’re reading this, you know and believe that something much greater is going on in this world than what we can plainly see with our eyes and hear with our ears.  With that said, the universal forces and energy are positive and filled with love.  The signs we receive are for our own good, for our well-being, and for our protection.  The reason I say all of this is because I work with many clients who feel like the whole world is against them.  They feel so stuck and depressed, and they believe that nothing will ever go right for them.  This could not be further from the truth.  I do my best to guide them to instead believe that things are actually always working out for them, but it’s their limiting beliefs, and lack of faith and trust that they are so divinely loved and supported by the universe that keeps all the abundance that they desire away from them.  All I can say is that my words will not teach, but I hope these words influence and create an opportunity within you to be open to the possibilities.  None of us want to live this life alone, and when we realize that we are never, ever, ever truly alone, there’s comfort and faith in that.  Trust the signs and the guidance that comes to you.  It’s real.

Ask Questions Aloud

Third, ask for more guidance by asking more questions aloud.  If something isn’t going right in your life or you want to know the answers to the questions you have, ask them aloud!  Ask loudly and proudly!  Ask anything you want!  Ask all day, every day, day and night.  You WILL receive your answers!  You WILL get the guidance you seek!  But, you need to be actively looking and listening in for the clues and the answers.  They are all around you.  So, first ask, then pay attention! (If you don’t know the questions to ask, fear not.  I’ll be doing a blog on asking the right questions very soon.)

The signs are all around us and available to us anytime we want to see them.  We just need to ask, trust, and PAY ATTENTION!  Have fun with this because, I can promise you this, if you master these skills, your life will run a whole lot more smoothly!

Watch the Webinar!

LOVE IT!: I LOVE BEING GUIDED IN MY LIFE BY ALL OF THE SIGNS!

THANK IT:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY ABILITY TO SEE THE SIGNS IN MY LIFE!

BRING IT:  THE SIGNS ARE EVERYWHERE, AND I FEEL LOVED AND SUPPORTED!

 

Quote:  “Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you’re riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!” – Bob Marley

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3 Ways to Tune In and Trust

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Do you ever notice that some people seem to have excellent instincts?  They make decisions quickly, and they somehow appear to always be the right ones.  Then again, there are others who seem to be a harried mess most of the time.  They live their lives in a bit of chaos, and things always appear to go “wrong” for them.  What if the solution to their problem was to just sit still in silence more often?  Seems crazy, right?  How could sitting around, doing nothing, produce actual results?  Well, the truth is stopping to tune in is a very productive use of time.  

Every time I’ve made, what I would consider, a mistake, it was because I didn’t take the time to stop, breathe, and tune in to my intuition.  I let outside sources guide me instead of going within, where all the answers literally are!

The meaning of intuition is the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.  So, where does that come from?  It’s not logical, but it’s a knowing.  It’s a FEELING.  As spiritual beings having a human experience, our communication and interaction stems from emotions and feelings, not logic. 

We don’t have one mind.  We have three minds.  Our head, our heart and our gut.  Think about it…how many times have you heard “it just didn’t feel right in my gut,” “I am heart-broken,” or “my head says ‘yes’ but my heart says ‘no.’” We feel in our heart and gut, and we think with our brain.  Our three minds tell us what the truth is.  When something feels good inside our bodies, that is a definite “yes.”  However, if something doesn’t feel right, we feel that, too.  That’s intuition.  We must trust it.

I am blessed with the ability to hear my guidance as well.  As an intuitive, my connection comes in the sound of voices expressing words inside my head.  Sometimes, it’s as if someone is standing next to me whispering in my ear.  It’s always in my right ear.  I call them my angels.  For those who believe in it, they understand.  For those who don’t, it makes me sound insane.  All I know is that those voices in my head have been there for me in times when I really needed them, and I’ve made many positive decisions in my life because of them.  Do you ever hear voices?  Are you staying quiet enough for long enough to listen in? 

Our souls know everything!  We are being divinely guided by universal forces every second of every day of our lives!  The key is to be able to tune in to the messages we are receiving.  Have you ever been betrayed by a lover?  Deep down, did you know before the truth was revealed?  Almost every person I’ve ever spoken to has said they “knew.”  They may not have had proof, but DEEP DOWN (gut), they knew.  We know when things feel right, too.  Our hearts feel big and warm.

Wouldn’t it be great to dial up your intuition so that you could make better, quicker decisions in your life?  Wouldn’t it also be great to TRUST YOURSELF more and stop your second-guessing?

Meditate

Sitting quietly for 15-20 minutes a day will literally change your life.  Sitting with your eyes closed, or staring at the flame of a candle, is all you need to do.  Listening for the sound of the birds outside, or the hum of air conditioner will keep your mind calm and still.  Do your best to keep it focused on the object you’re listening to.  You may start to get some ideas.  Let them come in.  That is your inner voice communicating with you. 

Tune In

Tune in to your body and figure out where you FEEL your intuition.  As I mentioned, we have three minds.  Personally, for me, when something feels good, I feel it in my heart, and it feels amazing!  I feel like I can fly!  I feel energized and excited.  But, when something doesn’t feel right, I get that knotted-up ball in the pit of my stomach feeling.  It feels awful.  That is how I know whether a decision is a yes or a no.  Start to become aware of where in your body you feel things, when you feel them, and what is happening at the time.  It’s such a powerful guidance system.

Keep a Pen and Paper on Your Night Stand

Keep a pen and paper on your night stand next to you while you sleep.  Our souls communicate with us in the middle of the night.  I have written more poetry in the middle of the night than in daylight.  I get bursts of brilliant ideas in the middle of the night.  Some nights, I wake up and need to write down paragraphs of thoughts and ideas.  When we slumber and our bodies and mind are at rest, we are the most receptive to receiving our messages.  If you wake up with something on your mind, write it down.  Then, look at it in the morning and either do something with it, or toss it after you’ve read it and acknowledged it. 

Keep up all three of these practices.  These steps will help you tune in to your intuition rapidly.  You’ll begin to FEEL your answers immediately.  In any and every situation, stay quiet a little longer than you normally would and allow yourself to listen in and feel for the answers.  Psychics, mediums, those who channel, angel readers, intuitive people (like me) are gifted, but everyone has the power to do what they do.  They were either born with or mastered the art of heightened awareness and intuition, but we all can do it.  We just need to listen in more, to tune in, and to trust.

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LOVE IT!:    I TRUST MY INTUITION!

THANK IT!!:  I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR MY INTUITION!

BRING IT!:  MY POWER AND CONFIDENCE COMES FROM TRUSTING MY INTUITION!

 

Quote: “You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” – Alan Alda

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Watch What You Say…3 Ways to Change ANY Situation

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I once heard Zig Ziglar say on one of his motivational recordings that there were no reported cases of any American Indians who stuttered.  Do you know why?  It’s because they don’t have a word for “stutter.”  To them, it simply does not exist.  That story got me thinking about what it would be like to “remove” words from my vocabulary and the impact it would have on my life.

So, I began a quest to do my best to remove words that I felt didn’t serve me.  Some of the words that popped up immediately were hate, can’t, always, never, stupid, worry, and anything derogatory.

Did you know that everything that’s showing up in your life is a direct reflection of the words you’re using and the thoughts you’re thinking?  It’s true.  We get what we speak about and think about, whether we want it or not.  For most of us, it’s unconscious…we don’t even give it any thought.

If you said, “I’m never going to get out of debt” you’ll wind up with more debt.  If you said, “I wish I could get out of debt” you’ll STILL wind up with more debt.  It doesn’t seem fair, right?  Here’s how it works…the universe only understands one word, and that word is “yes.”  What I mean by that is, in both of those sentences, the focus is on the word “debt.”  Therefore, what you get is more of what you don’t want.  However, you could say, “I wonder what it would feel like to be financially free.”  Another example is, “I am so grateful for all the money I have and all the money that’s coming to me.”  Those are much better, intentional statements with the focus and emphasis on ABUNDANCE, not debt.

If you are looking for the love of your life, what are the words and thoughts you’re emitting to the world about it?  When I hear women making statements like, “all the good men are taken” or “the are no more good men left in the world” I cringe.  I want to tell them in the worst way that it’s BECAUSE of those thoughts and words that they can’t meet one.  There are plenty of good men out there.  They are everywhere!  If you want to meet one, then change your language about it.  Tell yourself and others “I am highly attractive to the most wonderful men,” “I am so lucky that I meet amazing, smart, handsome, successful men wherever I go,” “I wonder what our life together will be like when I meet the man of my dreams.”  Listen to how different those words are.  If more women spoke like this, there would be a whole lot more love going around.

I’ve said my share of unkind words in my life…more than I care to remember.  Whenever I’ve said something in the heat of the moment that made me feel good for only that split second, I immediately felt bad for much longer.  Hours, days, weeks, YEARS!  Fortunately, I’ve learned the art of forgiveness (go back and look at my blog about FORGIVENESS IS SO FREEING if you want to know more about those three strategies.)  Once I forgave myself, I changed my language that I associated with the event.  We can change the emotions we have attached to any situation just by changing the words we use to describe it.  That’s so powerful!

Here are 3 ways to take ANY situation in your life and turn it around, just by switching up your language:

Vocabulary Replacement Exercise

Make a list of words that are not serving your life in a positive way.  As you create your list, add a “replacement” word next to it.  I’ll start a list below to help you get started.  Feel free to use this list and modify it any way you see fit.  But, allow yourself time to really think about these words.  When another one pops into your head, remember to write it down with your replacement word.

Replace:                                                                    With:

worry                                                                               wonder

fear                                                                                   faith

hate                                                                                  heart

trepidation                                                                      trust

bully                                                                                 buddy

react                                                                                respond

Start incorporating these into your sentences.  For example, let’s replace “I worry about my kids so much when they’re away from me” to “I wonder how much fun the kids are having right now.”

Another example, “I fear that I’m going to get very sick” with “I have faith that I am healthy and well, and I pay attention to what my body needs.”

This takes practice, but the more you do it, the more rapidly you’ll begin to create awareness when you’re speaking and thinking in a negative way.  Two things will happen:  You’ll start to replace those words and thoughts with more positive ones, OR you’ll catch yourself and not even bother saying what you were thinking…because you’ll realize there’s no point to saying it and putting it out in the universe.  You’ll start to change the subject and not dwell on the negative.

“The Person I Used To Be” Exercise

This is such a powerful phrase when you are speaking or referring to things from your past.  Instead of saying “I was so afraid, etc.” replace that with “The person I used to be was so afraid, etc.”  We are different people from the time we wake up in the morning to the time we go to sleep.  Millions of cells have died and been replaced with new, healthy ones.  We grow a little older each and every day, and so on.  Therefore, whenever we speak about ANYTHING from our past, we are not the same people we were when we felt that way or had something happen to us!  Therefore, it’s perfectly reasonable to use this phrase!  The beauty of it is that it allows us to change EVERY SINGLE DAY into the person we WANT to be, not who we USED to be.  We no longer need to refer to anything with “always” or “never” (remember, I listed those two words under my list of words to remove from my vocabulary?)  We no longer need to say things like “I always get sick, I always worry, I’m never on time, I never catch a break, etc.”

My Dad, whom I love to death, anticipates getting very sick with a chest cold every January.  He talks about it ahead of time, AS IF IT’S A GIVEN THAT IT WILL HAPPEN!  So, guess what?  He gets sick.  He gets sick because he EXPECTS to get sick.

He will say something like, “I get really sick every January.”  If he changed his words to say something like, “The person I used to be would get sick in January, but I’m not that person anymore.  I am healthy and well,” I truly believe he would stay healthy and well.   Wayne Dyer used to tell a similar story about a man who had a cold.  When Wayne asked him how long he’s had the cold, the man answered, “Next week it’ll be three weeks!”  In other words, he’s already predicting that the cold will last another week or more!

This is another exercise that takes practice, but once you’ve formed the habit and the realization that you have the power to change your circumstances with the words you use, you’ll start to see SO much more good and abundance show up in your life!

“Speak About The Life You Want” Exercise

When someone asks me about my businesses, I ALWAYS speak about the business being in the state I want it to be and not the state it currently is in. I speak of it the way I envision it in my mind.   Wayne Gretzky looked where he wanted to the puck to go, not where it was.  Michael Jordan…same thing…he would imagine the shot he wanted to take and see it before it happened.

Before I moved to San Diego, I would say aloud and write in my journal as often as possible that I want to live in San Diego, on a cliff overlooking the ocean, so I can see the sunset whenever I want.  At the time, I was living in the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago in a five bedroom house…and I was nowhere near the ocean!  However, I would think about it and talk about it as if it was a “given.”

When I moved from Chicago to San Diego, I lived in a beautiful vacation rental at the beach in the off season for nine months to get my bearings and decide where I wanted to settle down.  I  lived on a bluff, I could see the beautiful ocean from my deck, I could hear the waves at night as I slept, and I watched more sunsets than I can even count.  The universe gave me exactly what I asked for.  That’s the power of our words and thoughts.

Speak only about the good things in your life and the things you want…not from a place of lack, but from a place of DESIRE.  It’s GOOD to want things.  It’s not selfish or greedy.  We are here to live life abundantly!  So, make sure your words and your thoughts match your desires.

There you have it…the 3 ways to turn any situation around in your life just by watching what you say.  Remember, if you choose to omit words that don’t serve your life, they become obsolete to you.  Just because others use them does not mean that you have to.  You get to decide…always.

 

LOVE IT!!  I AM AWARE OF MY POWERFUL WORDS!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY CHOICE OF WORDS I SPEAK!

BRING IT!:   I SPEAK CLEARLY ABOUT WHO I AM AND WHAT I WANT!

 

Quote:  “Our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.”  – Cesar Chavez

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Who Is Cutting in Front of You in Your Life Line? 3 Ways to See Where YOU Rank

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Are you putting everyone’s needs in front of your own?  Do you take a backseat in your life?  Well, it’s time for that to stop.  We women have this uncanny nature of putting ourselves at the end of the line when it comes to everyone else’s needs.  We put our kids first, our spouses first, our families first, our bosses first, our friends first.  We feel guilty when we think we are being “selfish” and putting our needs at the top of the list.  Guess what?  We are SUPPOSED to put our needs first!  I call it “Being Selfish in a Really Good Way!”

Despite growing up being mostly Italian, my mother (the Italian) didn’t try to make me feel guilty.  However, as I became an adult, it just sort of happened.  Once I was living out on my own, I started feeling a tremendous amount of guilt for not putting more energy and emphasis on my relationship with my parents.  I believe it was my realization and appreciation of THEM putting the needs of their three daughters above so many things they probably wanted to do but never got the chance to.  Looking back now, I want to take this moment to fully express my gratitude for all that my parents have done for me. I feel bad about that.  If there were things they wanted to do and didn’t get the chance to, my heart is sad for them.  My mother died over 20 years ago, and if she were alive today, I know that she would say that there is NO reason to feel bad about anything and that all she ever wanted for me was my happiness.  She would definitely say “Diane…you go FIRST.  You put YOU First!  Don’t ever let anyone tell you any differently.”

Then, when I became a mother, things changed again.  I used to feel so guilty doing things for myself once I had the twins.  There’s that built-in guilt mechanism that kicks in.  It’s ridiculous!  Kids need a break from their parents just as much as we need a break from them.  Plus, the ultimate goal is to raise strong, self-sufficient, independent people.   When they’re young, they think the whole world revolves around them, and they’re RIGHT!!!  We’re the ones that screw it up for them!  They pay attention to everything, so we need to lead by example.  We need to let them know that they SHOULD come first.

Do you ever get that pang in your gut when you’ve said yes to something that you really didn’t want to say yes to?  That is your inner guidance letting you know that what you just did is incongruent with what you really want.  It’s not a “mistake,” but it goes against your soul’s truth.  Our souls know everything.  We are constantly being guided.  The good news is that we can look at that as a learning opportunity.  It’s a chance to say to ourselves, “Well, I’ll never do that again.”  Many times, that’s the only way to really learn anything.  Sometimes, in order to know what we really want, we have to know what we really don’t want.  When this happens to me, it’s usually because I’ve said “yes” to something that I really didn’t want to IN THAT MOMENT!  When that happens, I’m doing the one thing I should never be doing, which is NOT TRUSTING MYSELF.

When we take a deeper look at our decisions to put the needs of others above our own needs when we really don’t want to, it comes down to a few reasons:

– We don’t trust ourselves.

– We don’t respect ourselves enough.

– We worry more about what others will think and feel than we do about our own feelings.

Let’s take a deeper look at what is causing the lack of trust, respect and creating the worry.   I believe it is because we are not valuing our feelings and our time the way we should be.  We sometimes don’t even know what it is we want, or even what we are doing half the time.  We often just “do” because we think it’s the right thing to do, it’s what’s expected, and we don’t believe we have a choice.

Let me show you the three-step process to find out how you value yourself and your time in this life.  Here are three exercises to find out how you are “ranking” on your own list of priorities:

Journal Your Day

For one week, at the end of the day, write down what you spent your time doing all day.  If you already write in a journal in the evenings, add this to your practice.  If you don’t, you’ll find this to be an eye-opening experience.  Do your best to recall every activity you’ve done.  My suggestion is to put it into two columns…your column and everyone else’s column.  See which column is bigger.

Am I Doing This Because I Really Want To?

Become aware of how many times during the day you feel unenthusiastic about what you are doing.  Ask “Am I doing this because I really want to be doing this, OR am I doing this because I feel obligated to do this?”  There are only a handful of things, like going to the doctor or dentist, getting your hair and nails done, sleeping, showering and dressing, that you HAVE to do yourself.  If you do things you don’t want to be doing, but someone else could be doing them for you who would gladly do it, there’s an opportunity there!  Ask yourself these questions:  What is this costing me?  What is my time worth?  Is this something I could be paying someone else to be doing, therefore creating more time for me and more opportunities for me?  Is my life valuable enough to put my needs, wants, desires above everything else?  The answer to that is a resounding “YES.”

List Experiences You WANT To Have

Now, create a list of activities and experiences you WANT to be having.  If you’re a mom and want to spend more quality time with your children, put that down.  If you want to spend more time at the gym, put that down.  If you want to spend more time out in nature, put that down.  If you want to find true love, put that down.  Add EVERYTHING to your list.  Once you’ve done this complete list, add how much time you spend on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis doing these activities.  Shocking, right?  The results will most likely depress you.  You’ll see just how LITTLE time you spend putting you FIRST.

Well, I’m here to illuminate it for you.  It’s not too late to make a change.  This is called a “Breakthrough.”  They are moments in your life when you’re seeing things differently for the first time in a profound way.  You are now aware of it, so now is the time you can do something about it.  You can’t go back…you know too much now.

Let me end with this…I’m not saying you should not to do for others.  Of course, you should absolutely do for others!  Take care of your loved ones, volunteer, be a good citizen, etc.  Just be sure that YOU come FIRST!  When we put ourselves first…mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually…we then have the energy, the capacity, and the desire to do for others in a much more powerful, impactful way.  We have so much more to give.  You can give more because you gave to you FIRST.    

 

LOVE IT!:   I AM THE MANAGER OF MY LIFE!

THANK IT!:  I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS.

BRING IT!:  I DECIDE WHAT TO DO!

 

 

Quote:  “Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you don’t care about others.  It means you’re smart enough to know you can’t help others if you don’t help yourself first.” – Unknown

PS…Life is supposed to feel good…all the time.

When it comes to living the life of your dreams, there 8 key things you have to focus on to live that life. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for love, money, success, or happiness…I’ve discovered these 8 keys to creating your dream life, or as I call it, a “Have It All Life!”

Spend 3 days with me, from the comfort of your own home, and learn the 8 Principles to Get Whatever You Want! Learn more: http://bit.ly/dfvirtualevent

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